Archive: Mark Trail

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Mark Trail, 11/18/11

“We’re going to follow this Watergate business as far as it goes, even if it means putting a bucket-harness on a semi-tame bear in hopes that he’ll lead us to a hidden gold mine” is something I assume Woodward said to Bernstein at least once.

Archie, 11/18/11

Many of us are too young to remember what an culture-shaking sensation Trump: The Art of the Deal was when it was published in 1987; fortunately, this Archie comic from the 1990s gives a little taste of the awe and reverence in which that tome was held, by showing us how shocking it would be for a mere lunch lady to publish her own version.

Hagar the Horrible, 11/18/11

Hagar’s dog has been out until 3 a.m. having sex, hopefully with other dogs.

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Mary Worth, 11/14/11

For someone who had a careful list of all her credit card information on hand in case of theft, Mary sure seems shaken by the fact that her credit cards were stolen. In an ideal world the purpose of the list is to make her feel smug and prepared, and perhaps even allow her to assert her superiority over those who don’t have her foresight. She should never have to actually use it, how gauche!

I’d like to believe that Mary’s thought balloon in the second panel heralds some rethinking of her world view, and an understanding that we do not live in an ideal world, that bad things sometimes happen to good people, or even to the best people (i.e., Mary). But probably it just presages her transformation into a brutal masked vigilante who will hunt down criminals wherever they hide, which, I should emphasize, will also be pretty great.

Mark Trail, 11/14/11

Gosh, Kelly, I’m not sure what it is that Mother McQueen might want to melt, in relation to making her gold goose bands? Gold? Does gold melt? Gold does melt, right? Will someone answer Kelly? Someone? I mean, she is talking to someone, right? Otherwise she’s just talking loudly to nobody in particular while in the process of sneaking around at night, which is clearly ridiculous. C’mon, whoever she’s talking to, get her on the right track!

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Six Chix, 11/8/11

I’m a little puzzled by the visual messaging going on here. The icon of the culty robed figure, standing on a public street and holding a sign, is well established in the cartoonist’s vocabulary, if not in reality. Usually these people are bearded old dudes, and I’ll accept the divergence from the type here to accommodate Six Chix’s lady-centric mission, but the placards they carry generally offer dire warnings of impending apocalypse, and so I don’t buy the slightly too wordy (is “Hugs Not Drugs” trademarked?) anti-drug PSA this woman is perpetrating. I do like the sassy pill-popper’s response, though. “Oh, honey, I can go days and days without physical contact with another human being — let’s be honest, most of them smell bad or linger too long or both — but it’s been four hours since I took my last Vicodin and I’m really starting to miss it, you know?”

Mark Trail, 11/8/11

I certainly hope that Kelly Welly’s article is just an expansion of what we see in panel three, which is to say that it should be page after page of closeup photos of her eyes and bangs overlaid with free associated noun phrases. It will win every single Pulitzer Prize available.

Apartment 3-G, 11/8/11

Meanwhile, the Apartment 3-G writer and artist are in the middle of one of their “you are going to draw things if I have to kill you” spats. “What will it take to get you to draw clothing that is not boring? Lu Ann’s breasts? Is that what it takes? Fine.”