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Comics archive! Shoe

Exhausted long-running comic strips

Momma, 10/27/15

This strip’s been running for 45 years, OK? You try coming up with new things for Momma to be annoying about. “Not understanding standard English idioms” is certainly preferable to Oedipal horror.

Shoe, 10/27/15

I was going to make fun of the Perfersser to reacting so negatively to this slur against his hometown — he is, with his defeated slouch and his hand at rest inside a chip bag, part of the very problem being mocked — but then I wondered if the whole thing wasn’t a cry for help on the part of the artist. “Look, I thought I could wring endless funnies out of a town of bird-men, but I can’t, OK? I’m bored. I’m so bored. This bird-man who can’t even muster the energy to lift his hand-wing out of the bag of potato chips … that bird-man is me. I am that bird-man.”

Apartment 3-G, 10/27/15

Ooh, Apartment 3-G plans to go out with a bang by assembling all of Margo’s boyfriends at her bedside! That’s Greg, who used to be Margo’s boyfriend and also played James Bond, in the movies, no big deal. Who else will be showing up to proclaim their love to Margo’s unconscious form? Scarf-wearing architect Trey? FBI Pete? Will they be bringing any of Lu Ann or Tommie’s exes with them? (Haha, just kidding, nobody cares about Lu Ann or Tommie’s exes.)

Apologies in advance for vaguely political content, I think you’ll see that it was worth it

Mary Worth, 10/22/15

You guys! Remember beloved ancillary Mary Worth character Olive, from last year, who had angelic visions and also some kind of cysts that her terrible parents tried to have removed by a doctor who Olive hated and feared, so she fled to the pool but Mary saved her and then her parents were like, hmm, maybe we shouldn’t have our daughter operated on by a guy literally named Dr. Kapuht who’s also a junkie, and then Mary told her that she should always act on her most powerful delusions, which she claimed were the result of some weird tummy-brain rather than divine revelation. Olive and her terrible parents moved back to New York, and Mary was extremely cagey about coming to visit, which makes sense because normally grown adults don’t fly across the country to hang out with, you know, children they aren’t related to. But, whatever! Santa Royale is dullsville now that Toby and Ian aren’t getting divorced and lord knows Mary doesn’t want to spend any more time than she has to with Dr. Jeff. Hopefully she’ll take the time to let Olive’s parents know she’s coming out; it’d be awkward if she arrived at their apartment and interrupted their near-constant sexing.

Apartment 3-G, 10/22/15

“Good news, Gaby! Your daughter, who may or may not be responsive, will probably recognize your voice, despite the coma that she may or may not be in!” Wow, it’s a good thing that a medical professional with a great bedside manner is delivering this news. Thank goodness Tommie stopped Eric from running in all half-cocked.

Bizarro, 10/22/15

I’m actually not 100% sure on what the joke here is supposed to be, but I think Bizarro artist Dan Piraro lives in Los Angeles, and it’s possible that he saw the same … duck? goose? waterfowl of indeterminate species? … that my wife and I spotted last month in Echo Park that looked so much like Donald Trump that she was moved to take a picture:

I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.

Shoe, 10/22/15

Look, Perfesser, I know Skyler is a ward whose presence in your home and life you barely tolerate, but he’s a bird about to hit puberty (pu-bird-y?) and if you don’t have this talk soon he’s going to try to fuck some bees

There’s nothing that grouchy middle-aged academics like more than surprises

Mary Worth, 10/12/15

Maybe I was a little too hasty in writing off the end of this storyline as a fizzle yesterday. After all, they couldn’t really be setting up the whole rest of the week as some glurgy sentimental reunion of the star-crossed Camerons, could they? I mean, yes, they could, they totally could, but I’m going to chose to read heavily into the surprised angle and hope against hope that this surprise is going to be less than pleasant! Will Ian come stumbling home with his new girlfriend? With his new boyfriend, Hilton Berkes, with Ian’s crush being painfully obvious in retrospect? Will Ian just be so startled by Toby’s presence that he’ll suffer a fatal heart attack, leaving Toby wailing and bereft? Or maybe just a minor cardiac event that will be embarrassing for everyone concerned? Can’t wait!

Dick Tracy, 10/12/15

The fact that Dick Tracy’s Neo-Chicago is apparently in the grip of a multi-week crime wave ought to be proof to anyone that brutal, civil-liberties-violating law enforcement doesn’t actually improve public safety.

Shoe, 10/12/15

Let’s ignore, for the moment, the fact that this joke implies that Mort charges admission to funerals, an innovative but to my knowledge unheard of mortuary business model, and instead focus on the important thing, which is that all of Biz’s friends are dying.