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Crankshaft, 2/23/18

True ‘Shaft-heads remember one of the early heart-rending Crankshaft storylines, where we learned that Ed Crankshaft, who we had all assumed was just a grumpy old asshole who shouldn’t have a job working with children or indeed any part of the public, was actually a grumpy old asshole who also happened to be illiterate. But he heroically learned to read as an adult, which gives him license to harangue little kids like this one, who as near as we can tell is perfectly capable of reading written English but prefers not to read books or other printed matter as a leisure activity, which is not the same thing at all! Also instead of talking about the archaic sport of “baseball” he should probably talk about, I dunno, Mario Kart or something. What I’m trying to say is that Crankshaft might have learned, with great effort, to read, but he still hasn’t learned out to read the room, ha ha!

Dennis the Menace, 2/23/18

Word to the wise, Dennis: affecting a sort of aggressively ignorant contempt towards technology can convey a certain menacing vibe. Just admitting that you’re a straight-up moron very much does not.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/23/18

So … not great, then?

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Hi and Lois, 2/22/18

I’ve always understood the “mood” in “mood music” to be arousal, and that the point of “mood music” is to get one or more parties in the “mood” for sex. So I’m sad to report that Hi has so lost his sense of joie de vivre that he now needs musical assistance to follow through with one of his great joys in life: jerking off to Golf magazine and then falling asleep on the couch.

Mary Worth, 2/22/18

I guess we’re going to do this thing where Mary and Ted continue to talk as if they’re having a normal business conversation while Mary slowly but methodically shatters all the bones in his wrist, and I frankly am here for it!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/22/18

Literally this entire week of Rex Morgan, M.D., has been a bunch of teenagers talking about eating lunch, so you’d think by the time they finally got to the climactic panel where a teen bites into a sandwich, they’d be ready to make it look like a normal human would look biting into a fully edible sandwich made of normal sandwich materials. Turns out nope!

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Hey all! I’ve been tweaking my ad setup a bit and I wanted to draw your attention to a couple of ad slots that are available on the site. There’s a big 970 x 250 billboard that sits between the first two posts on the front page and above the title on an individual post page; and there’s a 300 x 600 skyscraper that sits in the left-hand nav bar. They’re both great formats for striking comics art, and both get you a text shout-out in the Comment of the Week metapost.

You might remember Brian Carroll’s Two Party Opera as one of our big advertisers from last year. After his run completed, he sent me this very nice note:

I just wanted to give you an update on the success of advertising Two Party Opera on your site. A couple months ago, I was approached by GoComics for digital syndication and the comic has been mirrored there for about a month now. The visibility and readership for the comic quintupled overnight and I suspect that none of that would have been possible without advertising on your site (as I’m sure GoComics keeps tabs on the comics you roast).

Anyway, while obviously past performance doesn’t guarantee future results, etc., it’s a sign of what can go right for you if you choose to showcase your comic on a site dedicated to comics. Or showcase anything else, if you want! I won’t turn down your money! To start the process, head over to my BuySellAds page.