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Dennis the Menace, 11/9/21

I guess the joke here is supposed to be that Dennis is misinterpreting a traditional bridal party as some sort of harem situation? But in fact since all the women on this TV are wearing different colored dresses, and none of them appear to be the bride, it’s actually pretty reasonable to assume that the Mitchells are watching The Bachelor or a The Bachelor-style reality romance show, which would make Dennis’s question not menacing at all but just a standard commentary on the nature of the TV program. Either way, I don’t appreciate the “Eh? Eh? Sex?” look that Henry is giving us.

Mary Worth, 11/9/21

Oh my God, it’s only Tuesday — it is, I can’t emphasize enough, only Tuesday — and already Wilbur is singing angrily yelling Justin Timberlake’s 2002 hit “Cry Me A River” at Estelle and her date, who appears to have frozen in place, hoping nobody will notice him. Only Tuesday! How will Estelle counter???

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/9/21

“Ah yes, ‘blue skies’ — our old, uncrackable code for all’s clear. Thank goodness for our military background so we can communicate in utter secrecy this way. Now let’s read the next sentence, which — ah. Hmm.”

Dick Tracy, 11/9/21

When your mind finally snaps, what gibberish sentence will you be vacantly pecking out on a typewriter, over and over? I was never sure until today, but now I know it’s going to be “My name is Sam Catchem. I ordered Volume Six of ‘Derby Dugan: The Geebus Years.’” And you know what? I’m at peace with that.

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Dick Tracy, 11/3/21

I know I shouldn’t quibble about “realism” in a strip that features a seedy bar called “Bucket of Blood,” one of the patrons of which is a guy named “Bogart the Roach” who’s dressed like [gestures vaguely at today’s Dick Tracy]. But I do find it very funny that Dick has decided that for this undercover assignment, he’s going to don a hoodie, that sleazy garment worn only by known scumbags like Mark Zuckerberg, and he got one the exact same yellow color as his usual trench coat and fedora. Does this compromise the disguise aspect of the outfit? Maybe, but you have to understand this: it’s his signature color.

Mary Worth, 11/3/21

I have to sincerely apologize for assuming yesterday that Wilbur was rejecting Pierre. If I had given it more than 30 seconds of thought, I would have realized that Wilbur is never the rejecter and always the rejectee in any given social situation. Anyway, I think you should absolutely follow your instincts on this one, Wilbur.

Hi and Lois, 11/3/21

Damn, it’s a good thing that only we are privy to the contents of Trixie’s thought balloons, and that Lois has no idea what’s going on in that weird little head of hers, because otherwise she’d be crushed to learn that she has a stupid baby who doesn’t even understand the basics of how our heliocentric solar system works. Look at that innocent smile on her face! She doesn’t realize at all! It’s sad, really.

Dennis the Menace, 11/3/21

I feel like that is a look of genuine pathos on Mr. Wilson’s face that simply can’t be explained away by his foot being asleep. “I know the doctor said to lay of sweets,” he’s thinking, “but I don’t want to lose my leg! I don’t think I can handle it! Martha! Martha!”

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Dennis the Menace, 10/26/21

[sputtering indignantly] Martha! You completely misunderstand me! Why, I wasn’t planning on slipping this loathsome tyke a handful of barbiturates, hoping he would swallow them and quickly slip into a coma or worse! I need them for me! This is one visit from the lad too many and I’m hoping for the sweet release of death myself! Strange that you’ve lived with me for so many years but it’s as if you don’t even know me at all!

Dick Tracy, 10/26/21

Oh, so, over in Dick Tracy Diet Smith’s Time Drone exploded upon its return from a trip to the past, destroying his HQ and killing several people, and now people are mad about it. Kind of wild that this guy invented a machine capable of travelling to the past, potentially altering the fabric of the space-time continuum and also eliminating all human privacy forever, and nobody seemed to care much, but if blow up one building you get a bunch of people outside your house with signs that say “BAN TIME TRAVEL.” Hey guys, I’m pretty sure they were building bombs in that building that blew up too, just putting that out there, if you’re looking for stuff to ban!