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Hello everybody! I’m back, with a slightly delayed COTW and a huge thanks to everyone who gave during the fundraiser, and a huge thanks to Uncle Lumpy for filling in for me last week! Everyone will be getting individual thank-yous shortly. Meanwhile, I am prepared to take you into maw of the holiday season, comics wise, staring with the past week’s top comment:

“‘Tell you where the trout holes are’ has to be one of the most revolting euphemisms for sex that I’ve ever heard. And I attended junior high in southern Indiana.” –cheech wizard

And the runners up, very funny!

Mark Trail: “This latest remake of The Prisoner seems to completely miss the point of the original show.” –fluffy

“What a plot development — Mark becomes a bigamist and never sleeps with either wife.” –Maltmasher

Mary Worth: “I’m not sure those are soda bottles. In Panel 2, Jim is using his to show Dawn that if they can’t be more than friends, he will be her enema.” –Alfred E. Neuman

Rex Morgan, M.D.: “Nobody beats me in the obscenely perky tits department, see? Nobody!” –tb4000

Mary Worth: “Jim brings the phrase ‘being a douche’ to horrifying new levels of literalism.” –No Stupid Bear

Mary Worth: “That’s it. Next time a girl turns me down for a date, I’m going to make a scene and shout ‘It’s because I’m missing an arm, isn’t it?’ PS. I am not actually missing an arm.” –btow

Rex Morgan, M.D.: “Considering that June is the only one in the room who is NOT a stripper, why is she the only one dressed like a stripper?” –Here come the Judge

“HALLELUJAH, SOMEBODY IS FINALLY HITTING LES. THERE IS A GOD!” –commodorejohn

“Would nuns living with Rex Morgan for a year really count as cloistered? Haha, of course they would. Had you going, didn’t I?” –Artist formerly known as Ben

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Prince Valiant, 11/18/12

OK, so when his cultured wife Lady Winnifred died, Lord Grunyard fell apart, leaving Lockbramble’s lush but chilly northern lands in the hands of greedy, archery-obsessed overseer Roger Runetyne, who impoverished them in a vain attempt to grow tea, which he figured Britons might like. Moral: marketing insight is no substitute for operational capability!

Ace archer rebel Rhoda Red Hood plans to enter and win Lockbramble’s archery tournament in disguise, humiliating Runetyne so the rebels can reinstall Grunyard as their puppet ruler. One of those Hunger Games-y “win the contest and save the land” plots.

And oh yeah Val and Gawain wander in, get caught and released by the rebels, and allay Runetyne’s fears that the royals are onto him by showing up at the castle plastered.

But mainly, after this week in Rex Morgan, M.D., I figured you’d just want to stare at that first panel for a little while.

Phantom, 11/18/12

While the daily Phantom putters along playing Who’s Got the Lion?, the Sundays loop back to the year-and-a-half-long Diana’s Rescue story, in which gun-totin’, pirate-hatin’, Phantom-lovin’ Captain Savarna played a prominent role.

Once the Phantom finds that skeleton in the final panel, he’ll search for proof it’s Savarna’s: the purple notebook she always carried, filled with her 785 practice signatures — Mrs. Savarna Phantom Walker* in loopy schoolgirl script, with little hearts above all the i's and j's.

Funky Winkerbean, 11/18/12

Hey, let’s look in on the happy couple!

With his daughter off at college, Les married Cayla as a replacement foil for his execrable pun-like utterances. But Cayla is a take-charge ex-baseballer who doesn’t mind taking down a rival, or a mere annoyance like her new husband. And she is so done with his Lisa shit. Three strikes and you’re out, buddy.

That’s it for me: Josh will be back later today with Comments of the Week, and regular posts starting Monday. Thanks for a fun week!

–Uncle Lumpy

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/17/12

Remember back when some guy tried to hire June as a stripper and she turned him down? Well, times have changed and she’s up for anything now! A year and a half with Rex will do that to anybody, and I’m specifically including grandmothers and cloistered nuns.

Archie, 11/17/12

Archie is a self-righteous hypocrite who falsely believes himself human.

Hey, this is the second time this month comic strip characters have called themselves “we humans.” Are they growing aware of — and resenting — their fate as two-dimensional objects of mockery on the back pages of a dying medium? ARE THEY RISING UP IN RAGE? If so, hanging around this blog might not be the best idea right now, fair warning.

Apartment 3-G, 11/17/12

O MY GOD NOBODY TELL MARGO ABOUT THE REBELLION, OKAY?

Even as Evan poaches her clients for his Aunt Cathy’s agency, Margo prefers his dreamy neckrubs and obsequious flattery to Greg’s brutal honesty and unconscionable Lu Ann-noticing. But how the hell does she narrow her eyes like that? Maybe her skull is hinged like a snake’s, realigning at her will to transfix or engulf her prey? Brrr ….

Mark Trail, 11/17/12

Mark will go fishing with anybody but Rusty. And he sincerely believes somebody orbited a “Find Mark Trail” satellite like he’s Waldo or something. But despite long years of experience, he can’t tell who are the good guys and who are the bad. Here, Mark — let me help, and maybe you will put in a good word for me on that day of wrath?

Psst, Mark … it’s the facial hair. You’ll figure it out eventually — you always do, big fella.

— Uncle Lumpy