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Hagar the Horrible, 7/24/21

Wait, she went from dating a mollusk to dating a mammal? The mermaid sexual lifecycle in this strip is even weirder than I thought it was.

Dennis the Menace, 7/24/21

Just when you think Dennis can’t get any less menacing, you get an installment that entirely consists of him saying “Let’s read this other comic strip where the child characters are much more menacing than I am.”

Blondie, 7/24/21

If you’ve ever wondered how the Bumsteads keep their suburban lifestyle afloat on Dagwood’s stagnant salary and the proceeds from Blondie’s low-margin small business, here’s your answer: Blondie sell’s Dagwood’s feet pics to some very specific fetish sites.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/18/21

“Wow, so instead of straining to come up with story elements ex nihilo like I’ve been doing, you used aspects of your everyday life for raw material? Brilliant! By the way, you’ve never heard of ‘character rights,’ have you? Great, great.”

Panels from Hagar the Horrible, 7/18/21

Have you ever wanted to see an elderly Viking woman learning the basics of supply and demand curves … the hard way? Well, the throwaway panels from today’s Hagar the Horrible are for you, my friend.

Hi and Lois, 7/18/21

I’m actually kind of surprised that legacy cartoonists, who have some of the most secure jobs on the planet, don’t just straight-up put their erotic fantasies in their strips more often. I’m definitely not surprised that those erotic fantasies involve golf, though.

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Hagar the Horrible, 7/6/21

Ha ha! It’s funny because Lucky Eddie has made this same silly dad joke repeatedly, every time Hagar’s warband comes to sack this tiny little village, which, again, has happened often enough for everyone to get sick of the joke. Can you imagine the horror? Can you imagine these defenseless villagers forced to give up whatever meager amounts of wealth they’ve been able to accumulate since the last raid or suffer ghastly, violent consequences? Can you imagine them hiding in the ruined castle, once a symbol of the Carolingian Empire that restored peace and order to Western Europe, but now just an empty shell as the grandsons and great-grandsons of Charlemagne squabble amongst themselves, leaving the periphery of the Empire to rot? I’m sure they too would see the humor in Eddie’s little jest, were they not cringing in terror in some dark hiding spot somewhere!

Marvin, 7/6/21

If you only knew about Marvin from my blog, you might have a slanted view of the strip as being primarily about pooping. That’s not true, though; it’s really about a smug nightmare baby who, among his many other bad qualities, can dish it out but can’t take it. (Both “it”s in that sentence, to be perfectly clear, refer to poop.)