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Blondie, 9/18/21

A strip like Blondie exists in a sort of eternal present, its world changing almost imperceptibly slowly over time to stay vaguely contemporary, so it doesn’t really have any fixed “lore” per se. But still, I feel like we’re getting a lot of information here that has no foundation in previous strips. Alexander is a musician? Alexander has friends? The Bumsteads have a vast empty room adjacent to their living room that can be turned into an impromptu stage for Alexander and the friends he seems to have suddenly acquired? At least this all is in the service of a really solid joke, about Alexander’s band playing a tribute (???) to concert crowds everywhere (????) although not here because they’re just playing in the Bumsteads’ house, for his parents. This punchline is both conceptually airtight and very funny, and I enjoyed it a lot.

Pluggers, 9/18/21

You may be a plugger if you’re still wearing clip-on ties. May! We’re not really sure. Despite this strip being named Pluggers, we’ve kind of lost the thread on what pluggers’ whole deal is and we don’t want to say anything we can’t take back. Will this offend pluggers? Non-pluggers? Clip-on tie wearers? Clip-on tie shunners? People who used to wear clip-on ties but stopped for some reason? Please don’t get mad at us!

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Roll on into the weekend with your hilarious comment of the week!

“As usual, the best part of this gag is the lengths that Leroy has gone to make it work. Not only did he get some of his high school buddies over (or hired some people, more likely), not only did he managed to track down instruments and (fitting!) uniforms, but look at that garage: spotless. I’m guessing that Loretta has been nagging him for years to clean it out, but he was only motivated to do it when he realized that any clutter in the background might lessen the impact of him announcing that he’s found another way to be a big loud asshole.” –pugfuggly

These hilarious runners up will also “get the party started,” as I believe the kids still say!

“There is no world building in the Lockhorns. Rather, Leroy and Loretta are god-like creatures that can will people, places, and entire timelines into and out of existence for the sole purpose of annoying each other. Sometimes they use only their wit, in which case we see them against the tabula rasa of a formless void, otherwise they summon whatever they need to bring anguish to the other. This isn’t mere bickering; it’s a magical duel between two sociopathic gods.” –richard8

“Can you imagine pushing out that Daddy Daze kid? His head is some kind of non-Euclidian rectangle. Just sharp edges and volume. I guarantee that was a Cesarean.” –Jerp+Jump

“Pa Keane, you’re adding jelly to bacon and eggs. You aren’t in a position to complain about anything related to food here.” –Truckosaurus

“As much as I usually enjoy Rex coming out of the gate with a strong passive-aggressive flex before the coffee is even cold, I sympathize with June here. I’m sure ‘managing’ the online schoolwork of a child who has a famous children’s author begging for permission to plagiarize her work — a child already smarter than both of her parents and knows it — isn’t easy on a psyche as fragile from years of emotional abuse as June’s. Time and a place, Rex. Time and a place.” –Doctor Moreau

“For the birds of Shoe, a cat scan is when a cat looks at you and tries to work out if you’re weak enough to chase, catch and eat yet.” –Schroduck

“Dennis’ comment raises more questions that it should for someone his age. I mean, query how many ‘jazz lovers‘ Dennis knows, how many were open-minded enough to accept his musical ideas and how many have been merely bored with his output, leaving it to Mr. Wilson to actively disapprove. Dennis apparently has more background on this issue than anyone his age possibly could which in and of itself is pretty menacing.” –Deacon Blues

“I think I like this remake of La La Land even less than the original.” –TheDiva

“The woodland creatures are so traumatized by Slylock Fox’s investigations and deductions that they prefer just to plead guilty.” –Ettorre

“Are we seriously rerunning the ‘A dog helps an unlikable man get laid’ storyline but with a cat and Wilbur? Why can’t it be the ‘Aldo stalks Mary and drives off a cliff’ storyline but with a cat and Wilbur?” –Carsick Yankee

“It’s hard to be happy lately. There’s my breakup with Estelle, you know, due to me being a hateful crybaby piece of shit. And all my troubles with Iris. Sometimes it stemmed from me being a miserable fuck, sometimes a belligerent jerk; at times a shitty malcontent or insensitive twat or bitter SOB or angry drunken lout. Why is it so hard for me to find happiness?” –Violet

“Really excited to discover that the Milford High students have lapsed into a pre-Levitican form of worship, and are passing themselves through the fire as an offering to Molech. Looking forward to the fall plot where they set up Asherah poles in the high places! Will an eager young freshman challenge a senior to a contest of gods, and demand that next year’s bonfire be lit without human agency? What a time to be alive!” –fabiansociety, on Twitter

“Back in 1918, the title Gasoline Alley referred to the fact that the strip’s main characters shared their stories about automobiles. Today, the title suggests that the author is someone who huffs gasoline in an alley.” –Joe Blevins

“If the talking bear is God, that could make the theology of Gasoline Alley rather interesting. Jesus spoke to the crowd, and said unto them, ‘Woe to the one among you who has been sitting on my chair, and dining on my porridge, and sleeping in my bed.’” –Austria

“Everyone knows armadillos are an amazing lay, buddy — but they carry leprosy, which makes herpes look like a walk in the park.” –Old School Allie Cat

“Jeffy hasn’t got a chance. It’s not just that he’s too small; he also has arms that are so short he can’t reach the top of his head. None of these brats can. Why else would Dolly be stuck wearing that super-tight ponytail 24/7?” –made of wince

“There’s no way Jeffy is going to be able to climb out of the infinite blue void that surrounds the Keane Kompound. Prepare to meet Ahriman, little boy!” –But What Do I Know?

“lol, Chip’s friend is genuinely hurt. Friggin’ owned by a ten-year-old. Good luck with your band, maybe the first album cover can be a photo of Ditto on a date with your mom.” –Dan

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Hi and Lois, 9/17/21

Do teen boys still, in the year 2021, lie around their bedrooms, decorated with Stones and Led Zep posters, and talk about how bands today suck? I mean, they did when I was a teen in the ’90s, which was also decades after those bands had been relevant, so I don’t see why they wouldn’t now, but I admit that I don’t have any personal insight into the subject. I certainly hope little brothers of teen boys still lurk in the hallway outside their rooms, ready to strut in sassily with a perfect cutting sitcom-quality bon mot, because otherwise I will despair over the direction of today’s youth.

Family Circus, 9/17/21

Sure, you would think Big Daddy Keane would take this opportunity to unceremoniously plop his son on the other side of the fence and then power-walk away from his family forever, but I don’t think the desire to do that iss the emotion being conveyed by his facial expression here. It’s more a look of pure panic, as if he’d do anything to stop whatever sort of blubbering, weeping noise Jeffy is making, which should give all of us pause about whatever sort of blubbering, weeping noise Jeffy is capable of making.

Pardon My Planet, 9/17/21

I don’t really talk about Pardon My Planet very much, but on a day where one of its interchangeable characters spins an erotic description of a very fuckable armadillo, could I really ignore it? I mean, I probably could, most days, but the comics fodder is a little thin today. I just wrung a paragraph out of Jeffy crying, for pete’s sake. Anyway, like I said, this guy wants to fuck an armadillo, but what’s really sad is that he’s ashamed of it so he tries to project conventional feminine attributes onto the poor fantasy beast as if that places his desires within the bounds of traditional heteronormativity, when in fact it just makes it all much, much worse.