Post Content

Gil Thorp, 10/10/14

Usually Gil is far too disengaged from his job and his student-athletes to live up to any of the usual stereotypes of gym teachers as bullies, but as his cruel smile in panel three indicates, he’s not above indulging in a little sadism if the opportunity falls ready-made into his lap. “That’s right, quarterbacks, duke it out for my love, like bugs in a jar! Oh, does the jar need shaking? COMPETITION IS GOOD! NOW FIGHT! FIGHT!”

Dennis the Menace, 10/10/14

Dennis, unable to truly grasp the concepts of “past” and “future” or the endless cycle of the seasons, lives in an eternal present, refusing to learn anything from anything that happened before or consider that his actions might have effects on what’s coming next. It doesn’t get more menacing than this.

Family Circus, 10/10/14

When the starting premise for your Family Circus cartoon is “Let’s pretend that seven-year-old Billy drew a naked picture of his little brother in the service of an awful sub-pun,” I suppose it’s actually a good thing that the end result looks like a fleshy pink chicken with a human head.

Six Chix, 10/10/14

There’s a lot to dislike here — the crude drawing, the sub-par joke — but I’m going to focus my enmity on the fact that this cartoon ran on a Friday.

Post Content

Apartment 3-G, 10/6/14

Good news, everyone! The non-Tommie Apartment 3-G gals have finally reappeared, after nearly five months! I think it was five months. That’s based on the dates I came up with for this post from June; obviously everything that’s happened in this strip since has obliterated by ability to perceive the normal passage of time, but it’s probably right. Anyway, it’s good to see that our three roommates have fallen right into their usual pecking order. “Hey, Lu Ann, I missed you, and OH GOD MARGO YOU ARE THE EVERYTHING, THE ANIMATING FORCE BEHIND ALL CREATION, WITHOUT YOU EVERY PLANET AND EVERY STAR WITHERS AND DIES”

Apartment 3-G, 10/6/14

Normally Billy weeks at the Family Circus are are just excuses for fake-crude drawings and not-fun-awful puns, but this one has a serious message. Yes, Daddy is watching his “waste,” ha ha, get it, but also, as his exaggeratedly emaciated frame makes clear, he suffers from serious body dysmorphia. That smile can’t mask the fact that, when he “watches” his own body, he sees nothing but garbage. Men can have eating disorders too, Big Daddy Keane! Getting help is not a show of weakness!

Six Chix, 10/6/14

Hey guys! Happy Monday from Six Chix! Did you know your mind is a writhing, densely packed mass of repulsive steel-grey worms, like something out of an H.R. Giger fever dream? Have a fun week!

Post Content

Mark Trail, 9/20/14

Hey, remember when this whole storyline started off, with Woods and Wildlife Magazine sending Mark off to Africa to hook up with anti-poaching activist Jacob Hickman, but then Mark got to Africa and Jacob Hickman had vanished, apparently under suspicious circumstances, so he just invited himself on Chris and Lori’s safari instead? Well, anyway, it turns out Jacob Hickman was fine, mostly, except that he had been delayed and forced to walk back to civilization … forced by rhinos. Ironic, isn’t it Jacob? You do so much for these ungrateful beasts, and yet they still try to kill you. Maybe you’ll lighten up a little on the whole poaching thing now, ha ha! Anyway, seems like Jacob’s working pretty fast to take credit for a whole lot of things that Mark did while he was busy taking his scenic little stroll.

Family Circus, 9/20/14

How much do I love mustache-dude just standing there with his hands behind his back watching Mommy Keane trying to parallel park? This is clearly his favorite form of entertainment. Probably he lurks around smallish parking spaces just waiting for something this exciting to happen. “Oh boy, this lady’s got a station wagon and a little kid in the car! I could get a solid three or four minutes out of this!”