Post Content

Judge Parker, 4/29/19

“The question is what will we do next?” briefly interested me, because often when one half of a couple abruptly quits their job, that results in hard financial choices that need to be made, especially when the other half of the couple is already retired and they’re both already rather, er, free-spending. But this, of course, is the Drivers we’re talking about, where fat royalties from Judge Parker Senior’s inexplicably universally beloved book and the occasional slot machine jackpot supplement Judge Parker Senior’s comfortable pension from whatever level of the judiciary system he worked in, which in turn is just icing on the cake of what I feel I’m safe in assuming is his substantial generational wealth. So don’t worry, Alan will never have to give up his absolutely enormous home office desk or his scowling Lincoln bust or any of that, and instead this tense discussion is about how the Parkers did bad things and now they might have to suffer some kind of consequences for it (SPOILER: they won’t).

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/29/19

The sad thing here is not that Snuffy has decided unilaterally that it’s Loweezy’s turn to sacrifice some of her dinner to feed the dog; no, it’s that she’s got practically a full plate of food in front of her and he’s putting on his hat to head out for the night. Presumably he wolfed down his food while she was still tidying up after cooking for him, and now he’s going to go steal chickens or cheat at cards or whatever it is he does for fun. At least she still has Ol’ Bullet for company!

Post Content

Mary Worth, 4/28/19

Havin failed to convince Estelle with some random article she found on her phone, Mary’s been forced to break out the big guns: Saint Paul, Apostle to the Gentiles, and four-time NBA champion Earl “The Pearl” Monroe.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/28/19

The poker players are all shocked because they know that sawmill’s been closed down for years. After years of reading this strip, I refuse to believe there’s any large employer within sleepwalking distance of Hootin’ Holler.

Post Content

Six Chix, 4/15/19

Happy Tax Day, everybody! Six Chix is here to remind you that even beloved cultural icons like the Easter Bunny — seen here with a stack of W-9s, 1099s, and 1040 Schedule Cs, denoting his freelancer status — currently live in the precarious world of the gig economy, where traditional labor protections cannot reach.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/15/19

I was going to do a bit about Hootin’ Holler’s place in a sad, post-apocalyptic universe, based on the local post office’s affiliation with the “Newnited States,” but then I remembered that I already did that back in 2010, so instead I’ll just point out that the IRS considers income from barter and criminal activity to be taxable, so maybe Snuffy shouldn’t be quite so relaxed.

Crock, 4/15/19

Speaking of repeated jokes, I was about to say that I was willing to put aside my feud with Crock and admit that I found this strip unironically funny, but then I remembered I did the same thing when it ran last May. I guess I’ve just validated Crock’s decision to run the few funny strips in its vast archives every eleven months or so, because people will enjoy them and probably won’t remember that they’re repeats unless they really dedicate some thought to it.

Gil Thorp, 4/15/19

Oh, I guess this Gil Thorp plotline is about how student-athletes should stay well-rounded and have outside hobbies, like knitting or blogging. Girl student-athletes, I should specify; obviously boy student-athletes need to dedicate all their energy into Mudlark athletics in a desperate attempt to be in the tiny percentage of high school students recruited into elite collegiate athletic programs, so they can dedicate all their energy during college into sports so they can be in the tiny percentage of elite college athletes who end up in the pros.

Mary Worth, 4/15/19

I like Toby’s big smile as she announces to Mary that “poems can be cribbed off the Internet,” like she’s figured out how to beat Big MFA at their own game. She can’t tell Ian, of course, as it would make him realize his whole career path of sharing the wonders of literature with undergrads is a sham, but she’s gotta tell someone.