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BREAKING: Savage dictator orders top cop to deport undesirables without trial

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Six Chix, 10/3/11

The comics do not have the best record of seamlessly integrating breast cancer awareness messages into their usual laff routines, so I suppose we ought to give Six Chix credit for making a halfway decent mammogram-themed gag, as well as for semi-accurately depicting one of the games from the Mario Brothers franchise. I was going to say that this freakishly proportioned doctor, with his oversized skull and bug eyes, looks like a classic movie mad scientist, which could explain his unorthodox medical equipment; but, honestly, his patient doesn’t look much like a standard-issue representative of H. sapiens either. Perhaps these two are all too aware of various forms of cancer, living as they do in a high-radiation zone full of mutants like themselves.

Baldo, 10/3/11

Oh, but SNAP, it looks like breast cancer awareness just got stone cold outrun (or outskated?) by diabetes awareness! Are there people rollerblading to cure breast cancer? I don’t think so! Boy, breast cancer awareness just looks like a pile of garbage now, doesn’t it.

Slylock Fox, 10/3/11

Once a habitat has been invaded by an outside species, can it ever truly be restored to its original state? Is the blunt instrument of government policy capable of managing something as delicate as an ecosystem, or do attempts to do so do more harm then good? Since species replacement is part of the natural cycle of life, is it even realistic to try to preserve a region’s biosystem in some arbitrary static state? Are these questions far too difficult for most adults to answer, let alone children? Oh, they are? Uh, well, then, just, I don’t know, count the snakes or something, I guess.

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Sunday quickies

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Spider-Man, 10/2/11

I’m pretty sure a thought balloon containing the phrase “I hadn’t thought this through!” ought in the interest of accuracy to be hovering over Spider-Man’s head in each and every installment of the newspaper Spider-Man strip in which he appears. Hope you’re proud of the generation of wheelchair-bound cop-hating scofflaws you’re about to unleash on the world, Spidey!

Pluggers, 10/2/11

God damn it, this mildly racy pun has forced me to hold the concepts of “breasts” and “pluggers” in my mind simultaneously, if only briefly. This has I suppose increased my awareness of cancer, as the resulting emotion is a metaphorical cancer upon my very soul.

Panel from Mary Worth, 10/2/11

Huh, so straight female pro soccer fans are more sexually aggressive than the gay male ones? Mary Worth: always teaching me fun facts!

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Three or four days from now, Archie will be forced to put the lotion in the basket

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Family Circus, 10/1/11

I like the looks of stunned incomprehension on the kids’ faces in this cartoon. “Is she … is she trying to make some kind of football reference? Like, we’re going to snap the ball and … eat … lunch? That doesn’t really work the way she thinks it does.” Add in the fact that the kids aren’t even in mid-play — Billy’s already taking off his helmet, PJ looks like he was less “playing football” and more just “rolling around in mud,” and Dolly is standing by demurely with her hands crossed, as any proper young lady should in the presence of roughhousing — and we can see this as the first of no doubt many doomed, tin-eared attempts by Ma Keane to be a “cool mom.”

Apartment 3-G, 10/1/11

Ha ha, what a great encapsulation of all that’s insane and wonderful about the current Lu Ann romance storyline. Paul’s parents worry that it won’t work out between Lu Ann and their son because they’re opposites — you know, a dumb blond who lives in a densely populated city on the west side of the Hudson and a dumb blonde who lives in a densely populated city on the east side of the Hudson. Oh, and also Paul is very close to his parents, while Lu Ann hates hers, which is all the opposite these two need, because the #1 thing to know about someone is whether or not they hate their parents. Then we segue into some hottt Linksi sex talk, rawr!

Archie, 10/1/11

Mr. Lodge is a master of psychological warfare; unable to prevent his daughter for dating the hated Archie, he’ll seek to dehumanize the poor lad by only referring to him as “it.”