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Oh, is it time for the comment of the week? Hell yeah it is you know it!!!!

“‘National Conga Line at Work Day‘ would never work in the Blondie universe for a very simple reason: wildly dissimilar torsos.” –Joe Blevins

Runners up: Also very funny and we love them!!!!!!!!!

“If there were actually such a thing as online ‘pizza poker,’ Dagwood would be so deeply in debt to some company in Malta that he wouldn’t even think of goofing off at work.” –BigTed

“Mary is so amazed at her tiny act of generosity that she’s not even bothering to talk to any of these people buying her muffins. She’s just smiling beatifically at nothing as she exchanges muffin sacks for cash. Is she posing for her own stained glass portrait?” –jroggs

What exactly is your relationship with Harlan? I thought art in Italy was a father-daughter thing… I mean, I know I haven’t been around much, but isn’t getting a new father a bit extreme?” –katakana haru, on Twitter

“‘What exactly is your relationship with Harlan?‘ ‘Jeez, Dad, don’t you think the hood I’m packing is a dead giveaway? Anyway, would you pass me those handcuffs?’” –Lawyerbob

“‘Like I told Mary, it’s not physical, it’s mental and emotional… and dare I say spiritual?’ ‘Okay, this somehow seems less appropriate to tell your dad than ‘We’re fucking’” –Dan

“I have to admit that I do like the artistic decision to draw actual eyes on the snakes in Snuffy Smith while everyone else simply has dots. They honestly do have the prettiest eyes in attendance.” –Mike Podgor

“‘We’re totally just friends!’ said Dawn, as she packed a pair of sneakers, a t-shirt and a swimsuit for her 3-month stay in Italy.” –pugfuggly

“At Santa Royale-Kaplan University, we avoid those messy ‘quarters’ and ‘semesters,’ and just teach whenever it fits your schedule. Only available for study abroad during March-June? Let’s go to Italy! Our trained professors will show you the sights during the day, and engage in inappropriate behavior during the nights! Don’t forget to take your dad’s walking shoes!” –Little Blue Bicycle

“The crotchety old second-waver in me likes this strip, for I harken back to the days of watching my scantily clad celebrity sisters fawn sexily over Spuds MacKenzie and thinking, ‘Just exactly how much of this Bud Light do I have to consume before a dog starts to look like a viable sexual partner to me, anyway?’ Whatever the answer is, it is obviously more than the amount that a pre-pubescent male has to imbibe before he views a snake in the same light, and I take a modicum of grim satisfaction from the female superiority that is implied. Here in the age of #MoyToo we must take our cultural reassurances where we can.” –Hopester

“‘Finally,’ thought Mark, ‘my chance to elevate the literary status of Woods & Wildlife Magazine has come as I get the opportunity to write a tribute to Orwell, Punching An Elephant.’” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“When will people learn not to open those cans of crescent roll dough while driving? If only Ghost Pepper could have waited until after he had dragged Dick Tracy down the road like a meat crayon to enjoy the yeasty raw treat, he might still be alive. Damn you, Poppin’ Fresh!” –Voshkod

“As Ghost Pepper is rushed to the nearest hospital for emergency surgery, the doctor comes in and exclaims ‘I can’t operate on this boy.’ ‘Why not?’ the nurse asks. ‘Because he’s my son,’ Dr. Pepper responds.” –Dread

I had my time traveling. I went into the future and got this nifty bionic tentacle arm! Now it’s your turn.” –Peanut Gallery

“I want to know why Ghost Pepper is looking at his phone while thinking he just has to make it to the next switchback. Did he call for an Uber and it’s almost arrived?” –Dmsilev

That turtle is taking the most satisfying dump in the history of turtles. That it is in Billy’s hands makes it sweeter.” –Kevin On Earth

“As any teen in 2018 knows, if you want to enact real change, you do it through the radio.” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

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Family Circus, 3/16/18

God damn that is one smug looking turtle, you guys. It’s like he’s thinking to himself, “I might’ve been late getting on the ark, but at least I got there, if you follow me? Eh? Eh? Behemoth and leviathan? This guy knows what I’m talking about.”

Beetle Bailey, 3/16/18

I don’t know if that dagger is military issue or if it’s something Sarge ordered from some creepy-ass knife catalog like the ones my elderly neighbor got and used to show to me without me asking or indicating in any way that I wanted to see them, but I love the fact that he’s got what’s clearly meant to be a vicious weapon for close-in combat and using it for an act of joy, which is to say hewing off chunks of a giant sandwich that he’s gorging on continuously over a 24-hour period.

Gil Thorp, 3/16/18

Guys, guys

the social justice teens

are going to defeat Marty Moon

in the marketplace of ideas

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Mary Worth, 3/15/18

Oh, well, this is nice, Wilbur and Dawn are saying a heartfelt goodbye before she leaves on a three-month trip, and … WAIT A MINUTE, COMPUTER: ENHANCE

I guess that’s a coloring mishap that’s rendered Wilbur’s flesh a weird green color, and that that’s his wrist and hand bending around Dawn’s shoulder, but it sure looks like a ghastly tentacle is writhing out of Wilbur’s sleeve and wrapping around his daughter as he finally reveals his true form. He shouldn’t be alive, but he is, because he’s one of the ageless Old Ones whose human fleshsuit is starting to slough off!

Dick Tracy, 3/15/18

Ah, it looks like Ghost Pepper isn’t dead after all, and Dick is a little too confident of his ability to kill his enemies indirectly. Fortunately, there are lots of ways a man (a ghost? a ghost-man?) can die fleeing from trigger-happy cops down a snowy mountainside!

Family Circus, 3/15/18

You know how the Keane Kompound walls are generally vast, featureless voids? Well, Mommy has finally decided to do something about it! Too bad she waited until after the endless undifferentiated emptiness drove her insane.