Post Content

Gil Thorp, 1/20/23

So earlier this week, two Mudlarks were griping that they’d never raise enough money to save the athletics department with their typical dollar candy bar fundraiser, and maybe they should sell vapes! Ha ha, it was a funny joke, everybody laughed … except, nope, here they are actually selling vape cartridges to innocent punk rockers who quite frankly look a billion times cooler than these two dorks? This is of course extremely funny, and even funnier if they dutifully hand this dirty vape money over to Gil and the school, rather than doing what most people do with cash made from illegal activities, which is keep it for themselves.

Dick Tracy, 1/20/23

Oh, sorry, my mistake, the art forger guy only got spear-gunned to death in Panama City, but his corpse drifted over to Cuba and into Wunbrow’s jurisdiction, it seems like. Anyway, Chandler’s face got all fucked up from water damage and maybe getting partially eaten by a shark or something, but Wunbrow isn’t going to let us see it, because he’s a dirty Communist.

Pluggers, 1/20/23

WOMEN, always wanting you to LISTEN TO and then REMEMBER what they say, amiright fellas

Post Content

Dick Tracy, 1/19/23

Hey, remember “Wunbrow,” Dick Tracy’s pal with only one [eye]brow? He showed up in 1958 as a Tracy ally and agent of Batista’s dictatorship, and then, proving his ideological malleability, reappeared in 2016 as a Tracy ally and agent of Castro’s dictatorship, and now he’s a Tracy ally and agent of … the municipal government of Panama City, Florida? Anyhoo, he’s summoning Dick down to his new semi-tropical home because that’s where Kriptonite/Kyptonite murdered the art forger guy, with a speargun. “Don’t let them embalm the corpse!” says Dick, who can’t get off if he doesn’t get to smell rotting human flesh at least once a month.

Pluggers, 1/19/23

Look, it’s possible that a plugger might own a motorcycle, but nobody thinks that a plugger would own a set. They’re quite expensive and honestly that sort of ostentation is not pluggerish at all. I feel like these panels should at least present us with plugger descriptions that are slightly surprising, or give us some vague insight into the plugger lifestyle that we didn’t previously have. Pluggers aren’t going to go out and buy a matching pair of helicopters either, but I’m sure we can all agree that we don’t need that explained to us.

Post Content

Gil Thorp, 1/18/23

You might not know it based on his lackluster coaching record, but Gil is capable of shrewdly planning ahead. He’s facing an abrupt firing if he fails to deliver a basketball championship, and he surely won’t get that sweet, sweet endorsement money he’s been too good chase after once that happens, which is why he needs to establish his new “Gilpa” persona now, while he’s still a draw. Hopefully by the time he’s fired, fans of the Fox Used Auto Extended Universe will have come to accept him as one of their many beloved characters and he can keep getting paid work.

Gasoline Alley, 1/18/23

Not sure I fully understand the theological world-building that underpins Gasoline Alley. In this universe, Santa is an immortal gift-giver who takes post-Christmas vacations and runs his operation like a modern businessman, but is also (see the halo) Nicholas of Myra, a 4th century Greek bishop who has ascended to sainthood and can intercede with God to protect the lives of mortals, a category that apparently includes non-human elves. Did Jesus also die to save elfkind in the GasAlliverse, or did they have their own Savior? Really hope we’re going to explore all this rather than waste time on Bunky’s inevitably failed business venture.

Dennis the Menace, 1/18/23

I was an extremely dorky child and teen, as evidenced by the fact that my big teenage rebellion consisted of skipping school a couple times a month so I could go by myself to the downtown library and read. But in my opinion, even that’s more menacing than doing it to spend quality time with a kindly old neighbor lady.

Blondie, 1/18/23

J.C. Dithers doesn’t seem like the most tech-savvy guy, but I certainly would hope that DithersCo’s IT department can set up web filtering software to prevent their employees from wasting entire afternoons writing intensely erotic roastfucking fanfic on AO3.