Post Content

Dennis the Menace, 10/20/15

The angry look Mr. Wilson is flashing Mrs. Wilson here ought to send a chill down anyone’s spine. One assumes that, like their namesake characters in Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf, the frustrated, childless George and Martha have an imaginary son that they discuss only with each other as part of their cruel banter, and now Dennis is getting too close to the truth. Unless … Dennis is their imaginary son? Will he wink out of existence, once he becomes self-aware?

Funky Winkerbean, 10/20/15

Hey, remember the interminable storyline where Holly became a comics nerd so she could put together a complete Starbucks Jones collection together for her son Cory, who was off in Afghanistan, and this helped her feel close to him when he was far away and in grave danger? In related news, remember how Cory’s main deal before the time-jump was that he was an insufferable, ungrateful little shit, and it was never quite clear whether or not military life had cured him of it?

Gasoline Alley, 10/20/15

Hey, remember beloved comics characters Mutt and Jeff from days of yore? Well, Mutt’s the only one left. Jeff’s dead now.

Heathcliff, 10/20/15

Haha, wouldn’t it be funny if James Bond didn’t wear pants, and drank water out of the toilet?

Six Chix, 10/20/15

LOL LADIES ALWAYS EXPECTING YOU TO INTERACT WITH ’EM WHADDYA GONNA DO AMIRGHT FELLAS

Post Content

Blondie, 10/19/15

Ha ha, kids today with their crazy indecipherable nonsense phrases, amiright? “What’s cracking,” which something that literally my grandfather said? “Wassap” and “Howzit,” which which are wholly transparent contractions of extremely common English turns of phrase? Who exactly is this Blondie catering to? Space aliens who are angry that a language dataset composed entirely of academic prose didn’t prepare them for the reality of conversation with English-speaking humans?

Gil Thorp, 10/19/15

Hmm, Mimi, you say this isn’t about some long-ago Gil-fulcrumed love triangle, yet you seem awfully eager to flash your wedding ring in your erstwhile rival’s face, don’t you? Or at least that’s what the producers of Welcome Back, Carter hope to imply, by focusing their cameras right on your ring finger. This is great stuff! Really juicy! Viewers will go nuts!

Marvin, 10/19/15

I’m totally willing to accept the convention whereby preverbal infants in comic strips express fully formed sentences in thought-balloon form, for comedy’s sake. I’m less thrilled when multiple preverbal infants communicate with each other via words that appear in thought balloons. I’m particularly opposed to preverbal infants thought-ballooning to each other over the phone. What, can phones transmit psychic baby thoughtwaves as well as sounds now? It’s too much to suspend disbelief. (Also, nobody wants to hang out with Marvin, LOL)

Mary Worth, 10/19/15

Ha, I genuinely love that after hiding out in Mary’s apartment, Toby didn’t even bother to text her or anything to say “Things are great!” Nope, as soon as she and Ian realized they could continue to tolerate each other, she just stopped thinking about Mary altogether! Mary’s been reduced to lurking by the windows, hoping to catch a glimpse of the happy-ish couple just to make sure they didn’t murder each other.

Slylock Fox, 10/19/15

OH MY GOD SLYLOCK FOX IS JUST STRAIGHT-UP STEALING THINGS FROM COUNT WEIRDLY NOW

HOW IS SLYLOCK STILL THE GOOD GUY AND COUNT WEIRDLY THE BAD GUY IN THIS COMIC STRIP

AM I TAKING CRAZY PILLS HERE

Post Content

Six Chix, 10/18/15

While I cannot argue with the sentiment of today’s Six Chix, I am supremely unnerved by the context in which it is delivered. Why do these three women (or are they variously malformed instances of the same woman?) each appear to be accompanied by an ominous dark void? Is this some sort of dimensional portal from which the women are emerging, or some of the Monoliths from the 2001 series? Or perhaps they’re just large stakes to which the women have been tied, with burning in the immediate future. In today’s fashion-forward world, does a woman condemn herself as a witch merely for suggesting sensible shoes?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/18/15

Haha, Jordan is not happy to be the unwitting confidant of Milton’s senile, paranoid fantasies! Maybe he’s just going to have to explain to Heather about this frozen money, or maybe they are all going to be killed by Milton’s enemies, but either way, I bet he’s regretting turning down that gig as “guy who gives free stuff to the Morgans” and telling his agent he wanted a bigger role.