Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/25/15

Ahh, vacation time with the Morgans — two weeks of nothing but free food, drink, and fishing-themed sexual innuendo.

Dick Tracy, 7/25/15

Wave roses around, covet Space Coupes, brand a few minions on the face with a “B” and it won’t be long before people ask, “Say, do you suppose this ‘Mr. Bigg’ is actually beloved insane villain ‘Mr. Bribery’ from Dick Tracy’s beloved insane “Descent into Madness” period, the mid-1960’s?” Bribery was supposed to have died on June 26th, 1967, but today’s Bigg Reveal casts doubt on that.

Bribery is a bad man even by the standards of Dick Tracy villains, and let me tell you that’s pretty bad. You can read for yourself about his exploits, cigar-smoking cat, and much more on the lovingly maintained and informative Dick Tracy Wiki.

Bribery has long been obsessed with getting hold of a Space Coupe, even though the only one now in human hands was last seen carrying Dr. Sail, Dr. Ghote, “pilot” Flash Munro, no food or water, and very little oxygen toward Jupiter on a collision course. So that one’s probably out of reach. Kidnapping Diet Smith to build him a new one is Plan “B” (bwahaha).

Hi and Lois, 7/25/15

Hi’s wife is his boss. Thirsty’s wife is his enemy. Hypothesis: Thirsty and Irma are happier than Hi and Lois, and enjoy far better sex.

— Uncle Lumpy

Post Content

Funky Winkerbean, 7/24/15

Hey Old Cindy, news flash: popularity comes from people liking you. Young Cindy isn’t wearing a “popularity mask” — in her time she is genuinely, extraordinarily, and (imagine this) hilariously popular. And far from loathing herself, she feels really good about it. If you managed to talk yourself into regretting all that, it’s your loss — Young Cindy is having a blast.

Maybe Young Cindy should point out that bossy olds like you are forever bringing kids down telling them to stop having fun, and just because your Special Lesson cost you so much doesn’t mean it’s worth anything to her. And that her drink needs refreshing so excuse me lady, sheesh.

Hey, I guess in some crazy way that “self-loathing” thing was right after all!

Herb and Jamaal, 7/24/15

OK, Generic Customer Guy, what’s your beef? You didn’t like hanging out and watching TV with your friends, and you don’t like hauling stuff around for your friends, so I’m getting the impression you just really don’t like these friends! Go find new ones … like me, for example! It just so happens I’m replacing a fence out back, and will accept a generous offer to haul some lumber in lieu of a formal introduction.

Reminder: no Comments of the Week on my watch – Josh alone stands in judgment! I hope you enjoy your weekend as much as I enjoy building a fence with my new friend!

— Uncle Lumpy

Post Content

Lots of comics testing their traditional boundaries today. Check it out:

Mark Trail, 7/23/15

Slowly, with predator-like stealth, Mark Trail’s Sunday Nature strips have moved beyond their traditional range to invade and conquer the week. Tiny steps, at first – panels just a little larger, audience distracted by an African vista or boat explosion. Then the wildlife — foreground animals starting with bugs, then rodents, a comical lynx, then POW! A fin whale, right in your face!

Next comes dialog, and (like most dialog) this won’t go well for Mark: “They are known for attacking their own kind. Not like the FIN WHALE, a peaceful member of the RORQUALS, all of which have dorsal fins and throat grooves! Ken has been fishing these waters a long time … I’m confident he knows THE WHALE IS NOT A FISH … or else he wouldn’t be a fisherman but a WHALER, BRINGING THESE MAGNIFICENT CREATURES TO THE EDGE OF EXTINCTION, right? Hahaha wait what’s happening? Are those villains at NOAA behind this? I bet they are!”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/23/15

Doc Pritchart is a dentist? Why?

Mary Worth, 7/23/15

Huh? A change of mind can’t be forced? Mary, have you completely forgotten what you’ve been doing for the past seventy-seven years? It is your brand, lady.

I sure hope this isn’t a move toward a kinder, gentler strip in which Mary minds her own business, keeps more and more to herself, and gradually withdraws into privacy of her room until a passerby notices that the talc-and-salmon smell outside her door has developed a distinct undertone ….

Meanwhile, AdamandTerry, get a room, wouldja?

— Uncle Lumpy