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Six Chix, 9/2/19

I am not comfortable with the whimsical, knowing look the lady on the right is giving us in this panel. Combined with her weirdly phrased dialogue, it makes the whole thing fairly sinister, to be honest! “Hee hee, our picnic has been [a odd chittering undertone, almost impossible to hear, is in her voice for the following word] selected by the marching ants! Will they march us into their underground city? Will their tiny chitinous legs sweep over our naked bodies, down there in the dark, until we no longer feel them individually, until they just feel like a swift, running stream? Will eventually our minds, our very selves, be dissolved into their collective consciousness erasing us but somehow making us something greater than we could’ve ever imagined? Who knows how our picnic will be [voice suddenly drops five octaves] TRANSFORMED”

Mary Worth, 9/2/19

Oh my God, has anxious Dawn postponed the “what are we doing with this relationship” conversation with Hugo to the drive to the airport? This is simultaneously absolutely hilarious and also so relatable to me personally that it makes my stomach hurt, almost as much as Dawn’s stomach is hurting right now.

Mark Trail, 9/2/19

Wow, looks like the private equity fund that bought Woods and Wildlife after its corporate parent went bankrupt has come up with a new strategy to juice pageviews, and it’s “Find (and, if possible, kill) animals that don’t actually exist.” Now, most people are reading this strip and thinking “HOLY COW MARK TRAIL IS GONNA PUNCH THE BEARD OFF A HIMALAYAN CRYPTID” but I’m much more interested in Dr. Camel. He’s a camel with a Ph.D.!!!!

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Mary Worth, 9/1/19

I’m honestly very excited to see how Dawn, overwhelmed by her feelings, manages to square the circle so that Hugo can return to his country but they can stay together as long as they both want that. Will she clone both of them so that each of them can stay in their home nation while enjoying each other’s company? Annex France to the United States? Annex the United States to France? Let Hugo go home, then “surprise” him by showing up in Paris unannounced and declaring that she’s his full-time girlfriend now, possibly after lurking in the bushes to spy on him and any French lovers he may have, the way only a Weston can? It’s probably that last one, isn’t it?

Funky Winkerbean, 9/1/19

The last couple weeks of Funkyplot have been taken up with Mindy meeting and learning from (fictional) female comics pioneer Ruby Lith. And what better way to honor the legacy of all the real-life put-upon female comic book artists Ruby represents than to offer a tip of the Funky felt tip to [squints] Rob Ro and Thom Zahler, two male comic book artists?

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Six Chix, 8/23/19

Dear Lady: Cat no ask be pet. You make cat pet! Cat is cat: leave cat be.

Between Friends, 8/23/19

The clerk hasn’t found a job that values her creative writing degree, but she hasn’t lost her gift for concise metaphor, either.

Mary Worth, 8/23/19

“Dear Glum Gina — Yes, I read Mary Worth, too. Don’t get your hopes up.”

Family Circus, 8/23/19

“Someday,” Jeffy says, “someday the strip will be mine, and I’ll show the world how it really was back then, growing up. How he was, sitting in the back seat across from me, counting the cars as we passed and yammering on about every … damn … one. And then again in the restaurant, unspooling those endless hours of drivel in reverse, car by car. Back then I couldn’t do anything more than turn my head to shut him out. But someday the strip will be mine. I’ll show them all, and everyone will know.”

— Uncle Lumpy