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New comics coming in dribs and drabs today, but I wanted to start your day off with a new comment of the week! It was particularly tough this week ‘cause there was even more funny stuff making the short list than usual. First, the winner:

“Did you know that you can rearrange the letters in ‘Anthony Caine’ to spell ‘Jar Jar Binks’? Well, you can’t really, but if God were fair, you could.” –Kate

And the many close-but-no-cigars:

“All right, so Funky Winkerbean. I’m starting to get a feel for this comic. Helmet hair guy is happy that there is going to be a snow day. This of course means there will be a terrible blizzard, many killed, etc. I’m just wondering how far it goes. Will people be forced to eat their own pets to survive?” –majolo

“I’m not going to read this strip [FBOFW] for a while because otherwise I’d gouge my eyes out with a spoon and I need to save that for when Liz and the mustache get married.” –Professor Fate

“As for the FOOB website, damn, those blinking eyes are creepy. It gives credence to the theory that Lynn Johnston doesn’t actually draw her characters, but instead traps the souls of poor, unsuspecting hobos on paper and rearranges their appearance to match the appropriate Patterspawn.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Also, what is the deal with Gil Thorp? I’ve never heard of it or seen it before I got hooked on Comics Curmudgeon. Now it’s pretty much all I think about.” –winky

“I noticed today that Ziggy is copyrighted as Ziggy and Friends, which is completely inaccurate because, as anyone who even glances at it knows, Ziggy has never had, and never will have, friends. He’s probably the loneliest stumpy bald thing in the world!” –cowman16

“I’ve told my Vietnamese colleagues about Mary Worth’s impending trip. They never read the strip until yesterday but they already seem to dislike her.” –MossMoses

“Crock appears to be a comic strip for people in the military who don’t enjoy humour, but who find the competent artwork of Beetle Bailey intimidating.” –Victoria Waterfield

“I call my sandwich the ‘Bil Keane Sandwich’ because it’s mayonnaise on white bread. Oh yeah, and it’s not funny.” –Weaselboy

“Anthony’s personality is like action in Gil Thorp: it all happens off screen and we only hear about it secondhand.” –Monkey’s Paw

“I think if anything will make the kid a serial killer terrorist, it’ll be the name Wally, Jr.” –Caged Tygre

“What really gets my goat about today’s FOOB is how Liz quickly jumps to the conclusion that, since his car is in her driveway, his ‘car’ must therefore also be in her ‘driveway.'” –commodorejohn

“Seriously, you guys, this sucks. It’s Granthony’s world, we’re all just chained in the basement.” –Nyssa23

“There are layers and layers of nonsense in that Funky Winkerbean. It’s like a lasagna of stupid.” –Joeypants

“And if by ‘personal approach to cooking’ he means ‘frying bacon in the nude’ instead of ‘cannibalism’ I’ll be very sad.” –ginevra

“And being of the Afro-American persuasion, I’m actually relieved that Scaduto’s world is as white as the soles on Jerry Seinfeld’s sneakers. I wouldn’t want TDIET to be misinterpreted as Those People Will Do It Every Time, and That’s Why We Send Loopie to a Private School.” –HBGlord

“‘Unsinkable Mary Worth’? Perhaps. ‘Unburntodeathinafireyplanecrashable Mary Worth’? Perhaps not.” –Citric

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Folks, we’re all going to have a lot of Foobish anger to work out this weekend. I hereby provide this post as a discussion thread for you to do it on. To start things off, faithful reader Wille Thompson offers the following discussion points for Paul’s future romantic prospects.

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B.C., 1/12/07

I … I thought B.C. was funny today, kinda. It made me laugh.

I’m sorry. I’ll try to do better in the future.

Judge Parker, 1/12/07

So in between the “Randy Parker gay election smear” storyline and the “Abbey attempts to stop Neddy from going wild in Paris” storyline, Judge Parker’s been giving us little glimpses of this “Old biddy’s butler is sick so she hires a temp butler” storyline, which, I think, hooks up with the others because the old biddy is in Paris and is somehow a relative of Abbey and/or Neddy and will be the sexy twosome’s hostess in the City of Light. Anyway, I’ve been pretty amused by the whole idea of a butler temp agency — believe me, having worked on and off as an office temp to make extra cash while I was in grad school, standing stone-faced at attention awaiting the orders of some septuagenarian aristocrat would probably be more enjoyable than, say, calling a list of phone numbers to make sure they were still fax lines and hearing that horrible SCREEEEEEE every time — but my amusement ground to a halt when I saw the horrifying, soulless visage of “Mr. Hart” in panel three. At best, he’s a cybernetic automaton, impersonating a human for some mysterious purpose; at worst, he’s a demon from below hell, sent to reap the souls of all concerned. Plus, he’s Canadian, so: super scary.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/12/07

Yeah, Niki, you did the “right thing” by calling June. That Elvis was probably going to take you for a “ride.” He’s one shady “character.” He probably … what? Oh, there’s someone here who wants to talk to you:

Margo! Do you kiss your comical immigrant mother with that mouth? I … I can’t control her, folks, I’m sorry.

They’ll Do It Every Time, 1/12/07

What it’s like to be me: I just spent ten minutes staring at this panel trying to figure out if this is the first ever black person in TDIET. Whatever the case, her butt is disproportionately and disturbingly large.

Pluggers, 1/12/07

Plugger refrigerators are full of sexual predators.