Archive: Crankshaft

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Panels from Crankshaft, 4/19/20

“I’m that bus driver with the awful accident record they keep doing the I-team reports about. I’ve killed dozens of children! I’m widely loathed!”

Panel from Slylock Fox, 4/19/20

Hey, Slylock, I’m pretty sure you’ve never pushed an egg through your cloaca but if you did and you knew there was a place where they were giving out the good painkillers, you’d probably want to be there too, you know?

Mark Trail 4/19/20

“OH SAY KIDS DID YOU EVER WANT TO HURT OR KILL SOMEONE … WITH A PLANT? HERE’S A BUNCH OF PLANTS THAT ARE POISONOUS! I’M NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD, I’M JUST SAYING … HERE THEY ARE”

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/15/20

You know, in the literal century this strip has been in newspapers, it’s been easy to sometimes lose track of what it’s really about, the true meaning of Snuffy Smith, if you will. Sure, most people probably think of it as a vehicle for increasingly baroque FDR-era hillbilly jokes, playing on stereotypes and a visual vocabulary that literally nobody alive today has any first-hand experience with. But today, on Tax Day (observed), Snuffy reminds you of what he’s really all about: he does not pay taxes, and if you know anything about him, that’s what you should know. It’s not like he has some elaborate political theory about being a sovereign citizen or the U.S. government being illegitimate or anything that; he just don’t truck with the revenooers. Screw you, Commissioner of Internal Revenue Charles P. Rettig! Snuffy isn’t paying you shit!

Crankshaft, 4/15/20

Hey. Hey there, comics fans. I know what you’ve been thinking about but are too shy to ask: “How have Ed Crankshaft’s poops been lately?” Well, the answer is regular, real smooth and regular. Also, he doesn’t have any clue about anything that’s been going on in the world, and honestly, I think that’s a perfectly valid trade-off.

Family Circus, 4/15/20

Speaking of poops and things going on in the world, I have no idea if this one was pulled from the Big Family Circus Vault because of its resonance with our modern TP-hoarding crisis or what, but this is definitely the sort of thing that could get a unloved red-headed middle child “volunteered” to a lab as a human guinea pig for testing coronavirus vaccines, just saying.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/27/20

My Uncle Bob is a bassist who currently plays in a blues band called Bottleneck Bob, but back in the late ’70s and early ’80s he was part of a New York new wave band with Demi Moore’s first husband called the Dates that played at CBGB a few times. Anyway, once in the late ’80s, after he had moved to San Francisco, we were visiting him and watching MTV and I declared that songs with drum machines “didn’t have any soul,” expecting it would be the sort of musical sentiment he would agree with, and he replied, “One thing about a drum machine is that it never misses rehearsal because it’s hungover.” What I’m trying to say is that I’m honestly impressed by how Rex Morgan, M.D.’s country roots country guitarist has found the least edgy reason to be glad to be rid of his drummer that I can possibly imagine.

Crankshaft, 3/27/20

Wow, this whole Crankshaft arc has been a real paean to the importance of the traditional media: That podcaster just asked Lillian a bunch of softball questions, while NPR’s hard-hitting reporter has immediately realized that Lillian is in fact the person who murdered all those people who came into her bookstore.

Hi and Lois, 3/27/20

Boy, this comic sure makes Dot and Ditto look like real pieces of shit who don’t care about their father’s love, doesn’t it?