Post Content

Panel from Slylock Fox, 8/21/22

You ever think that Count Weirdly is just kind of greedy? I mean, he already has an extremely cool customized rocket-plane that’s already capable of outrunning Slylock’s fox-jet to his Antarctic lair (YES BECAUSE OF THE GROUND, YOU SEE, I GUESS WE’D USE A DIFFERENT WORD FOR THE UNDERSEA FLOOR). Getting the plans for another top secret plane just seems like it’s redundant. Will the new plane have bat wings? No? How cool could it possibly be, then?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/21/22

Ironically, the only reason Loweezy had to pay a doctor’s bill in the first place is because Snuffy set himself on fire siphoning that gasoline out of a flatlander’s car. You really can’t get ahead in this economy!

Post Content

Mary Worth, 7/24/22

I am currently reading The End of Everything (Astrophysically Speaking), which I highly recommend if you want a more-or-less accessible intro to not just the end of the universe but the current state of scientific consensus on big-picture cosmology stuff. One of the parts that I find hardest to get my head around is what it means to say “the universe is expanding,” which it is, and if I’m understanding things right this doesn’t just mean that individual stellar objects are continuing to move outward from the Big Bang origin point into the void, but that the fabric of spacetime itself is in some sense spreading out.

Weirdly, I might’ve just gotten a little insight into this from today’s Mary Worth. Throughout this Jared-Dawn horrorshow, there’s been some discourse on this blog as to whether Jared or Dawn has the greater claim to be the wronged party and/or history’s greatest monster. But only today — in which we learn that Jared can never truly commit to Jess by smooching her until his ex, whom he dumped, agrees to be friends with him, and this will become the central engine of the remainder of the drama here — did I realize that it’s actually the narrative fabric of the universe they inhabit itself that’s at fault here. This takes a real load off my mind, honestly! Jared and Dawn can no more stop sucking than distant galaxies can stop hurtling away from us into infinite space (which they probably can’t, since according to the book most people now no longer believe in the Big Crunch hypothesis).

Slylock Fox, 7/24/22

Ahh, isn’t this a pleasant rooftop scene! Everyone enjoying snacks and beverages, Slylock flirting the only way he knows how (by posing elementary logic puzzles, a little too eagerly), and … what’s this? Notorious sad drunk McGruff the Crime Dog, just sitting there silently watching the proceedings? Has he been invited to the gathering out of pity, or did he just stumble up to the rooftop for a weekend suicide attempt and decided to act casual about it?

Dennis the Menace, 7/24/22

I’m just gonna say it, Dennis: that isn’t a very good question at all. Do better next time.

Post Content

Slylock Fox, 7/18/22

I honestly have quite a few questions about how realistic these Cyber-Weirdlies are. Like, can they talk? Do they hold up a conversation or just have an ELIZA-style set of canned phrases they use to respond to everything? How much autonomy do they have to move around? How docile was this bot as the duck-cop tied a single thin rope around him and then led him back to Slylock? Did the duck really think that master criminal and inventor Count Weirdly would allow himself to be so easily captured and served up on a platter to his archnemesis, Slylock Fox? I guess my questions are honestly much more about how dumb Officer Quackers here is, and also about why he’s been saddled with the name “Deputy Duck” when Officer Quackers is obviously much funnier.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/18/22

One definite sign I’m getting old is that I’m not a “car guy” by any means but every time I see a Cadillac built in the last 10 years I think “jeez, this looks like ass,” and when I see one of these “classic” Caddys from my youth like the one Tildy’s driving herself to the hospital in here, I’m like “yes, YES, this is what a Cadillac SHOULD look like,” even though, objectively, they look like ass as well. Still, if Tildy is a little more in touch with the nuances of her aging body than her husband and really is having a heart attack, I will shed a single tear to see this majestic vehicle swerve off the road into a tree.

Hagar the Horrible, 7/18/22

Hagar is right to be surprised in panel two. This is Viking Age! A boat like this should be an economic boon its owner, allowing them to either trade or raid depending on the military strength of the peoples on whose shore they arrive! If someone is just using a boat as an expensive hobby, then the world is truly changing and maybe Hagar isn’t going to be able to just murder people and steal their stuff for a living anymore.