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I got stuff going on today, folks (including getting ready for my performance at Baltimore’s 14K Cabaret tonight, you should come watch and strike a blow against the region’s insane panic about extremely mild snow accumulation) so I’ve got your comment of the week … kinda early:

“Three cheers for Kraven! The good guy escaped! (Kraven is the good guy, right?)” –Cloudbuster

And your runners up! Very funny!

“It was nice of Greg, the James Bond actor, to comb out, part, and curl Margo’s luxurious blue hair before putting her to bed. Maybe he concluded that ‘Eric’ was her stylist.” –Chipper

“Dilton isn’t absent-minded at all during his awkward display. His feverish mind is present inside his clumsy body all throughout. Aware that the girls are looking at him with not-quite-pity and not-quite-disgust, aware that the local loudmouths are braying remarks, and aware that one day … one day … all of Riverdale is going to burn.” –Chareth Cutestory

“‘Wait, isn’t that the sock your husband masturbates into?’ ‘Yeah. We’re really gross.” –Greg

“Snapping turtles have a worm-like appendage that they use to lure fish, so does this guy. ‘I have nothing to hide’ means he gets in the water naked during competitions.” –nescio

“So let me get this straight. Aquaman dyed his hair black and now cheats on the pro bass circuit with his fish-summoning powers? How the mighty have fallen. Well, at least he kept the orange shirt, for old times’ sake.” –Voshkod

“Margo owns the building, right? Which means those sprinkler-thingies are just for show and the axe is a foam-rubber replica.” –Dood

“‘Oh, no … not again?!’ That is officially the most you can fuck up punctuation in one sentence.” –Doctor Handsome

“‘Knute, what career are you looking for at the fair?’ ‘I want to be TJ .. in a hat!’” –Mr. Fogarty

“‘You’re ready, Mary?’ ‘Yes!’ Man, if that isn’t a set-up for the most anti-erotic porn ever, I don’t know what is. The fact that her next line starts with ‘Oof!’ only adds to an image I’ll never be able to drink away.” –Pozzo

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Mary Worth, 1/25/13

You guys, John and Mary aren’t just practicing baking a cake. That’s only a part of the elaborate stagecraft that goes into Santa Royale’s elite cake-baking contest! They also have to carry their cake from one place to another, and are thus quite sensibly going through a trial run of that as well. Probably in real life the reason this stack of tins is the exact same color as the practice cakes Mary and John have been making is because the colorists can’t be bothered to distinguish among the various cylindrical objects the strip’s been featuring over the past few weeks (additional data point: freestanding set of cookbooks, all the same dull steel grey), but I’d like to believe that John carefully painted each tin after filling them with odds and ends, for added verisimilitude.

Dennis the Menace, 1/25/13

Good lord, Dennis is one of those people who go around smugly informing everyone that they don’t watch TV. Menacing factor: Increased!

Pluggers, 1/25/13

COME ON PLUGGERS YOU HAVE MULTIPLE CHARACTERS THAT AREN’T DOG-MEN WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US

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Mark Trail, 1/24/13

Here we can see the wild Rod Bassy in his usual habitat. Panel two offers a good look at one of his natural defenses: when threatened by a predator or a nosey reporter, he can puff out his plumage so that he appears twice as large as his actual size! Watch how the aggressor backs off as a result of this aggressive display.

Funky Winkerbean, 1/24/13

“So now that my husband’s died of a massive stroke, I’m at last free! Free to live the life I’ve always wanted! Free to … wait, he’s recovering? Fuck.”

Apartment 3-G, 1/24/13

Ari seems suspiciously blasé about the disaster unfolding over in 3-G, suspiciously reluctant to get the authorities involved. I’m not implying that he had anything to do with it, of course, but I do think he’s anxious because he decided in the middle of the night to go clean shaven and Greg’s caught him after he’s taken off his mustache but before he got to his beard. “I can’t let anyone think I’m deliberately cultivating this dumb little chinbeard! Especially not the fire department!”

Marvin, 1/24/13

Showing, not telling: Not satisfied with just informing us that Marvin constantly stews in a miasma of his own filth-stink, Marvin is trying to show us, via the artfully rendered reaction of others, just how awful it is being within smelling distance of him.