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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/12/16

Sheriff Tait didn’t like crimes going unsolved in his community, but when he finally figured out that the serial killer who had been preying on the Holler for years was Silas, and that he had been butchering his victims and selling their flesh to the unsuspecting townfolk, he had to admit he got a certain grim satisfaction to ending the awful carnage.

Slylock Fox, 7/12/16

You’re right to be terrified, camper! You’ve come face to face with the rare and deadly Land Lobster!

Six Chix, 7/12/16

Today’s Six Chix would like to remind you that it’s never too late to lose your ability to feel enthusiasm or joy.

Blondie, 7/12/16

“You’re all fired!”

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Mary Worth, 7/5/16

This plot is just getting underway but Tommy the (ex-)Tweaker is really cementing his place as one of the Greatest Ancillary Mary Worth Characters of all time. There are a lot of ways this could go; I’m thinking that in Tommy’s role as the symbol of society’s ills, he’ll become addicted to opioid painkillers in the aftermath of this tragic moving accident. But for now, let’s just enjoy the sight of Tommy writhing theatrically while Mary and Iris shoot meaningful “Forget everything you saw here” glances at the poor groundskeeper.

Dennis the Menace, 7/5/16

Dennis seeing instruments that product sweet, sweet music and imagining them as machines for firing hot explosive metal death at terrified human beings? Menacing indeed.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/5/16

“Jughaid was jess’ jokin’,” Loweezy protested, as the townfolk descended on their house with torches. “He … we wuz jess’ talkin’ about sneezin’ and such!” But the rule was ironclad. If anyone in the community acquired the malady known only as “th’ sickness,” that family and their home must be cleansed with fire. They all moved grimly forward, but nobody said a word.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/12/16

Guys, I spent a lot more time than I’m comfortable with trying to figure out what exactly in God’s name is going on here. It took me a while to make the leap from the anti-union propaganda in the throwaway panels to the Clampetts, who I had forgotten were the titular oil-rich Beverly Hillbillies. While I’ve never actually seen an episode of the show (side note: there are 274 of them), I understand from the theme song lyrics that Jed Clampett became a petro-millionaire after he stumbled upon oil seeping out of the ground while he was “shootin’ at some food.” Snuffy and Lukey seem to be engaged in some cargo cult oil exploration, unaware that the mineral rights to everything under Hootin’ Holler were sold to a Halliburton subsidiary years ago.

Panels from Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/12/16

I take it back, OK? I take back what I said about the new writer stopping the nonstop flow of cash into the Morgans’ bank accounts/sock drawers/comical burlap sacks with dollar signs on the side of them. That kind of thing does happen (to the Morgans), and it’s going to keep on happening, forever.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 6/12/16

Check it out: Shady’s down there looking for his lost jewels without the fancy underwater breathing apparatus Slylock and Max have. That’s why he always stays one step ahead, even when they foil his plots: he works harder and does more with less. You’ll never take him alive, coppers! Probably because he’s about to drown.