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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/10/19

Back in 2018 Snuffy woke his father from a decades-long slumber, presumably to the great joy of his family and other community members who had long ago written him off for dead. Now, not even two years later, it appears that everyone is already sick of the elder Smif, no doubt because of his incorrigible criminality.

Blondie, 8/10/19

Sometimes Dagwood and Blondie seem like a mismatched pair, but panel one proves they really have simpatico worldviews. “Look at that asshole,” they sneer, “trying something daring and exciting that we would never even consider doing. Does he think he’s better than us? Fuck that guy.”

Gil Thorp, 8/10/19

Ah, I see Hadley has reached the “What is truth? Can we ever fully grasp reality? Isn’t it up to each of us to interpret the flickering shadows of sensation on the wall of our cave the best we can, just as Plato explained?” portion of her pitch to the school board.

Hi and Lois, 8/10/19

Welp, it looks like the Flagstons’ golfrodisiac fun has run its course. Back to soul-crushing, sexless suburban conformity for this pair!

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Gil Thorp, 8/5/19

“Here’s what I’m thinking, Mr. Ballard. Why don’t you stop thinking of your job as determining the best and fairest set of rules for your school district and then making sure everyone follows those rules regardless of their status, and instead realizing what it really is: a means to grease the skids for people with enough power and influence to make life unpleasant for you if you don’t let them do what they want? Don’t worry, you won’t have to actually let anyone else bend the rules like this in the future, unless they also have a friend who’s a bored high-powered lawyer. Just do this one thing this one time and all your problems go away, probably!”

Hi and Lois, 8/5/19

Ha ha, it’s funny because Trixie views her place in the Flagston household as perpetually contingent, and worries she could be thrown in the trash at any time! Her parents do just ignore her for hours out of the day while she crawls around the house unsupervised, which might have something to do with it.

Dick Tracy, 8/5/19

Theater people??? Doing drugs???? UNHEARD OF

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Pluggers, 7/29/19

What is the facial expression on this plugger supposed to be conveying? Is it a sly smile? Is this plugger thinking about how he “accidentally” left the house without his suspenders today? How his pants might just “accidentally” fall down, and there would be no way for him to stop it? Oops! How embarrassing! How naughty! Everyone will be able to see! It’s not his fault, he just forgot, but I suppose sometimes we need to be punished for our mistakes.

Gil Thorp, 7/29/18

Welp, it looks like Hadley has figured out what she’s doing with her summer, which is idly threatening to personally sue school board members for preventing Tiki Jansen from attending school in a district he doesn’t live in. Hey, you ever hear about poor parents who fudge their address so their kids can go to school in a better, wealthier school district and up getting sent to jail? Really too bad that none of those kids were on a varsity team with a coach who could connect them with a bored, unethical lawyer, huh?

Hi and Lois, 7/29/18

Look, Lois, Hi doesn’t give a shit about his dumb job or his mediocre salary. You know what Hi cares about? Golf. Winning at golf makes him horny as hell, and you’re clearly pretty pleased about the result, so let’s not quibble about the motivations.

Shoe, 7/29/19

Ha ha, it’s funny because Skyler, much like his uncle, is terribly depressed! Also a bird? A bird that, like all modern birds, doesn’t have teeth? And thus would have no use for orthodontia?