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Hagar the Horrible, 5/4/23

I know it’s a little hypocritical, because I always complain about legacy comics being static and hidebound, but I also am always a little unsettled when a legacy comic introduces a new character out of nowhere. Still, I have high hopes for this new fellow in Hagar the Horrible, Honi’s Friend Who Wears A Beret And Waits For Food With His Fork And Knife At The Ready And His Tongue Hanging Out Like A Dipshit, and I look forward to his future adventures, assuming he’s not about to be disemboweled by Hagar.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/4/23

OK, I take back what I said yesterday: Rene doesn’t need emotional validation to recognize his own inherent good qualities. No, he knows himself quite well as the ultimate soulless scamming machine. He will stop at nothing to hone the skills necessary to pull off his grifts. If he must look deeply into the souls of men and help them set their lives right in the process, so be it, but that cannot be anything more than a means to an end, and that end is to make a few bucks off of people on a cruise who might want to be similarly transformed. I will no longer question his purity of purpose in this space. Too bad he’s probably going to prison for attempted murder now!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/4/23

What kind of elaborate and pricey bachelor party would a resident of Hootin’ Holler envision? Would it involve strippers? Did you read that sentence and then suddenly and involuntarily imagine what the Snuffy Smith version of a strip club would look like? Did the very thought of it make you want to lie down, not in a sexy way, but more in a desperately try to achieve a state of ego death that will allow you to stop imagining it way?

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/3/23

You know, the story of Rene is a true tragedy, and not just because he tried and failed to kill a late-middle-aged man, who then further humiliated him by risking his own life to save him from the sea. No, I’m talking about the fact that Rene does not love himself enough to see himself as anything other than a crook. He really did teach Sarah about art, before she got amnesia! He was a kind and supportive mentor to Galexia, his new-age grift partner! And it seems like whatever mumbo jumbo he came up with for his Augustus Mirakle persona helped Mud really move past some of his many, many personality problems. Truly, he has the power to help and to heal, if he’d only allow himself feel his own capacity for good.

Family Circus, 5/3/23

Jesus, look at how smug these two are at pulling off one of the dumbest wordplay act-outs the world’s ever seen. Thank God they usually despise each other so they don’t team up on bullshit like this more often. I hate it.

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Crock, 5/2/23

Clearly a lot of Crock strips will have you saying “What on earth is going on here,” but today’s Crock really has me saying, “No, really, what on earth is going on here?” I guess we’re meant to understand that the French Foreign Legion’s militarized colonial regime makes a mockery of the rights to free speech as laid out in the Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen, but it’s very funny that the way this is conveyed is by having Crock declare that “signs are illegal!” And honestly, this angle just seems like it’s adding unnecessary confusion to a joke about how Grossie is protesting (?) something in a hypocritical way, but the engine for that middle panel’s gotta come from somewhere, I guess.

Mary Worth, 5/2/23

Wait, did we know that Dr. Ed was widowed? I don’t think we did, and I am enjoying Estelle carefully composing a neutral position for her facial features as she processes this information and begins to grasp that Ed’s issues might go a bit beyond “burned out at work.” Just another successful Mary Worth romantic yoga session!