Metapost: Comments? Of the week? U know it
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Did somebody say … comment of the week? Here’s your comment of the week, everybody!
“I thought plugger Netflix was driving by the old, closed-down Blockbuster and sighing.” –JJ48
And here are your very funny runners up!
“The old ‘I suspect he’s an android so I’ll have to obsessively observe him using the toilet’ ploy.” –nescio
“I just don’t think this La La Land sequel has the magic of the original.” –Schroduck
“A kid who owns a toy drum and bugle would know perfectly well what Dixieland jazz sounds like — and Dennis would take this situation as a clear sign that he needs to step things up a notch. ‘You don’t play music that annoys me, old man,’ is what he’d say before beginning an atonal, experimental number by Ornette Coleman, ‘I play music that annoys you!’” –BigTed
“Hon, would you pass the syrup? By the way, are you scared shitless of snakes? I know this may not be the best of things to bring up over flapjacks, but I just got thru reading Riki Tiki Tavi by Rudyard Kipling, and there’s a scene in it where a cobra attacks a family at breakfast! Fascinating, huh? I mean, who names a kid Rudyard?” –willethompson
“Most depictions of Cleopatra VII omit the fact that she was married to her brothers and incest was the rule of the Ptolemaic family. This is probably less taboo after the Animalapocalypse, since inbreeding would be necessary to keep the pedigree pure and the distinctive features of the breed prominent. Haven’t you noticed how Slylock refuses the seduction of Cassandra Cat since she’s from another species, while the girlfriends of Slylock and Max look EXACTLY like them?” –Ettore
“This Funky Winkerbean looks like it takes place in a nightmarish alternate universe where everyone is the love child of Jack Webb and Harry Morgan from Dragnet 1967.” –Joe Blevins
“Kinda have to respect how Mark Trail commits to the pre-renaissance style of art depicting children as ugly, smaller forms of adults.” –Joe
“No, Mary, that’s not what it sounds like. It sounds like Iris is introducing a new series. ‘Brandy’s a good influence! Tommy’s determined to stay clean and sober! Together, they’re … The Uninteresting Duo!’” –Peanut Gallery
“Seat belt? I call bullshit.” –The Modesto Kid, on Twitter
“‘Driving up I-75‘ is the perfect euphemism for sex in Westview: it’s mind-numbingly tedious with a few rest stops. And the view never changes.” –But What Do I Know?
“The best thing about this cartoon is that Mr. Wilson has the time to rattle off a well-thought-out statement expressing how much he loathes Dennis instead of spending the amount of time you’d expect him to on processing questions about Dennis’s contraption. Most of us would start with, ‘How does he steer that thing?’ ‘What’s holding the chair legs in place?’ ‘How could he possible appear so relaxed while rolling down the sidewalk with no benefits of a steering mechanism?’ Even Mrs. Wilson views this as a minor curiosity, and nothing to panic about. I just wish we could see the follow-up panels where we see how badly Dennis crashes.” –Larry McAwful
“Since this is the Batuikverse I presume ‘fail‘ is a euphemism for massive coronary.” –Zerowolf
“Sometimes a kid gets on a roll! Around here we call that a kid hoagie, but down South it’s a po’ boy!” –Uncle Lumpy
“The New York Times: ‘All The News That’s Fit To Print’ The Chicago Tribune: ‘The World’s Greatest Newspaper’ Obits: ‘If You Can Read This, You’re Not Dead Yet’” –Red Greenback
“Oxpeckers, once thought to benefit their host animals by eating parasites, are now thought to open wounds on their back in order to attract ticks, which they only eat once the ticks have fed and eating them does the host no good. Which honestly seems like the sort of epiphany a hippo psychiatrist would be trying to elicit.” –matt w
“I’m pretty sure these TSA agents could all lose their jobs for detaining a child on the charge of ‘attempted terrorist-liking,’ but if that lady cop on the right discovers Hel’s 15 paragraph text on her phone, then at least they’ll be able to send her to Gitmo for flagrant violation of messaging etiquette.” –jroggs
“I haven’t been to Portland — is the Fathomless Blue Void worth the trip, or is it just another tourist trap?” –TheDiva
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