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THE GOLD STAFF OF IMMORTALITY! No, wait mortality, it represents mortality, never mind

Gasoline Alley, 5/26/16

Gasoline Alley seems a little too square to engage in metanarrative chicanery, but how else should we interpret today’s strip? After weeks and weeks of a boring, convoluted prison break storyline featuring some of the strip’s most irritating recurring characters, we suddenly switch back to Walt, complaining that the ceremony in which he received the Golden Cane Of Agedness from the mayor, which we never saw in the strip, wasn’t covered properly in the media. Poor Walt! Anyway, I’m very intrigued that whatever municipality he lives in has an expensive object that can literally only be taken from its owner by prying it out of their dead, cold hands.

Mark Trail, 5/26/16

OK, let’s be real: the last few weeks of “Mark ’n’ friends try and fail to escape from the cave” have been super boring. But today at least Chekhov’s rock-climbing gun, which was prominently mounted on the wall of the set in the first act, finally goes off. We also some mid-air derring do, as Mark and Carina almost tumble to their death off a cave waterfall but Mark saves them at the last minute by jamming his rock … climbing … axe … thingy into the cliff wall. And kudos to the strip for taking as much care to acknowledge the biology of Homo sapiens as it does for the other animals it covers; whereas most action movies feature characters grabbing onto things in mid-fall and suffering no ill-effects, Mark has saved himself and Carina at the cost of shattering his rib cage, just as he would in real life.

Family Circus, 5/26/16

Haha, I love PJ’s look of heavy-lidded disdain here. “God damn it, Jeffy, enough with this ‘everyone has a valid perspective’ bullshit. Kill the wolf! Kill it!

Metapost: Mell Lazarus, 1927-2016

Just a brief, sad post to note that Momma creator Mell Lazarus passed away yesterday. I believe the strip has actually been in reruns for some time, so I’m not sure how much longer those will run. I liked to make fun of the strip, obviously, but it definitely had a distinct and honestly very weird sensibility that I enjoyed.

Anyway, this is as good a place as any to repeat my very favorite anecdote about Momma, which is that the strip’s title character was very obviously based on Lazarus’s mother, but she somehow convinced herself that it was based on her sister. RIP Mell.

Quotable Wednesday

Mary Worth, 5/25/16

“Look, it’s not physical at all! It’s spiritual. Like, the first time we did yoga together in his tiny little apartment, I knew he was my ‘guru,’ which means ‘teacher’ in Hindi, a language neither of us speak. So we’re not having sex, but I am a blind devotee to his every whim! Would I die for him? You bet! Kill for him? Absolutely! Have sex with him? Definitely! Have I been having sex with him already? Yeah, for like three weeks now! Wait, did I say that last part out loud?”

Dennis the Menace, 5/25/16

“How much blood must I wade through, father? How much carnage before the world is purified?”