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Do not rub your eyes, O Comics Curmudgeon readers, as they do not deceive you: you are in fact gazing upon the newly redesigned version of this site! (If you’re not looking at the redesigned version of the site, reload the page while holding down your shift key to clear your browser’s cache.) Yes, I have returned, and have brought this new design as a Hanuchrismwanzaa gift to you. Three cheers to Adam Norwood for all his hard work on it, and to those of you who volunteered to beta test for helping me track down bugs!

So, what’s new with the site? Well, obviously, it looks a bit different. I’m very pleased with the new appearance. Hopefully our beta testing has stamped out any outright bugs with the new design, but if you spot any, please email me at bio@jfruh.com to let me know. (Please include the operating system and browser you’re using, along with a screenshot if you can.)

But the new site doesn’t just have a pretty face! There’s also some excitingly updated bits of functionality that you can explore!

Replying to comments. Way back when I was polling readers about what they’d like to see in the redesign, the majority came out fairly strongly against having threaded comments, so we didn’t add them; however, we have implemented functionality that makes replies a bit easier. At the top of each comment you’ll see the word “[Reply]”; click on this and a bit of HTML will be put into your commenting text box, which, when you post your comment, creates a link back to the original comment. This is easier to understand when you’ve actually played with it, but I think you’ll find it makes it a little easier to navigate through long comment threads.

The advanced archives. You’ll note that the “Archives by Comic” and “Archives by Month” menus have been relocated to the top of the site. Next to them you’ll see a link labelled “More archives”. Click on this (or just click here) and you’ll be taken to the spiffy new advanced archives page! (On the mobile version of the site — more on which in a moment — you can get here by clicking on the “Archives” link at the bottom of the page.) You can get much more granular with your searching using this page than you could before — for instance, you can find all Apartment 3-G posts from the summer of 2005 that contain the word “Margo.” Play around with it and let me know what you think! And let me know if you encounter anything that seems like an error.

Also, in my attempt to keep the front page less cluttered I moved the Random Post O’ Mystery to the advanced archives page; however, this would be easy enough to move back to the front page, if enough people request it.

The mobile/low-bandwidth version of the site. This isn’t quite new — I added a mobile version to the current live site a few weeks ago — but it’s been tweaked a bit and made to look more like the regular version of the site. It contains all the same content as the regular site, and any comments you add there will be visible to all, but it’s stripped down and optimized for smaller screens.

If you’re accessing the site using something that the Web server interprets as a mobile device — generally a cell phone or PDA — you’ll be directed to this version of the site automatically, and should already be looking at it. There is a prominent link on each page that will redirect you to the standard, non-mobile version of the beta site; you can click (tap?) on that and see which works better for you.

I’m calling this the “mobile/low-bandwidth” version of the site because I’m also thinking that people using regular computers who have smaller screens or slow Internet connections might find it an easier way to read the blog. You can switch to this version of the site by scrolling to the bottom of the screen and clicking the link that says “Mobile/lo-fi version.” So, if you’ve ever despaired that your old computer/small screen/slow Internet connection makes it harder for you to enjoy the Comics Curmudgeon, I’d like you to try this out and let me know if you think it’s a viable alternative.

Once you’ve chosen to view either the main site or the mobile site, you should always see that version until you choose to go back to the other. Let me know if you don’t!

Update: There’s currently a bug on the mobile site that seems to prevent comment posting from working there … will keep you posted on when that’s fixed. Update to the update: This is now fixed, huzzah!

New logo. OK, this isn’t “new functionality” per se, but … well, look at it up there! Isn’t it lovely? Discerning eyes will recognize the work of Francesco Marciuliano of Sally Forth and Medium Large fame. Upon looking at it, you’re probably thinking, “Geez, I’d sure like to show my love of this site by proudly wearing a garment of some sort bearing that logo!” Well, your wish has been answered, my friend. (As always, let me know if there’s another form of merchandise that you’d like the logo on, as I can add it easily.)

And that’s about it! I hope you enjoy the new design, as, if this site’s history is any indication, you’re going to be looking at it for another four to five years. I will be getting back to the serious business of comics mocking at some point this weekend — today? tomorrow? WHO KNOWS! But soon! I am looking forward to spending 2010 with all of you and Wilbur’s bastard spawn!

