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Gil Thorp, 12/5/20

You know, normally I’d complain about absolutely bonkers sports action being told about, not shown, in the visual medium of the comics. But honestly, it’s worth it that the person describing the off-panel action is Marty Moon, and his eyes are the size of dinner plates, like he’s overjoyed and honestly grateful that he picked the absolute best game of the year to do a ton of drugs right before it started.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 12/5/20

Big news, everyone! It turns out the Jehovah’s Witnesses have the one true faith. Grimm tried messing with them, and now his soul is condemned to eternal torture, in hell!

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Funky Winkerbean, 11/29/20

Hey, remember when our heroes went to Los Angeles for entertainment industry reasons a few months back and significant portions of the city burned to the ground? Well, at least Mopey Pete got something out of it: he encountered the obscure street name “Sunset Boulevard,” generally only known to LA locals, and he got some comics ideas out of it! Either that or the whole experience made him want to kill himself.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 11/29/20

Speaking of killing yourself, I guess today’s Mother Goose and Grimm is supposed to feature Mother Goose levitating in shock at the sight of a rat, but that is, uh, not the first thing I thought of when I saw this strip, let’s just say that.

Panels from Blondie, 11/29/20

If you worked at it, you could probably think of a grosser and more sexual sounding euphemism for eating leftovers out of the fridge than “I need another session with our turkey,” but honestly, why bother? “I need another session with our turkey” is already pretty bad.

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Beetle Bailey, 10/17/20

I really like the emotional journey we get to go on with Killer here. Like, in the first panel, he overhears Beetle saying nice things to the chaplain, and he’s like “Oh shit! Is my buddy Beetle actually one of those goody-goody church types? Gross!” But then when he realizes Beetle is just toying with the chaplain’s emotions, he settles into a mood of smug, heavy-lidded sinfulness. “Ahh, yes, less time in church means less time to feel guilty and more time to attack and dethrone God.”

Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/17/20

I assume the intended joke here is that Grimm wants directions to a local public transit system, because ha ha the subway is full of rats, even though anyone who’s ever actually ridden on a subway before would ask for directions to the nearest subway station. But I’m not ruling out the possibility that this is a reference to Subway, the chain of fast-food sandwich restaurants, and that someone over at Grimmy, Inc., had a bad experience there — maybe they saw a rat, maybe they and the sandwich artist had a difference of opinion on what constitutes “extra” cheese — and now they’ve decided to make it their mission to make sure Subway and vermin are firmly associated in the public mind.