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Rex Morgan, M.D, 3/20/22

So, we’ve already established that Sarah will suffer no consequences for possibly accidentally amnesia-plagiarizing her lucrative new characters, “the Doggo Twins,” from her erstwhile art teacher. But were you harboring some worries that she really was ripping them off, which might count against her mortal soul, even though she can’t remember it? Well, fear not: she didn’t. I honestly love how this could’ve been a “ha ha, we can laugh about it now” moment but Rex is actually very interested in the exonerative aspects of this sketchbook. “So, is there a date in there anywhere? Something legible? Something that would hold up in court?”

Daddy Daze, 3/20/22

The line between “Ha ha, this certainly is a relatable strip about the highs and lows of being a single parent!” and “The Daddy Daze daddy is having a hard time. A hard time. Here’s got problems, a lot of problems” is thin, but I feel like we crossed it a while back at high speed and are showing no signs of stopping or even slowing down.

Panel from The Lockhorns, 3/20/22

I’m sorry, Leroy is four feet tall, tops, he definitely does not wear size 10 shoes.

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Mary Worth, 3/19/22

It’s been a while since we had a good Ian storyline, and the Ian I know is not a guy who sees that his wife isn’t having a great day and says, “Dear, please, let me pour your a glass of your favorite mid-list wine and not ask you any probing questions and then blow the answers out of proportion whatsoever.” Frankly, I don’t know if he’s had hours of therapy or a court-ordered lobotomy or if he’s just finally looked into this newly legal “marijuana” stuff that his students keep telling him about (specifically, they tell him it’s necessary for enduring one of his lectures), but he’s changed, man.

Curtis, 3/19/22

You know who hasn’t changed? Curtis’s dad! The only use of a trauma plot that I will accept is a lie spun to get your kid to stop asking you for money for at least a week.

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Folks, it’s the comment …….. of the week!

“Notice how Mrs. Wilson is on her cell phone keeping up to date with the times by scrolling through TikTok, Instagra,m and Reddit — where the young hip kids get their news. While old fuddy daddy Mr. Wilson is still reading dying print media. The subtext is clear. The meteor is only coming for technological dinosaurs like Ole Mr. Wilson. The smarter savvier mammals will survive. Mrs. Wilson gets this. That’s why in the last panel she is laughing at the slow death of her walnut brained husband.” –Joe Momma

Folks, it’s the hilarious …… runners up!

“Mr. Wilson looks pretty defensive about their Flintstone costumes. When was the last time you wore a new outfit, Dennis? Huh? Huh? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Go home, Dennis. You stink.” –made of wince

“I’m intrigued by Mrs. Wilson’s eye-roll when Mr. Wilson launches into the meteor explanation. ‘Oh, here we go again with the popular consensus view of the K-Pg extinction event,’ she thinks. ‘I’ve explained the role of Deccan Traps volcanism a hundred times, but George always has to focus on the drama.’” –Peanut Gallery

“Slylock is a plainclothes detective, but he’s decided ‘plainclothes’ means ‘wearing a Sherlock Holmes costume.’”–Rita Lake

“The screech is not from tires or brakes; it is from Mary realizing a meddle is being stolen from her. I imagine it’s like the sound the Nazguls make.” –Professor Well Actually

“Toby has been surprised by a truck turning onto a two-lane state road with few intersections and no visual obstructions. That’s quite a feat for someone not actively looking at their phone.” –TheDiva

“Slylock Fox’s eyes narrowed, his agile mind calculating the precise amount of force to apply to Shady Shrew’s damage points to inflict maximum pain while leaving the criminal cruelly alive. Max, well-familiar with that face, got the ambulance on standby.” –Dr. Larry Erhardt

“I really dislike the artwork in Gil Thorp but I do like that first panel. ‘I was making money for my future, while you? You decided to be a hamburger. Great choice, loser.’” –BeckoningChasm

“I feel like this is actually a great multi-level joke. On the surface, Sarge is saying ‘Ha ha, here’s a mundane task involving a bucket!’ but on a deeper level he’s saying ‘Did you think you were going to die one day? No, those kinds of lists are for people with finite, changing lives. Yours stretches out to infinity but will remain unchanged for as long as you exist. This is your bucket, my friend, for now and forever.’” –pugfuggly

“We’re in this post-pandemic ‘return to normal’ phase right now, and it’s oddly comforting to see someone spitting on an employee in a public place.” –Joe Blevins

“And thus begins a storyline that’s bizarre even for Dick Tracy. Starbucks, fearing its local monopoly is threatened by Bean Howz, a second coffee shop opened by the owner of Howz You Bean?, sends in criminals to spit out the coffee and also, from the look of things, to be the only customers.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“Nobody with any sense of shame would display an acquaintance’s award in their home as if they earned it themself, so I’m looking forward to seeing the custom trophy case Les buys for this.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“When do you suppose the Hagar brain trust really felt they had nailed the identity of the hulking Irishman? Did the enormous shamrock pinned to his tunic seal the deal? The shock of red hair peeking out from underneath the leprechaun hat? Or was it the river of vomit cascading down his front that best said ‘Son of the Emerald Isle’?” –Vice President John Adams

“Absolutely no one who has met this man calls him Coffyhead. Asshole, Prick, Goddamn Jerk, Fuckhead McDoucheface, That Utter Piece of Shit, and many more names, yes. But I cannot believe for one moment anyone calls him Coffyhead.” –jroggs

“Your doting parents named you ‘Coffyhead,’ my dude, not ‘Coffeehead.’ With that moniker, you are contractually obligated to be a ride-or-die fan of the 1973 Blaxploitation film Coffy, starring Pam Grier and Booker Bradshaw. This is not to say you can’t also enjoy and be choosy about coffee — you can! — but please take care to apply your violent passion to the correct obsession. Apologize to this poor barista, drop a few bucks in the tip jar, and go watch your favorite movie in peace.” –els

“The villains are a bowtie-wearing coffee snob and a guy who obnoxiously insists on wearing a t-shirt when it’s snowing. I guess we’ve firmly settled that yes, Dick Tracy takes place in Chicago. Can’t wait to hear their Tarantino-esque pop culture driving conversation about the Mountain Goats playing the Old Town School.” –Dan

“Little did Grossie know that the only way to eliminate wrinkles in human skin is to remove folds, and the only way to remove folds was to remove her third dimension. But that was all right; having two dimensions was an improvement over the way she’s usually written.” –Voshkod

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