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Well, kids, as happens every year, I’m about to depart for my annual multi-city Christmas travelganza. I will start posting again on January 2, or thereabouts! But, as has become my wont, I have some fun things to share with you before I sign off for the year.

First up is an awesomely ambitious offering from faithful reader commodorejohn! You may have heard some of this comics-themed music before; now he’s completed an entire concept album called The Funnies, the cover art to which I dearly hope he doesn’t mind that I reproduce here:

With song titles like “Mary Worth Told Me To,” “Bösendorfer Bop,” and “Rockin’ The Armory (Recorded live at the Bucket, August 4th, 2009.)”, how could you go wrong? And it’s downloadable for free! What are you waiting for?

Also! I got a note from faithful reader Kattack about a recent trip she took to Monterey, California, where she encountered a playground dedicated to Dennis the Menace. Here she is, high-fiving and frolicking with the cartoon scamp in an extremely non-menacing fashion:

As is generally the case, the missing menace was provided by raccoons, who have decided to blanket the park with their delicious-looking feces:

“I actually made my whole family go out of their way to find this park once I saw it on a map because I knew you would appreciate it,” Kattack says. “The raccoon shit sign was just a bonus.”

Also! We’ve all been watching in mingled horror and fascination as the Pearls Before Swine characters have, with apparent success, agitated for Ziggy to start wearing pants. But what if things had gone … the other way? The Jumble’s Jeff Knurek dares to visualize it!

And finally! Faithful reader Susan sent me some pics of one of her delightful finds: a Mark Trail coloring book!

Wait, who’s this little blonde girl? A friend for Rusty? Ha ha, just kidding, it’s well known that Rusty has no friends.

What says “good, wholesome fun for kids” more than the severed heads of their favorite comics characters surrounding a personal message from Ronald Reagan’s Secretary of the Interior?

The most unsettling thing to me about this image is Mark and Rusty’s white hair. Kids, do you have an extremely black crayon? One that’s blacker than black? One that’s so black it appears to shine with its own dark, mysterious inner light?

Let me just step in here and say that you don’t own any of America, Rusty. It’s exactly this sort of commie “holding land in common” talk that led directly to Mark’s brutal assault on a duly appointed law enforcement officer.

And on that note, I leave you to your own holiday fun. See ya in 2010, everybody!

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Blondie, 12/23/09

As is sadly typical, the actual punchline in today’s Blondie is so gentle as to be essentially undetectable, but I confess that I like the visual gag. Generally, when the Bumsteads’ shop, they end up with packages ludicrously stacked in their arms in structurally improbable configurations. Today’s strip takes this to its logical conclusion, with a series of boxes just sort of floating in a cloud around Blondie, without any visible means of support.

Mark Trail, 12/23/09

OH YEAH MARK TRAIL JUST PUNCHED A COP RIGHT IN THE FUCKIN’ FACE! This is the greatest Christmas gift you or I or anyone else will receive this year. Note that the mighty blow has miraculously dislodged the car keys that Mark and the lawmen were discussing in the previous panel; Mark’s fists are unerring plot-device-seeking projectiles.

Hi and Lois, 12/23/09

Add another entry to the “call social services on the Flagstons” file: the apparently unsupervised Trixie is just eating garbage she finds under the furniture now.

Herb and Jamaal, 12/23/09

I’ve been reading this strip for going on five years now, and more or less against my will I’ve actually accumulated some knowledge about the title characters. For instance, here’s what I know about Jamaal: He’s a firefighter, he’s in love with his fellow firefighter Yolanda, his name is “Jamaal J. Jamaal,” and — a relevant detail about today’s installment — he’s a former professional basketball player. Since today he’s challenging his gnomish best friend to a game of one on one, I’m guessing I’m going to have to add “he’s a cruel bastard who needs to boost his fragile ego by demolishing poor Herb on the court” to that list.

Apartment 3-G, 12/23/09

“To be more specific: I hope you like them enough that you’ll let me trade these poinsettias I stole from the Macy’s window display for more sleeping pills!”