Post Content

B.C., 2/9/08

HO HO YES, THE POLITICIANS, THEY ARE ANNOYING! THOSE DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS, THEY MAKE ME ANGRY! That’s exactly the sort of barbed and targeted attack on people’s closely held beliefs that will get you pulled out of the paper!

Legacy artist, please. Your shit-stirring does not impress. Start writing rambling, incoherent poems about Jesus and/or explaining how Christ came to put out the menorah and then we’ll talk.

Crankshaft, 2/9/08

If there’s one saving grace in Crankshaft, it’s Crankshaft’s total and complete dedication to angry misanthropy. In another kind of strip, this lame punny punchline (I think it’s supposed to be punny, though I admit to being at a loss as to just what “doodle date” is a pun on) would have been issued by a cheery old man in an avuncular fashion; but the ’Shaft’s facial expression in the third panel makes clear his utter disgust for those ink-stained wretches who have the nerve to quit drawing and move down to some nice place in Boca. “You know, I’ve totally screwed up my retirement savings plans and will have to drive a damn bus and deal with children I hate every damn day for the rest of my bile-shortened life, so I don’t see why any of these cartooning jerkfaces should get to enjoy their old age. They can kiss my white, wrinkled, hate-clenched ass.”

Gil Thorp, 2/9/08

Jeez, Gil, you’re lucky Andrew was able to shrug, seeing as his impossibly long and thin body in panel one seems to have been completely de-boned. Honestly, this may be the worst new-head-attached-to-random-body-from-somewhere-else drawing I can remember in Gil Thorp, and it appears in the same panel as someone who’s arm looks to be on backwards.

The dude peeking over Marty Moon’s shoulder in panel three, meanwhile, seems to be on the verge of complete rapture. I know that high school sports is the primary form of entertainment in the blighted wasteland from which the Valley Conference schools draw their student body, but that guy is just too excited about the Mudlark starting lineup. My guess is that Milford’s “spirit squad” has started handing out Ecstasy to fans at the door.

Family Circus, 2/9/08

“You also may be a Neanderthal, with your protruding browridge and subhuman intellect. What I’m trying to say is, we’re selling you to a circus sideshow.”

Post Content

Beetle Bailey, 2/8/08

I’m a man of great complexity and great misanthropy; thus, while I always complain when boring legacy comics like Beetle Bailey are stupid and painfully obvious, I also reserve the right to complain when they’re stupid and completely opaque. Is this supposed to be some kind of cutting commentary on “modern art”? Is the wall-squiggle supposed to be what the already stylized medium of graffiti art would look like rendered in the stylized, cartoonish world of Beetle Bailey? Is there in fact something wrong with the mouth? I’m confused. Confused and angry.

Gil Thorp, 2/8/08

Gil Thorp, meanwhile, remains a pure, soothing delight. I hope that the whole town of Milford bands together to help track Andrew’s every movement out of a sort of exasperated affection for his obviously unhinged stalkee. The A-Train will eventually be driven to madness and suicide by the constant feeling of being watched by everyone he encounters. Remember, it takes a village to stalk a child!

One Big Happy, 2/8/08

I can’t believe it’s been more than a year and a half since the last appearance of Earl the Weird Vacuum Cleaner Lovin’ Kid, possibly the greatest One Big Happy incidental character in history. Today’s strip mainly seems dedicated to using the word “suck” in a way will shock the bluehairs but technically won’t be the least bit dirty, but I’m much more unsettled by just how amorous Earl’s getting with the vacuum in the final panel.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/8/08

It’s OK for me to enjoy Rex’s usual look of smug dickishness being replaced in the final panel here with one of pure sliding-down-the-mountain terror because I know he’s going to come out of it more or less unharmed. I mean, his name is on the strip, right? It’s not like they’d rename it Rex Morgan, Mud-Caked Mouldering Corpse, would they?

Post Content

Hi kids! This is Josh, back behind the wheel of the blog. Just wanted to thank Uncle Lumpy for his inimitable filling in (and, to reply to a few questions in the comments, I try to pay him, but he won’t let me!). Friday comics coming Friday, but a few random comics-related items of interest have come in that should be brought to your attention now!

We begin with our very first photo of Jungle Patrol-themed merchandise! Faithful reader Michele is proud to proclaim that lady cops and waitresses are in fact tougher than pirates, and indeed to prove it in this photo. Look at how cowed and nonthreatening that pirate looks at the mere sight of that fine t-shirt!

Also! The always awesome This Week In Milford blog alerts us to an exciting development! Comic artist Steve Bryant has a blog named Atomic Tiki Studio, on which he says that he recently tried out as the new artist for Gil Thorp. He didn’t get the gig, but this does reveal to the world that the syndicate is in the market for a new Gil Thorp artist — so, aspiring comic drawing-types, start your submissions! Bryant also posts some of his tryout strips, which are drawn based on scripts from the current A-Train story arc. Interesting to see the gang with an entirely different look, though Gil himself looks a little too meaty for my taste. Damn it, the man’s supposed to be defined by a series of impossible straight lines!

Also! A faithful reader deep within the Sanford Herald of North Carolina points me to a blog post from his boss about the trials and tribulations of attempting to add new comics to a newspaper. It’s pretty revelatory as to why exactly there’s so much legacy cruft out there.

Also! And finally! Another faithful reader sent me a link his own Apartment 3-G fan art. Yes, it’s safe for work, you sickos. Enjoy!