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Blondie, 7/27/20

Look, I’m not going to complain about Blondie doing a toilet paper shortage joke now even though the toilet paper shortage that marked the early pandemic has largely abated; I understand long syndicate lead times and such. I’m not even going to gripe about Blondie half-assing it when it comes to coronavirus jokes in general, doing strips that clearly reference the pandemic without fully integrating it into the characters’ world. It’s fine, really! You want to do some topical jokes but also don’t want to upend everything about how you do the strip! It’s really OK! What I do have a problem with is how today’s strip, in which the Bumstead family is so obviously overjoyed at Blondie’s shopping find, has forced me to contemplate everyone’s almost certainly poo-encrusted buttholes. Look at how excited Daisy is! What horrors has she seen?

Mark Trail, 7/27/20

Uhhh, it looks like the the abrupt end to James Allen’s time as Mark Trail’s writer/artist has resulted in the abrupt … suspension? … of the Jeremy Cartwright storyline four weeks later, with a sudden jump into an Elrod-era story of animal abandonment. Normally I love a good animal rescue story, of course, but still: did Jeremy ever get that drink or what???

Mary Worth, 7/27/20

“In a way, by helping Madi, she’s helping us again as well, since we won’t have to help Madi. We can enjoy ourselves here, far from Madi, until … when did her dad say he was getting back from Venezuela again? September?”

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/26/20

Well, it looks like we’re taking a trip through Retconned Memory Lane, where Melissa Claridge, a recurring character who had appeared in the strip for decades, including as recently as 2012, has now been whittled down to a spectral presence who manifested herself exactly once, to browbeat Rex into forming a heterosexual pair-bond with the last woman with whom he had any sustained interaction, and then vanished into the ether. Next up, apparently: remember the beloved running bit where people just gave Rex and June free stuff for no good reason? Well it’s happening again!

Panels from Hagar the Horrible, 7/26/20

I genuinely love today’s Hagar throwaway panels, in which Hagar essentially orders Lucky Eddie to clamber down a sheer cliff face in order to get the two of them some beers. Eddie’s dubious facial expression really makes it for me.

Panels from Gasoline Alley, 7/26/20

“Also, a hedge fund bought the bankrupt company that owned The Gazette and a bunch of other daily papers in mid-sized cities, and the new executives immediately laid off half the reporters and paid themselves big bonuses, but it’s probably the Little Orphan Annie thing that you’re noticing, sure.”

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Shoe, 7/25/20

I really enjoy how the eyes tell the whole story here. Shoe starts out heavy lidded — “Oh, a politician has started some gimmicky social media site to get a blip of attention in the news cycle, huh? Typical. What’s it called, I’m sure it’s dumb, lay it one me” — but once he hears the name and its naked declaration of political scam artistry, even his cynical soul is truly shaken, and his eyes bug out in horror. But the Perfesser, of course, already knows the name. He’s been through this cycle already, and his lids remain heavy, as he’s already been reset to an even deeper level of cynicism.

Hi and Lois, 7/25/20

Not much to say about this except that I find the phrase “I follow the meat” disturbing! I follow the meat, everyone! Referring to the plate of ribs, probably, but hey, the guy carrying the ribs is made of meat too! I follow the meat in all its forms.

The Lockhorns, 7/25/20

“Ha ha, get it? But seriously, she’s very depressed and nothing really helps.”