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Wednesday short cuts

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The 2015 Spring Fundraiser is in full swing — don’t miss your chance for a Comics Curmudgeon tote bag and hand-crafted Matt Crowe refrigerator magnet. Contribute now!

Dick Tracy, 4/22/15

Any gang that attracts Neil Young, Hercule Poirot, and Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn is a force to be reckoned with.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/22/15

Rex Morgan explores the narrow isthmus of moral terrain between “social-media shaming” and “mob hit.”

Gasoline Alley, 4/22/15

Ooh, ooh, pick me — I know this one! Parasitoids! Right, Mrs. Hatley?

Mark Trail, 4/22/15

“If this works, some of your trees might potentially not get too damaged — so it’s possible not all your years of effort were wasted, and you might not have to go completely bankrupt quite as quickly! It’s like it’s your birthday or something!”

–Uncle Lumpy

Regardless, I think brontosaurus deserves its victory lap

Click the banner to contribute to the Comics Curmudgeon. Details here.

Hey, it’s the 2015 Spring Fundraiser, and a chance to score some great swag from Josh’s crawlspace. Please help keep the comics alive and mocked online!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/21/15

As Chief Information Security Officer for the Holler, Loweezy routinely runs white-hat penetration tests like this one on its HootinNet® communications infrastructure. She also makes sure everyone’s properly encryptin’ everthin’, and continues her longstanding Denial of Service attack against Snuffy — the disastrous “Tater Breach” still fresh in her mind. We shall not speak of honeypots, or backdoor exploits.

Crankshaft, 4/21/15

We interrupt our “failed sad-sack theater owner runs for mayor” story for the latest skirmish in Ed’s long war on his persistent and capricious nasal blackheads (8 today!). Pam did her best, but apparently the belt sander was no match. I’d go with a 50-grit, but she’s the one who has to clean up.

“Sideophex” (dialone unmorndibab) is doubtless one of those new immunosuppressants you see all over the teevee, where celebrities or big “real-world models” stride confidently about while a honey-voiced announcer purrs, “Listen up, people – this suppresses your immune system, and you really, really don’t want your immune system suppressed. I mean, unless you want to die from one of those diseases you thought antibiotics killed off a century ago. Seriously folks, you are flirting with an iron lung here, do not take these pills. Oh, hi Ed. Three a day, after meals. First pack’s free; I’m thinking you won’t need a second. Don’t operate machinery for a while, m’kay? We’ve got plenty of machinery lined up for you later.”

B.C., 4/21/15

Wow, this one’s really hard to unpack. In case you don’t follow controversies in evolutionary theory or this strip, here’s some background:

  • Many Bible-based theories of life’s origins hold that humans and dinosaurs must have coexisted
  • The brontosaurus, long thought to be a paleontologist’s error, is back in the game
  • Ken Ham is the founder and author of Answers in Genesis, a Christian apologetics ministry and book
  • Under Johnny Hart, B.C. often covered Christian themes and sometimes explicitly proselytized.

OK, so WTF? Ken Ham presumably wouldn’t care about the brontosaurus/apatosaurus controversy, but why would he “eat (his) heart out” at evidence that dinosaurs and humans coexisted? Maybe Peter thinks Ham will be jealous that it’s some caveman who coexists with dinosaurs, and not Ham himself? Maybe it’s just clumsy phrasing, and the intent was something like, “Here’s one for you, Ken Ham”? Or maybe the new author is less committed to a religious point of view than to B.C.’s fundamental principle, incoherence? Anyway, I’m surprised that an outfit called “The Creator’s Syndicate” doesn’t take a dim view of the whole thing, and you do not want to mess with those guys.

–Uncle Lumpy

Spring fundraiser: enter … the crawlspace!

Click the banner to contribute to the Comics Curmudgeon. Details here.

Twice a year, I host a fundraiser to augment Josh’s income from the lucrative standup-comedy business, and thank him for the time, effort, and talent he puts into the Comics Curmudgeon every day. What’s that you say? “Yes, yes Uncle Lumpy, we pretty much know the drill by now, but what’s this ‘crawlspace’ business?”

Well asked! It turns out that however stylish and comfortable it may be, Josh’s and Amber’s new digs in L.A. are a little, um, compact. So some of the treasures left over from fundraisers of yore went into storage, under the house. Check it out:

What kind of treasures? Well, Comics Curmudgeon tote bags, for one:

And classic Rex Morgan, M.D., Judge Parker, and Mary Worth refrigerator magnets handmade by superfan Matt Crowe, for two:

Now, those treasures are coming out! Every contributor of $5 or more will receive a legacy comic magnet from this lovingly curated (and carefully preserved) collection. And contributors of $25 or more will receive both a magnet and a stylish and highly collectible tote bag! Finally, every contributor of any amount will receive the grateful thanks of Josh, me, the entire worldwide Comics Curmudgeon fan base, and posterity.

To contribute by credit card or PayPal, click the banner at the top of the page and follow the instructions on the secure PayPal site. To contribute by check or money order, email and I’ll reply with an address. Full details here.

As an added treat, I’ve dug through my own personal crawlspace (don’t ask) to select all-time best fundraising banners — more than 100 in all from the past seven years — now in rotation at the top of the page. Enjoy revisiting beloved characters from the past, or see the index on the “full details” page for even more time-wastin’ fun.

Thank you, generous readers!

– Uncle Lumpy