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Beetle Bailey, 1/14/26

I feel like if you have an elderly authority figure looking startled and somewhat confused and shouting “Take some notes!” and then immediately afterwards passing out, and his subordinates are gleeful about it because it means they don’t have to do work, that’s a little less “Ha, this is a zany situation” and a little more elder abuse. It’s sadly not that unheard of for a powerful but ailing person’s staff to basically puppet them for an extended period of time, and it’s all fun and games until, in this case, the area of the United States protected by Camp Swampy is invaded by enemy forces and no competent general officer is present to coordinate defensive operations.

Mary Worth, 1/14/26

I’m not sure how old Ian is supposed to be so I guess I won’t call this “elder abuse” per se but it’s clear that his mind has been broken by Toby and Sunny. Look at his sleepy, dopey smile as Sunny cackles evilly literally inches in front of his face! This is some real “He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother” shit right here, only with a parrot.

Shoe, 1/14/26

To me, one of the most depressing things about the Perfesser and Skyler’s home is that there’s exactly one place to sit in their living room, which tells us volumes about the relationship between the uncle and his barely tolerated nephew/ward. Today we see that even when they eat out together, the Perfesser insists on sitting as far away from his nephew as possible.

Luann, 1/14/26

When I started commenting on Luann again, did I know things were going to end up less than a year later with Luann getting propositioned to go fuck over by the dumpsters? No, of course not. Obviously not. Different choices would’ve been made had I known, I’ll tell you that much.

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Shoe, 1/11/26

Did, uh, did you know that “naked running” means running without music? I myself did not, and I can’t find much evidence that this is a phrase particularly widely known by others; it’s the name of a company that makes belts for running, and sometimes it’s used more broadly to mean running without any kind of gadgets. But a little poking around to research this turned up this post in a UK running group on Facebook, and, uh, do you think the syndicated newspaper comic strip Shoe stole a joke from a UK running group on Facebook? Who’s to say. We should mostly focus our energy on praying that the brain trust over there never gets wind of “rawdogging.”

Mary Worth, 1/11/26

God damn it, Sunny! Ian was so close to the sweet relief of death! So close! You’ve thwarted him once again!

Pluggers, 1/11/26

Look, man, people often yell at me for being a coastal elitist because I make fun of the pluggers in Pluggers, but today’s strip is about how pluggers would rather eat fast food than exercise and they won’t even get out of their car to do it, and I didn’t write this joke. A faithful reader of the strip did, and he sent it into the syndicate, and then they drew it and put it in the newspaper! I’m not the mean one here!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 1/11/26

Good lord, they murdered that turkey. He was so happy to survive the carnage but then they murdered him and ate him! With big stupid grins on their faces!

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Alice, 12/22/25

One of the distinctive features of Alice comics is the little … title? caption? … that goes in the bottom margin. Usually it just sort of adds to the vibe, but sometimes it’s important for the narrative. For instance, real Alice fans (which I assume include all of you) know that just a few weeks ago she was declaring that new cars don’t need “all that stuff,” and it’s making them too expensive. So you’d be tempted to angrily declare “Alice! I can’t believe you’re backsliding on all the features new cars have!” except then you look down at the bottom of the panel and see the word “backsliding,” so you know she’s being self-aware about it.

Shoe, 12/22/25

Speaking of real fans, real Shoe fans instantly recognize “Madame Zoo Doo,” the strip’s resident psychic, just from her character design. I personally don’t think it’s realistic that she’d bring her crystal ball with her to lunch at Roz’s diner. It’s not necessary and frankly a little insulting to think that we wouldn’t recognize her without it. I demand that my relationship with this syndicated newspaper comic about depressed bird-people be grounded in mutual respect!

Mary Worth, 12/22/25

Wait, is Toby changing her plans because she wants to spend more time with Sunny, and she can’t at her friend’s opening? Because “A semi-professional art gallery in a small California college town has a strict no-birds policy” is actually one of the less realistic propositions Mary Worth has ever offered us.