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Mary Worth, 8/2/22

I have to admit that I have no idea how we’re supposed to understand the flow of time in Mary Worth; for instance, early in this Jared-Dawn arc, they mentioned that our star-crossed couple had been “friends” for “years” before eventually submitting to one another’s gross lusts, and while it’s true that Jared was first introduced to us in a storyline from 2017, everyone seems more or less the same age in-strip as they were then so I had figured internally that was supposed to be six months ago, tops. Anyway, my point is that it’s also not clear how long ago Wilbur’s private island adventure/death fakeroo was supposed to be, so I’m not sure if Estelle demanded “another break” because of that whole scene or if Wilbur managed to do something even more hilariously infuriating since.

Judge Parker, 8/2/22

Sorry, we know this is a strip where most things are established by dialogue, but Abbey’s not in a talking mood right now, so no talking, OK? It would probably help the story along if there were action of some sort that could substitute for the talking, but I think it’s probably not a big surprise to anyone that that isn’t happening either.

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Mary Worth, 8/1/22

Oh hell yes, while Jared is off getting weaksauce advice from Mary, Dawn has decided to instead turn to the #1 relationship expert in her life: her father, a guy who alienated every single woman he knows by letting them mourn his death while he partied on a private island. It’s great she’s pumping him full of her patented superspicy chili first, as Wilbur’s emotional intelligence really hits its peak when he’s ripping a bunch of nasty farts.

Beetle Bailey, 8/1/22

Beetle Bailey characters usually aren’t what I’d call “expressive” but I do actually enjoy Sarge’s face here in the second panel. “Hmm,” he thinks, “that is an unusually large amount of sweat. Could be from some kind of medical condition. Maybe they should get that checked out!”

Daddy Daze, 8/1/22

The overarching theme of Daddy Daze is, of course, that the Daddy Daze daddy is constantly on the verge of unravelling mentally, but it’s important to keep in mind that he’s in constant physical pain as well.

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Hi and Lois, 7/31/22

OK, guys, I’m about to go all Pluggers here, but do you (for values of “you” that are as old as I am or older) remember those ads for Heinz gravy that had a tagline about how it was just like homemade, but with “no lumps”? I never understood that line as a kid, but I guess the point is that was as tasty as homemade but, since it had been produced in a gleaming factory rather than by a person in their kitchen like in olden times, it was free of any imperfections, a fully liquid nutritive slurry that slides down your gullet with ease. Anyway, based on Trixie’s line, I … guess this is kind of the joke here? “Ha ha, it’s just like a classic experience you thought you were going to have, but without an annoying part,” except the innovation here is not the industrial production of processed foods but rather the picnic table? It’s either that or we’re supposed to laugh about how Dot thought they were going to eat a picnic and then Lois felt a need to explain how they’re actually just eating at a table in their own backyard for four panels, which is kind of funny, but not “ha ha” funny.

Marvin, 7/31/22

Say what you will about Marvin, but there’s no question about what the joke is today: the joke is that Marvin is going to eat a truly bizarre and disgusting collection of food, and then, in a few hours, he’s going to expel the waste products from that food into his diaper and it will be both more disgusting than how it went in and more disgusting than his usual poops. That’s the joke! The joke is about his nasty shits. Thanks for “yuck”ing it up with Marvin for the past 40 years! (“Yuck” is a joke there because it’s used as a synonym for laughing but also is a noise you make when you experience visceral disgust; as long as you do one of those things, this strip has succeeded.)