Post Content

Dennis the Menace, 4/1/19

There were a bunch of comics today whose “punchlines” involved characters playing April Fools Day pranklets on each other, and it really affirmed my cranky opinions that (a) April Fools Day is dumb and (b) there are few things less funny in a comic strip than characters doing things that are supposed to be funny within the universe of the comic strip. Still, I kind of enjoyed today’s Dennis the Menace, because in the first panel, we can see that Mr. Wilson’s curmudgeonly demeanor around Dennis is no act. He harbors no secret affection for the lad who’s apparently in his house virtually every day. Nobody’s looking at him here; his face is turned away from Martha, so there’s nobody he’s putting on a performance for. He’s genuinely ecstatic that the little boy who’s made a mockery of the peaceful retirement he spent a lifetime saving for is leaving, and when he finds out that’s a lie — a lie all the more cruel because it comes from his wife, the woman who knows more than anyone how much he wants it to be true — he’s utterly crushed. APRIL FOOLS!!!!!! :) :) :)

Funky Winkerbean, 4/1/19

Funky Winkerbean, to its credit, constantly does the bit where one character tells a joke that utterly fails to land and then has to explain or justify it, and that explanation is somehow supposed to be the “punchline” of the comic. This strip doesn’t need April Fools Day as an opportunity demonstrate that the whole process of trying to make other people laugh is a frustrating and ultimately fruitless endeavor.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/1/19

I love how completely gobsmacked Sarah looks in the final panel here. “You mean … there are adults who react to events with normal human emotions, rather than just suffocating everything with a comforting blanket of smug superiority? Unheard of!”

Post Content

Funky Winkerbean, 3/31/19

Hey, how’s it going with Funky’s mother-in-law moving in with him and Holly? Well, it’s been, what, two weeks, and already he’s hoping she’s gonna die of a pill overdose on the toilet.

Mary Worth, 3/31/19

Folks, take it from me, a guy who spends way too much time hanging out alone with, and talking to, cats: when you try to convince your cat that you’re making the right decision, you know in your heart you aren’t making the right decision.

Panels from Beetle Bailey, 3/31/19

If you’re a regular reader of this blog, it will come as no surprise to you that I’m the kind of guy who would read these throwaway panels in Sunday’s Beetle Bailey and wonder, “Say, can you stream old Lassie episodes?” Turns out you can’t! So that means I have to smugly give these panels “four pinocchios,” in the parlance of our fact-checking press. Unless … there’s a special Dogflix service that provides streaming dog-related content, and it’s only available to dogs? This is a mystery I will now dedicate my entire energy to cracking!

Post Content

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/30/19

I’m not sure which I find more disturbing: the physical configuration of Snuffy’s body, which appears to be lazily half-flopping off the bed as he refuses to put even the least bit of effort into maintaining his dignity, or the topography of the Smif property, which is now revealed to be riven by one of Hootin’ Holler’s innumerable chasms. At least we now have an explanation of why Loweezy is willing to stand for so long by the mailbox, waiting for missives from the outside world to arrive.

Judge Parker, 3/30/19

Oh, hey, it turns out the reason Marie’s husband Roy faked his death is that he was deep in debt to the mob — like, $1.3 million dollars deep — and now they’re gonna come after Marie! Of course, the Parker-Drivers are famous for writing large checks to make problems go away for the family, but Marie’s not exactly family, is she? So, who do we think the “people” Sam knows are who he’s going to foist Marie off onto? I’m guessing it’s the big shot Hollywood agent who he connected with the rural marijuana farmer back in 2012. Hope that mineshaft is still climate controlled!

Zits, 3/30/19

I know this supposed to be “the newspaper comics poking fun at itself,” but I dearly hope it’s actually presaging a vicious feud on the funny pages. Watch out, 90-year-old legacy strips! Young whippersnappers that have only been on the comics pages for a mere 20 years — the blink of an eye, really — are coming for you!