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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/16/19

I’m not sure what it is Jughaid thinks will be “gross”. It could be the process of transformation by which an amphibian becomes a man, which will no doubt involve skin stretching, bones snapping and mending and snapping again, and the strange, chimeric creature bellowing out in pain as every single cell transmutes into something different, on fire from whatever cursed witch’s magic turned him into a frog in the first place; on the other hand, it could just be Mary Beth kissing a frog, I suppose. Either way, he’s right to think that Jamey would want to see it! Not a lot by way of entertainment available around these parts.

Shoe, 8/16/19

Ha ha! It’s funny because the Perfesser will soon find himself both humiliated and impoverished by our medical system!

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/15/19

Oh, whoops, I haven’t been keeping you up to date on the antics in Rex Morgan, M.D., for which I apologize! The antics are as follows: Rex decided to tag along with the Lewtons Miss Galexia’s live performance, partly to help his patient break free from his delusional beliefs, but mostly because it would give him an opportunity to be as smugly self-righteous as possible, which we all know is sweetest high Rex can experience. And whaddya know, he was able to recognize his daughter’s old art teacher under that fake beard! It’s a pretty impressive feat to remain smugly self-righteous when threatening someone with mafia violence, but Rex is a real pro at this.

Marvin, 8/15/19

You know, considering how many Marvin punchlines revolve around Marvin not being potty trained, this strip seems to forget surprisingly often that Marvin is a literal baby, who shouldn’t be left alone out in the yard and who definitely isn’t tall enough to be looking through that window.

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Beetle Bailey, 8/14/19

The thing I like so much about today’s Beetle Bailey is how furious Major Greenbrass looks as General Halftrack delivers the punchline. I have to assume that he saw Halftrack set up the sign on his desk and asked about it, only to have the general say he’d explain once they got on the course. “This?” the major’s face says. “I waited that entire car ride over for this?”

Marvin, 8/14/19

Man, say what you will about all the excrement and urine content Marvin puts us through, but at least we can be thankful that we weren’t subjected to Marvin’s parents talking about sex in what I’m quite sure was an extremely unpleasant manner.

Pluggers, 8/14/19

“Pluggers used to love getting smashed, but now they gotta let a doctor put a camera up their butthole to make sure they’re not dying” sure is a mood for the middle of the week, am I right, folks? Let’s all just sit quietly here for a moment, plugger and non-plugger alike, and think about what the future, or maybe even the present, has in store for us.