Post Content

Mary Worth, 3/5/21

Good news, everyone! Max got scared in a thunderstorm and ran away but Saul and Eve went to look for him and found him more or less immediately, with no real drama of any kind. They only got slightly rained on for their troub[squints at panel] ah, actually, they remained dry and comfortable throughout the ordeal as well. The overall lesson of this storyline is that dogs are good, and also pretty easy to find.

Family Circus, 3/5/21

Though cruelly slamming on the Family Circus is one of the oldest traditions of online comics-mocking, predating even this blog, you have to give the strip credit where it’s due, especially when it comes to “can you believe this fucking shit” facial expressions from the Keane parents. Thel is sporting a doozy today, and with very good reason! I myself am having a hard time believing this fucking shit.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/5/21

“You mean which superhero do I most want to have sex with, right? It’s Wonder Wo– [sees wife coming] I mean, Superman. I want to have sex with Superman. Whew, dodged a bullet there.”

Post Content

The Lockhorns, 3/4/21

Man, I genuinely want to know what Leroy is up to on social media. Like, I started writing that sentence as a bit, but now I’m imagining all sorts of possibilities. Is he posting an ill-informed comment on his favorite sports blog? Letting loose a terrible political opinion on Twitter? Going through the entire Instagram feed of a statuesque blonde he met at a party and liking each of her selfies one by one? Uploading a compilation of Loretta’s funniest nags to TikTok? You can tell by his facial expression that he’s extremely pleased with himself, so you know it’s pretty bad.

Crankshaft, 3/4/21

Ha ha, turns out “church organist drops dead mid-service” wasn’t just a funny joke I made earlier this week but a real plot development in a newspaper comic strip, an artistic medium for children (?). Anyway, say what you will about Crankshaft, but unlike certain Funkyverse strips, it’s not sentimental about the dead, you know? That lady’s body isn’t even cold and they’re already browbeating Lillian into being her replacement!

Funky Winkerbean, 3/4/21

LADY NONE OF THESE REFERENCES ARE PARTICULARLY OBSCURE, PLUS HE’S SAYING THE ACTUAL TITLES AND EVERYTHING

LIKE WHAT DO YOU THINK “GETTING” A REFERENCE MEANS

KNOCK IT OFF

Post Content

Gasoline Alley, 3/3/21

I am at this point very obviously committed to my specific bit, which is that I comment on every day’s comics right after I read them, having no idea what the future holds for that strip, in order to replicate this website’s origin story, which is that I would make jokes about the comics to my wife every morning over breakfast until she told me to make a blog about it. But sometimes doing things that way means I miss slow-burn developments in the comics. Like, take for instance, Gasoline Alley. Today’s strip involves a man returning a pair of glasses to a woman after they accidentally fell into his shopping basket at the supermarket. Ah, you’re probably thinking, this is the beginning of a romantic meet-cute! In fact, this is latest “twist” in grueling storyline about this lady losing her glasses while shopping that’s been going on for three weeks, and in a sense I’m sorry I haven’t been bringing it to you blow by wildly undramatic blow. Go back and read the last month or so, if you think your heart can handle it!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/3/21

Wow, looks like Rex is going to have to add another entry to his list of “Seemingly anodyne phrases meant that are meant just to fill time but actually end up unpleasantly extending a conversation.” This one is going to result in him having to talk to a second person, so it gets a little red star next to it.

Dennis the Menace, 3/3/21

I’m a big fan of Mr. Wilson’s completely gobsmacked facial expression here. “Did he just try to eat that coin? Is he that stupid? Is my nemesis that stupid? And what does that say about me?”

Funky Winkerbean, 3/3/21

Les isn’t just history’s greatest caregiver; he also watches sports in the correct way, for virtuous reasons, unlike you, you filthy, depraved animal.