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Judge Parker, 10/23/16

Godiva Danube (neé Brunhilde Akerman) burst upon our collective consciousness in April 2009 as movie star, equestrienne, wife of country-music legend Rocky Sledge, supporter of Our Brave Troops, and adoptive mother of six refugee children (all now playing nicely with the Thorp kids down at the bottom of the memory hole; don’t forget to toss in some Legos and string cheese as you pass by).

Today, with the Godiva-affiliate wing of the Spencer-Driver empire in literal collapse behind her, she wisely if callously cuts her losses, protects her #Brand, and Gets the Hell out of Dodge. Given the new author’s interest in paring down the cast of characters, this may be the last we’ll see of her. Farewell, Godiva, and thanks for all the cheesecake!

[Caution: video plays oom-pah music. Sincere apologies to Tom Jones.]

Mark Trail, 10/23/16

Heart-stopping killer eyeball plants – for those special times when parasitic flatworms aren’t creepy enough!

Mary Worth, (panels) 10/23/16

Through the dark times of addiction and even prison, you never, ever question your Worth — not if you know what’s good for you, buddy.

Well, my time here is up.

SO UNFAIR.

Josh will be back tomorrow — thanks for a lovely week!

–Uncle Lumpy

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So ends the Fall 2016 Fundraiser. Sincere thanks, generous readers!

Curtis, 10/22/16

Sadly, I’m sure it will work pretty much exactly like this. Curtis will get just big enough to beat up Derrick and the Bully Formerly Known as “Onion” to earn his revenge and his very own quotes. In time, “Barry” will follow to knock “Curtis” violently off his new perch.

But watch your back, “Barry” — “Teddy” is damn sick of you dragging him around, and he’s been working out.

Funky Winkerbean, 10/22/16

“While we can?” Bull earned those concussions, lost memories, and rage attacks, Linda — you think you can just ride along? Get your own damn tragedy — this may be Westview, but they can’t all be taken yet.

Family Circus, 10/22/16

Jeffy vows to entertain his celestial companion by exploring new frontiers of sin. Why is the Keane family such a hotbed of heresy and sacrilege?

— Uncle Lumpy

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As usual on my watch, there’s no COTW this week — Schroduck gets another week up there. But I want to make sure to thank our fine Comics Curmudgeon advertisers:

• Two Party Opera: A daily comic that features the Presidents of the United States as they live on the stage of history with the day-to-day news of political mudslinging.
• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
• And if you haven’t bought Josh’s novel yet, you should! You can get it in hardback, paperback, or ebook forms … it’s called The Enthusiast, it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy — and it’s excellent!

If you would like to buy advertising on the Comics Curmudgeon, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to the site’s BuySellAds page or just click here.

–Uncle Lumpy