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Dick Tracy, 1/19/23

Hey, remember “Wunbrow,” Dick Tracy’s pal with only one [eye]brow? He showed up in 1958 as a Tracy ally and agent of Batista’s dictatorship, and then, proving his ideological malleability, reappeared in 2016 as a Tracy ally and agent of Castro’s dictatorship, and now he’s a Tracy ally and agent of … the municipal government of Panama City, Florida? Anyhoo, he’s summoning Dick down to his new semi-tropical home because that’s where Kriptonite/Kyptonite murdered the art forger guy, with a speargun. “Don’t let them embalm the corpse!” says Dick, who can’t get off if he doesn’t get to smell rotting human flesh at least once a month.

Pluggers, 1/19/23

Look, it’s possible that a plugger might own a motorcycle, but nobody thinks that a plugger would own a set. They’re quite expensive and honestly that sort of ostentation is not pluggerish at all. I feel like these panels should at least present us with plugger descriptions that are slightly surprising, or give us some vague insight into the plugger lifestyle that we didn’t previously have. Pluggers aren’t going to go out and buy a matching pair of helicopters either, but I’m sure we can all agree that we don’t need that explained to us.

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Dustin, 1/9/23

Dustin is still doing the “Dustin’s dad wants to do pole vaulting” “plot,” for a second week, which I’m reasonably sure is the longest I’ve ever seen it do a “plot,” and I feel like the way Dustin’s mom is reacting is kind of the key to why I hate this strip so much. Ever since she found out that Dustin’s dad wants do this, she’s been in a simmering fury, which I assume we’re supposed to understand is because, deep down, she loves her husband and is scared of him acting self-destructively, but we (and, presumably, her husband) never hear the “she loves her husband” part and instead she’s just immediately gone from zero to “HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME IN HELL THINKING ABOUT ME FUCKING HOT YOUNG DUDES.” Which, I realize these are “jokes” and exaggerated versions of real-life behaviors and whatnot but it feels of a piece with the vibe where Dustin’s dad gives Dustin constant shit for being a loser, and maybe if asked he’d say (or the creators of the strip would say) it’s because he loves his son and wants him to succeed but if the “love” part is never expressed it’s just people being mean to each other, you know? Sorry to not be making any jokes here but it’s wild that there’s this family comic strip about a family incapable of expressing affection towards one another, maybe because they don’t actually feel affection, and we’re supposed to like or root for these people. Like at least when the Lockhorns do it, it’s explicitly the entire bit of the strip, plus they’re weird little gnome people so it’s funnier to see them fight.

Marvin, 1/9/23

Marvin is also a strip about a family that doesn’t like each other, but I’ve long resigned myself to that, so now I’m intrigued by a potential pivot from “Marvin poops himself” to “Marvin plans to defeat his father, who he does not like, in hand-to-hand combat.”

Dick Tracy, 1/9/23

Looks like our assassin “Kyptonite,” previously identified as “Kriptonite,” is in fact Just Some Guy, not even weird in the Dick Tracy sense. It’s particularly wearisome that he makes a little joke about his name in the final panel here. You’re the one who picked this nickname, man! Sorry if it results in confusion that you feel like you have to deflect in advance, before you agree to just shoot some guy with a gun, for money.

Hi and Lois, 1/9/23

Hi and Thirsty are definitely at Chez Thurston (you can tell by the patched couch), so it’s very funny to me that Thirsty made exactly one hamburger, for himself, then didn’t bother asking Hi if he wanted one until he sat down and was on the verge of shoving it in his hamburger hole.

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Dick Tracy, 1/8/23

The current Dick Tracy plot takes a look at the age old battle between labor (the master forger who made a fake Da Vinci based on some recently discovered sketches) and capital (the underworld mastermind who connected him with the sketches and provided him with the resources he needed to create the fake). Marx teaches us that this kind of struggle is always a political one, but since this political instance takes place outside the bounds of state-sanctioned law, the politics are going to get pretty violent pretty quickly. I like that Art Dekko is calling in an (I assume) hired killer named “Kriptonite,” whose name implies that he uses otherworldly energies to kill superheroes in particular, but since Dick Tracy world is somewhat closer to our own than Superman’s, I assume he’s going to just shoot the forger guy with a gun, maybe a green gun.

Marvin, 1/8/23

Not sure what Grandma’s final panel shocked expression is supposed to convey: her realization that they’re trapped in their apartment building after a massive snowfall, and now face death from starvation or hypothermia, or that she had completely forgotten that they moved from their single-family home into an apartment building, indicating that her dementia is progressing rapidly.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/8/23

Oh, is Rex Morgan gonna throw minor ailment after minor ailment at us until we beg for more Truck Tyler bullshit? Well, forget it! I can watch June half-assedly advise people on sprained ankles and low blood suger all day! I’ll never ask for more Truck Tyler bullshit, you hear me? Never!