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Click the banner to contribute and receive a Commemorative Comics Curmudgeon Bible Bird Band! Details here.

Interesting … these Comics Curmudgeon Bible Bird Bands look like they are made of gold!* Find out for sure — make a generous contribution, and receive your own!

* They are not.

Mark Trail, 10/12/11

Hey, the gang’s back together again, and Kelly’s in full vixen mode: look how she line-jumps poor Andy to plant one on Mark. Kelly, you want to get with this guy, take a tip from Andy and use a lot more tongue.

Apartment 3-G, 10/12/11

“Yes, don’t forget his family — his creepy, intrusive, controlling family who will live right next door to you in New Jersey. Because I’m pretty sure they’re won’t forget you, what with the 24-hour surveillance and all.”

Family Circus, 10/12/11

Dolly, don’t taunt others for developmental conditions beyond their control. It sets a precedent you may regret.

Luann, 10/12/11

“Still other times I’d stand astride you with a whip shrieking ‘Grovel, worm!’ while you groveled, like a worm. Seriously, Knute — how are you not getting any of this?”

Fundraiser update

Bible Bird Bands for all contributions received by Tuesday 5:00 PM EDT are in the mail — First Class, just like you, generous readers! Once you’ve crafted yours into some uniquely personal objet or form of adornment, why not send Josh a picture for a future Metapost, at bio@jfruh.com?

In a brazen attempt to capitalize on the wave of Bible Bird Band enthusiasm sweeping the Internet, Audubon has teamed up with 20th Century Fox to promote the new birding movie The Big Year with a contest they call Birding the Net. In the words of the press release, “The game will go viral….” Whoa!

Well, no worm for you, Audubon! Wrong Century, 20th! The game have already gone viral, and the Net has already been birded by generous Comics Curmudgeon contributors! Check it out right here on GOOSETRAX — the fully-interactive Google Maps-based goose tracker. Double-click or use the slider to zoom in, click and drag to reposition, click icons to see their tags, and pull the little golden man onto the map to see Street View where available. No matter what your question, GOOSETRAX has your Anser.

GOOSETRAX (full details and Privacy Policy here.)

Put yourself on the map, with a generous donation to The Comics Curmudgeon!

Mark Trail’s Greatest Hits – a Fall Fundraiser special, part 3

Mark Trail — 11/22/06, 1/14, 2/25, 4/19, 5/21/08

— Uncle Lumpy

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Click the banner to contribute and receive a Commemorative Comics Curmudgeon Bible Bird Band! Details here.

Twice a year I host a fundraiser to thank Josh for the considerable time, effort, and talent he puts into The Comics Curmudgeon. This time, every contributor will receive a one-of-a-kind Mark Trail-themed Comics Curmudgeon Commemorative Bible Bird Band in appreciation of your generosity. Behold:

These are gold-anodized aluminum butt-end bird bands (three are shown), 1/2″ inside by 3/8″ tall — appropriate for pheasants, ducks, and young (4 – 10 weeks) geese. Each is stamped “Genesis 1:20”, “Lost Forest”, and “CC11-nnn”, where “nnn” is a unique serial number starting at 001. The referenced verse is “And God said, let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven” (KJV) — the very same verse worn by Mark’s Rescue Goose and Mountie McQueen’s wall.

Made by America’s premier manufacturer of game bird, poultry, and livestock tags, these fine bands have been wet-tumbled to a satin sheen, and are ready to ship — First Class, of course — to Comics Curmudgeon contributors of any amount. Your one-of-a-kind Bible Bird Band will arrive packed with a length of linen or leather cord and a pinch of feathers, ready for you to transform into a necklace, bracelet, talisman, or fetish object — the possibilities are endless! Bands will be mailed in numeric order, so act now for those coveted low numbers. Don’t just read about Mark’s Canadian Bible Bird Band adventure — live it!

To contribute by credit card or PayPal, click the banner at the top of the page and follow the instructions on the secure PayPal site. To contribute by check or money order, email uncle.lumpy@comcast.net and I’ll reply with an address. One band per contributor: full details here, along with an index to the 60 or so banners in rotation at the top of the page.

But wait — there’s more! When your personal Bible Bird Band is released from the Comics Curmudgeon‘s West or East Coast wildlife sanctuary, a goose icon will appear at an appropriate pond, park, lake, landfill, or fast-food joint in your ZIP or Postal Code (not at your address) on the interactive GOOSETRAX®* map, courtesy of Google Maps and young codemaster Spiff Lumpy. Personalize your goose by adding a comment in the PayPal “Enter your screen name …” field, or along with your mailed contribution. Full details, Privacy Policy, and opt-out instructions here. GOOSETRAX will go live Wednesday, but check out this preview:

Finally, in honor of the Mark Trail-themed fundraiser, this week features “Mark Trail’s Greatest Hits” — iconic fistic feats of Mark Trail pugilism, stretching back to the misty origins of The Comics Curmudgeon. Here goes:

Mark Trail’s Greatest Hits – a Fall Fundraiser special, part 1

Mark Trail — 9/25/04, 10/13/04, 12/9-10/05

MEOW BOW-WOW POW — OW!

— Uncle Lumpy

* GOOSETRAX is not an actual Registered Trademark.

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Mark Trail, 9/27/11

Is it possible for a character in Mark Trail to behave in a fashion so detached from the realities of human motivation that he will shock even Mark into self-awareness? To recap: Mountie McQueen is afraid that people will find out that he and his mother are engaged in the odd but (to the best of my knowledge) wholly innocent and legal pastime of putting bands printed with bible verses on the legs of geese. This bible-banding operation was stumbled upon by Andy, a dog who can neither understand what he saw at Mother McQueen’s cabin nor describe it to anyone else. Nevertheless, the risk of exposure is too great, and now Andy must be taken prisoner based on a completely fabricated rabies scare.

Mark’s befuddled “What?” shows that this is one insane thing too much even for a man who deals with insane things without comment every day of his life. If nothing else, one must assume that Andy’s rabies shots are all up to date, seeing as Mark’s live-in father-in-law is a vet. (You’d also think that Andy would have been fixed, too, though the way he scampered off after Princess might imply otherwise.)

Funky Winkerbean, 9/27/11

Oh look, it’s the time of year where Les worries frantically that his Lisa’s Legacy Walk will somehow go awry and fail to keep up its streak of not curing cancer. This year everyone will be pelted by a cold rain, which, if we’re lucky, will mean that after the strip’s next time jump Summer will be running the Les’s Legacy Walk to cure pneumonia.

Gil Thorp, 9/27/11

Was that sports action in panel one too thrilling for you? Don’t worry: in panel two, you only have to hear about a fumble being run back for a touchdown, and can relax by just looking at a guy handing a football to a ref. In panel three, just enjoy a soothing Marty Moon closeup rather than looking at something anxiety-inducing like a successful two-point conversion.

Momma, 9/27/11

Aren’t Momma’s memories of her long-dead husband usually quite worshipful? This strip implies that she held him in as much passive-aggressive contempt as she does her children. Actually, from the dubious way that picture is looking at her, it seems that she’s had his soul preserved in photographic form via dark magic, the better to torment him throughout eternity.