Post Content

For Better Or For Worse, 7/27/05

(Once again, not gonna piss off Mt. Foob by posting the strip here. No, sir. Read it here.)

So let’s take stock of feminism north of the border, shall we? Remember, a woman can do anything a man can do! Operate heavy machinery or what have you! And if you try to tell ’em otherwise, why, you’re nothing but an boorish jerk with a receding hairline and a misshapen skull and a … a … weird little … thing in the middle of your forehead! Yeah! Jerk!

This only applies, of course, to women who haven’t had kids. Once you’ve had a baby, of course, your job is to stay home and raise ’em. Yup, that’s what’s in your future till they can take care of themselves! What’s that? You say that you’re committed to your career and that your husband is perfectly willing to take over the childcare duties? You think that sounds like an equitable arrangement? Wrong! The gods of narrative will make sure that you come across as an emasculating wench, you … you … francophone!

Meanwhile, let’s see the proof that spider-sense doesn’t make for good financial sense.

Spider-Man, 7/27/05

Yeah, because the last thing I’d want if I had a high-stress job, time-consuming job that paid exactly nothing — like, say, being a superhero — would be for my wife to suddenly become extraordinarily wealthy. I mean, dude, you can climb up walls and what not, and now you’re feeling inadequate because you make less than your woman? I would definitely like to sign up for this sort of marital problem. I’m sure I’ll feel a twinge of discomfort, just before I dive head first into my Scrooge McDuck-style swimming pool of money that I didn’t have to work for.

Post Content

B.C., 7/26/05

Here’s what the future Mrs. C. had to say about today’s B.C.:

“Some comics make you laugh, some make you think. Unfortunately, this one does neither.”

Actually, though, this strip did make me think, specifically about what ol’ Johnny’s smoking, what with his legs-protuding-out-of-the-armipits fish there. Because you know that the idea of some sort of fish that could, in defiance of God’s law, go up on land is totally removed from reality.

Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/25/05

Dr. Hamilton is, of course, a man of science, so when he expresses combined-bold-and-italics-level shock at the notion that Buck was sired by a human male in the usual way, I assume it’s because he had already settled on an alternative explanation for the young man’s existence. Here are some potential theories:

• He was brewed up in a lab by a secretive clan of scientists looking to create the ultimate, fearless manifestation of modern man in all his wonderful and terrible glory.
• He was shot forth self-living out of the bosom of the Earth, perfectly formed, with a day’s growth of beard and every sexy blond hair out of place just so.
• He arrived from outer space in a glowing disk of light, with so much to teach us about our place in the universe … and about each other.
• He was born of a virgin, and was beaten within an inch of his life with a fence post for our sins.
• He just showed up one day on the outskirts of town, hitching a ride in on an old pick-up truck. We never did catch where he came from, but things sure are less exciting around here now that he’s gone.

With such lofty ideas in mind, I can understand that it must come as a shock and disappointment to Dr. Hamilton to learn that Buck’s genesis came about in the usual way. Especially when he got a load of the combover on one half of that genesis.