Apartment 3-G, 10/30/14
Oh, goody, you know I love an Apartment 3-G flashback! I’m guessing that this giant 4 x 6 photo at which Margo is lovingly gazing (she keeps it in her purse, for convenient loving gazing action) is neither of long-ago love FBI Pete (even though she went ahead and had a captioned beach-frolicking photo of the two of them framed for some reason) nor of Trey, the sexy bescarfèd architect who redesigned the Mills Gallery for free in a doomed attempt to win Margo’s heart. No, I think we all know that the closest Margo ever came to true love was Mills Gallery founder Eric Mills, who knew that Margo valued power over mewling, pathetic artists more than a wedding ring. Unfortunately, the two of them could never be together because he was only sexually attracted to gas grills. Ha ha, just kidding! He actually died in an avalanche trying to sneak the Panchen Lama out of Tibet, which I swear I’m not making up.
Mary Worth, 10/30/14
“Ladies, plural? Ha ha ha young man, no, you don’t understand, only one of us needs to be confined to this caring, fun-filled elder-containment facility. I myself have fantastic vision and a very important job as manager of a condominium complex and can’t possibly–” “ALRIGHT JOE GET THE STRAIGHTJACKET AND THE TASER, WE’VE GOT A LIVE ONE”
Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/30/14
Good lord, Sarah, it’s like you don’t even know the first rule of working with mobsters, which, obviously, is “don’t be a snitch.”
Pluggers, sadly, know exactly how much their time is worth.
Mark Trail, 10/24/14
Well now we know how Woods And Wildlife Magazine editor Bill Ellis can afford that fancy penthouse office! “Mark, I want you to take a trip to the swamp and do a story on the diversity of animal species found there! No, for God’s sake, don’t actually mention this Petroxx Chemical mine business. The Marigold and Philip T. Oxenham Foundation — ‘helping build a more verdant and prosperous world since 2003′ — is W&W’s biggest advertiser, and Phil Oxenham is Petroxx Chemical’s CEO, so we can’t afford to piss him off. Just … just write about all the different kinds of critters that live in the dumb swamp and let’s hope the right people see it and hopefully this’ll all work itself out, OK? I’ll send a copy to Phil, maybe he’ll put some money into whatever safety equipment the unions are bitching about this month. That’ll be a win-win for everyone!”
I am sincerely enjoying the look of shock and alarm on the she-plugger’s face in this panel as she swivels her head around to look at that timer. “Oh my goodness! For whom is this bell tolling? Does it toll … for me?”
Gil Thorp, 10/24/14
Welp, looks like we’ve hit the point in this storyline where the Mudlark coaching staff let someone else do their coaching for them! Usually this person is the janitor or just whatever crazy old coot wanders onto the practice field, so it’s actually kind of refreshing that this year it’s a player, at least.
Apartment 3-G, 10/22/14
Oh, look, we’re revisiting the other key aspects of the Margo was and I guess still is a publicist storyline, which are that when Margo cruelly rejected Skyler as a potential client, Skyler was cast as the new Bond girl, in a James Bond movie, opposite Margo’s boyfriend, who was playing James Bond, one of the highest-profile movie roles in existence. Naturally she did such a lousy job as his publicist that her own roommates didn’t realize he’d landed the part, and his mom didn’t want to hang out with him on Christmas. Anyway, he went away to England to film the movie and then they … stopped dating? I guess? I guess Skyler is supposed to be gently ribbing Margo on this point — “I don’t have to tell you that, because you ‘worked with’ him, by which I mean your genitals ‘worked with’ his genitals, in a sex way.” I’m not sure if Margo is being haughtily sarcastic in panel two or has just genuinely forgotten what this plot was about. It was all a long time ago!
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/22/14
The tragic illiteracy of so many of Hootin’ Holler’s voters goes a long way towards explaining why the community is so poorly governed.
Pluggers only make the same four recipes over and over again, because they fear change and anything that seems even vaguely exotic. They’re also going to die soon!