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As Monday draws to a close, why not kick back and relax with this week’s top comment?

“I think my favorite thing about the last two MT strips has been the incessant apologizing. ‘Oh, I’m so SORRY that I have to kick your door down.’ ‘No, I’M sorry that you had to break into my house.’ ‘Oh, no, I’M sorry that I have to punch you in the face.’ I would say that they’re being ironic. But in a world where little girls can catch illness of the puppy, I just don’t believe that irony has been invented yet.” –A New Day

And then pour down some icy cold COTW runners-up?

“I think it’s hilarious that the hopeless degenerate Haley’s idea of drug-fueled mayhem is the absurdly wholesome suggestion to ‘go look at the art.’ It’s clear why Alan is so outraged; he’s all, ‘No, let’s go to the nursing home and read to visually impaired seniors!'” –Violet

“I also like the fact that, in addition to them not using drug lingo or real drug paraphernalia, neither one of them appears to actually be high.” –20 Miles From the City

“Hey, Mark? Ever hear of a little something called a ‘search warrant’? Or ‘home invasion’? Or ‘knocking’?” –The Spectacular Spider-Brick

“‘I’m sure you did a great job, Mary — as always!’ = ‘Will you please shut the fuck up about this?'” –cheech wizard

“What intrigues me is how polite Mark is. It’s like he’s the Amy Vanderbilt of tough guys. He certainly has her ankles.” –gh

“Before we dismiss the lackluster denounment of the pot-dealing neighbors, remember the wonderful arc of strips with Abbey and the yellow room — the only instance in which paint drying wasn’t just exciting, but erotic.” –Little Guy

“Blood Cargo really is a great title, though. It’s the only thing in this strip that remotely has any life to it. Or possibly ravenous zombie pirate un-life.” –SFMarcus

“Am I the only one that thinks that Ruby might be Lu Ann’s real mother? Am I the only one that cares? No, wait. I don’t care either.” –mafketis

“Whoever was wondering how Lynn could possibly continue greasing the plot wheels, look no further than the oil reserve trapped in Weed’s hair. That boy’s scalp looks like the Middle East. And I’m not just saying that because I dream of him and Michael getting hit with a missile, although, wink.” –RaJ

“I don’t know if that puppy is housebroken, but Mark had better be sure that he’s shirtbroken.” –Tom Bombadil

“Oh, Jeff. Do NOT get between the woman and her meddling. It’ll be like those bear attack videos when some dumb camper thinks it would be cute to hug a bear cub. I smell a mauling in the wind … a mauling of sensible advice, that is.” –rocketbride

“As cartoon Chevalier impersonators go, I still prefer Pepe Le Pew. Sexual harassment notwithstanding, at least he doesn’t have glistening wonky eyes and a sheepish fanged grin that makes him look like he is about to devour your face, but feels bad about it.” –Sharona

“I’m actually reasonably curious to see what becomes of this twist in the Mary Worth storyline. I think that means I’m ready to be euthanized.” –monsieurjohn

As usual on this day of the week, we must give a big sloppy kiss (MWAH!) to everyone who puts a little bit of scratch in the tip jar!

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Gasoline Alley, 5/26/08

Can I confide to you that I actually find the concept of a heavily-accented, curly-mustachioed French pitchcat named “Chef Meowrice” pretty funny, if deranged? I’m guessing the name is supposed to be a pun on famous French-accent-haver Maurice Chevalier. However, I am firmly, firmly opposed to “Tabby Wynette,” mostly because she should be be belting out country tunes full of hard-earned sadness and loss, rather than just standing around in some kind of creepy cat S&M get-up and cozying up to some Frenchie for pulverized mouse bits.

Popeye, 5/26/08

In other news, Popeye has come ’round again to Olive Oyl’s suicide, as is its wont.

Apartment 3-G, 5/26/08

Meanwhile, across the world in Tibet, we’ve been given a respite from Alan’s zany drug antics. Eric and Tenzin have been making the long trudge to Lhasa on foot, apparently unaware that you can actually take the train there now. You can tell that they’ve been on a long journey because Eric has grown a neatly trimmed beard, while Tenzin has become a blond-haired Caucasian. Seeing the fabled city in the distance, Eric muses that it would have been better for the place to have been destroyed and all its people killed than to have any contact with modernity.

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Slylock Fox, 5/25/08

At last, Count Weirdly has hit upon a sinister plan that’s actually sinister, not just irritating: dropping Max and a bevy of decoy robo-Maxes out of the bomb bay of his WeirdlyJet! I don’t even want to imagine the dumber-vs.-dumbest adventure that must have led up to Max’s capture. Fortunately, Weirdly has forgotten the tails on his Maxdroids, because otherwise they are identical to the real thing in every respect — including their no doubt helpless mewling as they plummet to their deaths, and bowler hats that remain firmly in place, in violation of the laws of physics.

The sickest part, for me, is the vulture sitting on the WeirdlyJet’s nose, presumably waiting for Max to hit the ground with a splat so he can enjoy some lunch.

Meanwhile, over in the Six Differences, I like the happy expression on the frog’s face, as he silently salutes his crocodile brother, striking a blow for cold-blooded creatures against their mammalian oppressors.

Blondie, 5/25/08

I’m kind of charmed by Dagwood’s terrified retreat that finally leaves him standing in the empty bathtub, his last place of refuge (occasional incursions from his boss notwithstanding). I also like the fact that Daisy has followed the bickering couple upstairs, wearing a terrified expression that says “Why are male-person-who-feeds-me and female-person-who-feeds-me fighting? Why? Will this affect the frequency with which I’m fed?”

Dennis the Menace, 5/25/08

Gee, when it comes to questions about his past military service, Mr. Wilson seems to be protesting a little too much, complete with his trademarked creepy single bead of sweat. Is it possible that this whole “flat feet” story is just a front (after all, he did walk a mail route for thirty years) and that George Wilson was just too much of a coward to fight the Nazis/the Hun/the Spanish Menace/however the hell old he’s supposed to be?

Sally Forth, 5/25/08

My, the shape of Ted’s squirt gun certainly is … suggestive.