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Folks, we’re still in the midst of a long holiday weekend here in the U.S., but I’m still plug(ger)ing away on my blog to bring you the comment … of the week!

“Henrietta Beak (not shown) is busy taking her company-paid holiday to celebrate the birth of our nation, like a true plugger patriot. Meanwhile, these lazy, self-entitled dog-men think they’re getting participation trophies for showing up when the job site is closed.” –Carsick Yankee

And also the hilarious runners up!

“‘I only wish my husband would not eat himself to the grave‘ is probably the most affectionate thing Martha has ever said in sixty years.” –Ettore

“Pluggers save their vacation for special occasions, like the opening of a new Golden Coral buffet and attending funerals of fellow pluggers.” –ZeroWolf

“What I find most interesting about this strip is that Alice attempts a punchline with ‘I think that’s why they call it working out.’ But it is so unfunny that Mrs. Wilson decides to just keep talking and pretend it didn’t happen. In the last panel, Dennis schools his mom by demonstrating that a quality Dennis the Menace punchline needs to be both a strained pun and a cheap shot at Mr. Wilson.” –Jenna

“Best part of Slylock Fox is the rage on Chief Mutt’s face as Wanda lies to him, and the downcast expressions of Slylock and Max, as they realize that yet again they will be called on to perjure themselves in the police brutality investigation.” –Rube

“I think the humans take it in turns to commit petty crimes like this so the Glorious Animal Regime’s top enforcer will spend all his time focusing on them and ignore the real work of the Resistance. Next week is Slick Smitty’s turn, and he’s got an ‘Authentic Antarctic Polar Bear Fur’ scam all lined up.” –TheDiva

“Yes, these hot dogs sure are a quintessential part of summer. Now let’s go to family court and try to win back custody of Trixie.” –Joe Blevins

“Ha, I like how Mary looks directly to the reader in that last panel. ‘I love filling for him while he’s away, just like you, my audience, loves it too. It’s so much nicer when we can just dispense with the plot and get straight to the raw, uncut advice, isn’t it?’” –pugfuggly

“I defected from the NBA. But it seems the Party’s tentacles reach even into Virginia. Now we need your help to throw them off my trail. We figure you’re the last person they’d associate with professional sports.” –Peanut Gallery

“I’m disappointed that the camera in Mary Worth is just going to linger on Charterstone and not on the drama in Mozambique, as the long-simmering civil war between RENAMO and FRELIMO finally comes to an end as the two sides unite in their hatred of Wilbur.” –Voshkod

“Sam just can’t wait to unload that kid. ‘Here, go play with…’ Abby gives him the evil eye and a quick shake of her head. ‘Sophie! Yeah, Sophie. She’s got to be around somewhere.’” –Col. Havoc

Randy, no! Look, why don’t you take out your resentments by going back to work and throwing the book at a bunch of people for minor offenses? Lock them up for 10-20 years for shoplifting or whatever. Make them suffer like your dad is. Vicarious revenge can be a wonderful tonic.” –cheech wizard

Today’s Judge Parker presents a real… SOPHIE’S CHOICE. Oh and I think her WASP dad is dying or got fired? IDK” –Irrischano

“Now, a clever bad guy would have let the three of them dig all the gold out of the mine, and then show up with the gun. Now he has to shoot them all and then do all that work. Gold is heavy.” –Ukulele Ike

“Sure, we all know that Pluggers, Slylock Fox, and probably Shoe are set after the Great Disaster from Kamandi: Last Boy on Earth, but for my money not enough is made of the fact Beetle Bailey is about a supposed US Army regiment that has zero contact with the greater military organisation, is never actually deployed anywhere, has a surprisingly small contingent with an oddly flattened rank structure (a general, a major, two lieutenants, two sergeants, one corporal, eight privates, and a handful of civilian staff), and is clearly home to one of Count Weirdly’s early experiments in ripping off Dr Moreau. The reason I bring this up today is because I notice Sarge’s flag only has five stripes, presumably symbolising the five regions of America (probably not actually entire states) which have not been conquered by the beastmen. Actually, Camp Swampy hasn’t heard from any of the others in a while, but you have to hope for the best, right?” –Horace Broon

Getting hit on the head with a greasy spatula on a regular basis might explain why his hair has always had that luxurious sheen.” –Where’s Rocky

“I’m pretty sure Gil not asking for details has less to do with his penis, and more to do with him not giving a shit.” –Rosstifer

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Gil Thorp, 7/5/19

Welp, now that we got the whole Jaquan-Hadley backstory set up, how about jumping into … another storyline from days past!!!! This one is from last fall, when it turned out that transfer student Tiki Jansen was using an empty apartment as his address so he could go to Milford, because he “got crosswise” with the bad kids at his old school. How will these plots come together? Will fighting lawyer Hadley V. Baxendale represent Tiki pro bono? Or, since his parents can apparently afford to rent an entire apartment for address fraud purposes, represent him pro very very, expensive-o?

Hagar the Horrible, 7/5/19

How many long-winded word balloons like Eddie’s in panel one will we have to endure before his mother’s brother finally invents the word “uncle”?

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Gil Thorp, 7/4/19

Readers: I hereby apologize for ever doubting the continuity-respecting bona fides of the Gil Thorp creative team. Faithful reader Downpuppy pointed me to the GoComics Without GoComics archive site created by long-ago (and perhaps still current?) faithful reader commodorejohn, which fills in some of the gaps in my sadly deficient coverage of Gil Thorp in 2005. I had completely forgotten that Jaquan was not a brand-new character when he showed up with Trey Davis a couple summers ago; in fact, back in 2005, he had been Jaquan “The Don,” a superstar player at local high school powerhouse Bishop Tardy, which blew into Milford to take on the Mudlarks, media circus in tow. Hadley stumbled on Jaquan hiding out in the library and reading books like a nerd, and later convinced him to go to college instead of jumping straight to the NBA. A decade or so later, Hadley, who became a lawyer and apparently abandoned her ideals to represent big-shot clients who could gift her front-row Bulls tickets, reconnected with Jaquan during a game, and here we are! All’s well that ends well, with rhyming!

Mark Trail, 7/4/19

Ah ha, it seems JJ didn’t drown after all. Nope, he used the flood as a distraction to separate from the group with the map so he could get to the gold mine first, probably hoping that the rest of them would wander around the desert and eventually give up and go home. Sadly, he didn’t count on Doc’s perfect memory, so now he’s gonna have to shoot them. Hey Doc, bet you’re sorry you did all those crosswords to stay sharp now!

Beetle Bailey, 7/4/19

Ah, it’s July 4th, and you know what that means for Beetle Bailey, the only comic focusing on America’s military: another episode about the tedious interpersonal drama between Sarge and Beetle. But … are we missing something? Something about this date that we should probably be covering? Probably not, but if need be we can wedge in a visual reference to it at the last minute.