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Archive: Dennis the Menace

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Yes, an Escalade, theme park execs make HUGE salaries

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Mark Trail, 7/8/17

Oh, huh, I’m actually a little disappointed that Lesley’s fancy Escalade was only bashed into rubble by a she-walrus in paroxysms of panic and labor pain. My true hope was that the upholstery had been ruined by massive amounts of walrus placenta. I’m not a biologist, but I assume walrus afterbirth smells extremely bad.

Dennis the Menace, 7/8/17

This panel elicited a genuine laugh from me, because “we took our car for a boat ride!” is exactly the sort of entirely banal incident that would nevertheless completely blow Joey’s feeble mind.

Gasoline Alley, 7/8/17

I have absolutely zero interest in explaining whatever the hell it is that’s happening in Gasoline Alley right now. I just wanted to share the final panel with you, in which a leering, bearded, one-eyed (?) man announces to no one in particular that fish “will be even better tastin’ in my mouth!” HAPPY WEEKEND EVERYBODY

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Friday one-liners

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Crock, 7/7/17

If you’re interested in a comic strip with jokes about working in a diner and navel rings, written by someone who only has a passing familiarity with how restaurant staffing, salad preparation, and navel rings work, then today’s Crock is for you, my friend!

Dennis the Menace, 7/7/17

Nice to see that the Mitchells are continuing to enjoy their psychosexual beach vacation!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/7/17

Welp, looks like Rex Morgan has wrapped up its thrilling “some teens are gay!” adventure and is ready to embark on a brand new thrilling “the Internet is a great way to reconnect with long-lost friends!” adventure.

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Wednesday quickies

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Blondie, 7/5/17

For everyone who’s ever wanted a comic panel of an electronics salesman contemplating whether his parents were overseas when they fucked him into existence: today’s Blondie is for you!

Dennis the Menace, 7/5/17

I’m not sure what’s a bigger menace to the patriarchy: Dennis in his childlike innocence wondering aloud about sartorial double standards, or Alice’s unabashed usurpation of the male gaze as a sexy surfer catches her eye.

Shoe, 7/5/17

I may not think much of the jokes in Shoe, but I have to give the strip credit: at least the characters always look like they want to kill themselves as they deliver them!