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Archive: Dennis the Menace

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Unhappy marriages, each unhappy in their own way

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Dennis the Menace, 6/4/20

This is definitely the most erotic Dennis the Menace panel I can remember seeing in some time! I guess the joke is that Alice is exhausted because she has no access to childcare, which is why she’s been on her feet all day and also why Dennis is sitting there staring at her while she’s in the dentist chair, but the way she and the dentist are gazing into each other’s eyes definitely seems like things are about to get real romantic real fast, which is why it’s so unsettling that Dennis is sitting there staring at her. Couldn’t she have just left him at the Wilsons’ house? Like, he clearly spends several hours a day there anyway.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/4/20

Ha ha, Les did forget that his own wife works at the same school where he works, probably, but honestly, did she even need some sort of inside information to know that Les is having a bad day? Bad days are the only kind of days Les has. He needs them, to live.

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UPDATE ON MY LIVE COMEDY SHOW THAT WAS SCHEDULED TO HAPPEN TOMORROW: We the comics who were going to be in that show do not feel like it’s a particularly “funny” time to be in America right now! We’re postponing it to a later date. If you’ve written to me asking for the Zoom URL for the show, I have your email and I’ll send it when I have a new date/and time! And if you want to be on that list, email me at jfruh@jfruh.com.

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Sheep, those notoriously playful animals

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Mark Trail, 5/24/20

Hey, kids, you might think that Communism in general, and longtime Hungarian Socialist Workers’ Party General Secretary János Kádár in particular, are pretty cool. But would any just political system have made these adorable fuzzy pigs into an endangered species? Say what you will about the authoritarian tendencies of current Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orbán, but the mangalitsa is back, baby!

Funky Winkerbean, 5/24/20

The current story of Hollywood is that mid-budget movies have essentially ceased to exist, which means that directors usually leap directly from tiny indies to huge comic-book blockbusters; this has been the trajectory of Taika Waititi (who went from twee, offbeat New Zealand comedies to Thor: Ragnarok) and Colin Trevorrow (who made Safety Not Guaranteed for $750,000 and then did Jurassic World and almost got to do a Star Wars). But in the Funkyverse, where everything is backwards and people apparently find Les Moore not just likable but admirable, Mason is going to convince his pal to go the other way, from making millions from Starbuck Jones, an exciting movie that apparently many people enjoyed, to directing the maudlin, unwatchable Lisa’s Story, sure, why not!

Dennis the Menace, 5/24/20

Guys, today’s Dennis the Menace, in which Dennis never appears and his parents are the real dog-neglecting menace, tantalizes us with the vision of a version of this strip that’s just day after day of Mr. Wilson coming up with petty acts of revenge on everyone who’s ever wronged him, and honestly? I’ve never wanted anything more.

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Looks like “The Mayor”’s been [puts on sunglasses] impeached

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Gil Thorp, 5/18/20

Oh, wow, it turns out Mike “The Mayor” hasn’t just been suspended or kicked off the team for his knifecrime; he’s been expelled from school, which has him understandably soured on the American education system! Still, I don’t like the sneering way he labels a woman who I assume is his mom as a mere “real estate appraiser” unfit to deliver insights into Southern Gothic literature or whatever. You can learn a lot from a real estate appraiser! Obviously they use a lot of applied math in their job, and they’re mostly independent small business people with a lot of practical knowledge of what that entails. They also are pretty attuned to the nuances of the real estate market, and how it’s connected to both macroeconomic and socioeconomic conditions — and because they go inside a lot of people’s homes while they’re still living in them, they can tell you quite a bit about the diversity of human private lives. That’s gotta be good for, what, a week or two of home-schooling, until Gil grandstands at a school board meeting and Mike’s back in class, stabbing whoever he wants?

Dennis the Menace, 5/18/20

The gap between “Margaret has a weird romantic obsession with Dennis” and “All the things that are ‘annoying’ about Margaret are actually future marketable skills, whereas all the things that are annoying about Dennis are actually annoying” has never been greater than it is today. Margaret is sitting there with a Bluetooth headset and a laptop because, I assume, she has an actual white-collar job now, whereas Dennis isn’t even making a joke here, he’s just painfully stupid. Painfully stupid. And by Margaret’s face, she may have finally wised up.

Mary Worth, 5/18/20

“No resistance on his part? Or did he stay behind enemy lines, plotting with confederates, importing weapons with the help of British spies, occasionally assassinating Gestapo officers, and preparing for the day when the rest of the Allies and an army of colonial troops would arrive on his shores, and your relationship would once again be liberated from the boche, who I guess is Jared, in this scenario?