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Mother Goose and Grimm, 9/22/06

Grimm is about to euthanized.

Slylock Fox, 9/22/06

This adorable bunny is about to collapse from thirst and then be killed by a poisonous snake bite. Afterwards, its corpse will be eaten by vultures.

Mary Worth, 9/22/06

A drunken Aldo Kelrast has gone careening off an extremely ill-placed cliff. His body is about to be shattered, as is his bottle of liquor, which he seems to be desperately trying to protect.

Mark Trail, 9/22/06

Molly the bear and Andy the dog are about to either drown or tumble over a waterfall. Meanwhile, Hoyt demonstrates that he lacks the charisma necessary to hold an angry mob together for very long.

(Of course, we all know that Molly and Andy are going to be fine. It’s interesting to note that, as near as I can tell from people’s comments and my own reactions, Molly has engendered more of an emotional attachment among Mark Trail readers than any human character this strip has ever seen.)

B.C., 9/22/06

Clumsy Carp cannot afford the medicine upon which his life depends. The prehistoric caveman pharmacist looks on smugly.

(And wow, I never thought I’d be saying this about B.C., but: Hey, Pluggers! If you want to make this joke, only actually kind of funny, this is the way to do it.)

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A lot of people want to know: “Josh, what can I do to show my total dedication to the Comics Curmudgeon site and all it stands for?” Well, you can make like faithful reader/commentator the Angry Black Woman. As if it weren’t enough that she purchased both an Aldomania t-shirt and a Margo Warhol t-shirt, she also took seven tries to get her bottle of Aldo-style booze at the perfect angle.

“Now that I have my Aldomania and Finger Quotin’ Margo shirts I can look down at my chest and remember the things that make me smile: your site and my breasts,” she says.

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Luann, 9/21/06

How much of a loser is Brad DeGroot? Well, I think it’s safe to say that he doesn’t exactly have a strong internal sense of interior design, so his enthusiasm for the house must be based entirely on its present decor. And since this has been Mrs. Horner’s house for about ever, we can assume that it’s done up more or less like a home in a TDIET panel. (And let’s say nothing of the old lady smell.) This, then, is Brad’s dream crib. “Oh, the textured olive-green rug in the living room really goes nicely with the matching green glass chandelier, and … ooh, look! Hummels!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/21/06

Boy, I’m beginning to see why Rex might want to find comfort in the arms of another. Hmmm, you were held hostage at gunpoint for the better part of an afternoon? BORRR-ing! But wait! I have to make a few phone calls to my credit card companies? DAMN YOU, MYSTERIOUS PURSE-SNATCHER! DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL! June’s so angry she appears to be transforming into a Bratz™ doll in panel three.

So, where do you all think the Rex Morganians are going with this? My guess: Identity theft! Proving once and for all that June Morgan is no plugger.

Marmaduke, 9/21/06

I couldn’t tell you why, exactly, but this image is for me by far the most unsettling one in the comics today. I suppose that’s supposed to be a trap door (that Marmadue opened from the inside?) but to me it looks like an arbitrary chunk of ceiling that’s been mysteriously removed so that the sinister Great Dane can just stare down at his owners with his huge, soulless eyes.