Archive: Hagar the Horrible

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Panels from Hagar the Horrible, 11/17/24

“OK, we want people to know she’s a prostitute, so we’ll give her torn short shorts and fishnet stockings … but how will we let people know she’s a French prostitute? Can we do something with her upper half, maybe?” This sounds like criticism but it’s not. Perfect visual storytelling, informative and funny, keep it up Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC.

Dustin, 11/17/24

What really makes this strip for me is not that Dustin’s dad has to cut this evening short to go to bed so he can get up and go to work — we’ve all been there, “there” being a hell-world where are forced to earn our bread by the sweat of our brow and cannot simply be indolent all day if we so choose — but the way he does it. “Well, enough of this,” he announces to his aged father, who is unwell (see final panel “punchline”) and may not be around much longer. “I’ve done the math on whether my optimal choice is to hang out with you or slip into unconsciousness, and my conclusion is: smell ya later, old man.”

Dennis the Menace, 11/17/24

Wow, so the entire run of Dennis the Menace has been one of those ironic things where it turns out it’s a story written by one of the characters! Who knew Mr. Wilson had such artistic talents. Anyway, looks like today’s the day we wrap the whole thing up. RIP Dennis the Menace, 1951-2024, you taught me it was OK to be weird.

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Dustin, 11/15/24

Yes, sir, Dustin sure is a strip where one of the main characters is a lawyer! Ha ha, that is undeniable. And “class action”? You’d better believe that’s something a lawyer would say. Does that make this strip funny? Well. That’s neither here nor there. I think we can say all the elements are there, though! Ha ha!

Hagar the Horrible, 11/15/24

The thing about Hagar is that he’s a literal savage, a vicious pirate and murderer. Everyone is terrified of him! He’s a violent man who feels no remorse!

Pluggers, 11/15/24

Pluggers are covered with bruises and various injuries. It’s actually really disheartening. And they’re old and their health isn’t great, so they don’t heal as quickly as they used to.

Shoe, 11/15/24

Wait, do the Shoe bird-people do meetings by Zoom? That implies a global pandemic in their recent past … but what could that be [Googles “bird flu,” accidentally clicks on the “News” tab] oh god damn it

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Intelligent Life, 11/8/24

I can’t believe I’m saying this about Intelligent Life, a comic strip that’s usually about unpleasant bug-eyed people saying fandom words at each other, but today’s strip is actually based on fairly complex semiotic play. Rather than simply having a conversation, Skippy, and, uh, the other guy are talking about the sort of conversation they expect to have, while simultaneously undermining those expectations. Skippy’s reply being put in quote marks, indicating we’re at least one layer of metanarrative deep here, is a particularly effective device.

Hagar the Horrible, 11/8/24

Speaking of narrative, if they had put an eggheaded intellectual like me in charge of today’s Hagar the Horrible, it would’ve been about how the canonically illiterate Hagar believes that his people’s lore should be preserved via their ancient oral tradition of poetry, and is horrified to see Hamlet reading it out of some book. But you could also do a joke about how he’s afraid of spiders, I guess. I mean, why not, if you want to. I don’t like spiders either, for the record.

Mary Worth, 11/8/24

Incredible visual storytelling here: in panel two, we discover that this whole time Wilbur was standing just in front of these ladies, ready to start manically ranting about how great Mary and her food are, certainly better than the sad Lean Cuisine meals he microwaves every night and baptizes with his tears — but only the sudden pullback of our viewpoint reveals his face, in a real jump scare.

Dennis the Menace, 11/8/24

Wait, doesn’t the “world’s best dad” formulation imply that there aren’t any more like him? Does … does Dennis not know that other people have dads, or what?