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Guys, just a very quick thank you to everyone who contributed to my Kickstarter. I managed to blow through my goal and am really overwhelmed by everyone’s support. Now I guess I have a novel to write! Stay tuned!

But you don’t have to wait any longer for this week’s comment of the week!

“J. Jonah Jameson’s look of unrestrained glee is quite possibly the best thing ever. You can almost hear him shouting insanity in the background. ‘Yes, YES! Restrain this son of a bitch! Rough him up! Rip his goddamn arms off a little more! MAKE MORE RANDOM REFERENCES TO PLAYS, OH MY GOD YES'” –Tophat

Or for the runners up! Very funny

“So Weirdly didn’t invent a time machine. Instead, all he did was invent a fucking flying car.” –Scott P.

“But no, Weirdly in his awesome sneakers, steam-punk goggles, stylin’ stash and top-hat has to put up with douchemaster Slylock Fox, whose rudimentary knowledge of basic animal functions allow him to (probably literally) ferret out the idiotic petty criminals in his world who don’t know enough about their own anatomy and basic functionality to even conjure a semi-plausible alibi.” –geekwhisperer

“‘What happened to all that conflict?’ ‘Who knows? It melted away.’ Oh, man. That is just … that is a satisfying plot resolution. Josh, I hope you’re taking good notes.” –teddytoad

“Carolingian-era restauranteurs have a lot to learn about maximizing profit-per-square-foot.” –DaveyK

“Now that the Batman trilogy is concluded I believe it is time for Mark Trail to introduce us to Sheepman Begins.” –Shadow of the Hedgehog

“I know that newspaper deadlines make it difficult to make timely, relevant jokes about current events, but I still feel that Brad Anderson could have predicted when Election Day would occur.” –AndyL

“Who’d bug us at 8 AM? Don’t they know only people with jobs are up at this hour?” –Doctor Handsome

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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Click the banner to help sponsor Josh’s novel and to reserve your copy! Details here.

Everyone: just wanted to offer a huge thanks to those who participated in my novel’s Kickstarter campaign, and those who helped spread the word. I have been humbled by everyone’s support and I promise to present you the best novel I can, in a year or so!

Family Circus, 7/27/12

I hope I am not breaking any hearts or spirits when I tell you that the Family Circus, like many legacy comics, is pieced together from a huge library of clip art that is modified to the extent necessary and usually no further. At least we know that today’s panel features a genuinely new joke, both because today really is the opening of the 30th Olympiad and because only in today’s fallen, degraded society would the squeaky-clean Keane Kids even know that “XXX” denotes morally repugnant grown-up kissing without baby-making. Still, the TV in today’s panel is kind of interesting to me, as it’s not the usual Carter-era console set, but instead appears to be a flatscreen sitting directly on the floor, which … I don’t think is how anyone actually watches a flatscreen? Especially kind of a small one, like this? Which makes me think that this is just a modified version of an older drawing where a weird brown flatscreen has replaced the traditionally faux-wood-paneled console set. Although who knows, maybe this little TV-on-the-floor is specifically for Jeffy and Dolly (they’re not allowed on the furniture, for OBVIOUS REASONS) and the fact that they have access to such things explains why they now suddenly know that sin exists.

Gasoline Alley, 7/27/12

I really don’t have much to say about it, but I am in awe that this Gasoline Alley faulty DVD player storyline continues against all odds to exist, as it has gone on forever and nothing keeps on happening. Now they’re openly acknowledging that they’re repeating jokes! At least I assume that the referenced joke actually appeared in the strip in another go-round of this endless scenario. My memories of the details are vanishing into time’s mists.

Gil Thorp, 7/27/12

Honest question: Are there people who just assume that any amputee in street clothes is a war hero? What if they lost an arm doing something stupid (e.g., playing with dynamite) or evil (e.g., tried to strangle an orphan, had stranglin’ arm chopped off by an actual hero with a machete)?

Mary Worth, 7/27/12

Every Mary Worth of course takes place in a baffling dreamscape of non-Euclidean spatial relations, but I’m pretty confused about what we’re looking at in panel two. Normally a cruise ship’s deck wouldn’t be that close to the water, right? Is the boat tipping over, and the fellow in red isn’t so much leaping with unnatural strength to safety as tumbling out into space? Or is it sinking straight down, with the lower decks already swamped and the water quickly rising up to reach our heroes? Either way, I admit it’s a bit churlish to question anything about a Mary Worth panel that features a crazed man in a bow-tie screaming “It’s the only option!” as he points to the churning waters of the Mediterranean. But such is the critic’s curse!

Apartment 3-G, 7/27/12

Hey, remember when Lu Ann found out that the woman she always thought was her cousin was really her mother, and suddenly realized why the couple who raised her and her sister were always so bitter and distant, and went off to South Dakota to confront them all and sort out the emotional consequences of this elaborate web of deceit? That all sounds like it would have made for compelling drama! I guess we’ll never know now, though.

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Click the banner to help sponsor Josh’s novel and to reserve your copy! Details here.

Just a bit longer than 24 hours to pre-order my novel through Kickstarter! Thanks to all for your generous support so far!

Hi and Lois, 7/26/12

Ditto’s look of complete and never-explained horror in panel two is utterly delightful to me. What do you suppose he’s looking at, just off-panel, that’s clearly causing him to rethink everything he believes about what goes on in his house when he’s asleep? Is Chip putting his final touches on his very own meth lab? Is Lois in the midst of a full-on orgy with folks from the local swinger’s club, a duty that Hi, tired from a long day at work, has begged out of so he can just read his newspaper? Has Dot been allowed to stay up and watch all the cool TV shows after her twin has been ordered to bed?

Mary Worth, 7/26/12

Speaking of delightful, I am delighted by today’s awesome “Life is brutal” callback, as Wilbur has been forced by events to acknowledge that all his attempts to cheer up Dawn have been disastrously counterproductive. If only he had acknowledged life’s brutality and just stayed home and watched TV with his mopey daughter! As it is, looks like he’ll have to engage in a little half-hearted fisticuffs for lifeboat space, for form’s sake, before his inevitable drowning.

Luann, 7/26/12

The assembled moviegoers are right to be horrified by the conclusion of this film. “The End” in Chicago font? What the hell is this, 1992?

Marmaduke, 7/26/12

Marmaduke hopes that, by exposing democracy as a sham, he can accelerate humanity’s decision to accept him as our eternal undead demon monster king.