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Mary Worth, 10/27/17

Hey, guys, it’s Zak! Zak’s back! Remember how Iris dumped Zak, partly because she couldn’t stop thinking about Wilbur, but also partly because he was too young for her and also kinda dumb? Welp, ever since Wilbur dumped her, Iris has had some chances to re-evaluate things, and here comes Zak, waltzing back into her life! And he got a haircut and a fancy job, or at least some reason to wear a suit, which means maybe he’s matured a little bit. Still got that sexy stubble, though! Everything’s coming up Iris!

Gil Thorp, 10/27/17

I feel like the Gil Thorp powers that be vaguely got wind of an ongoing controversy involving the national anthem and football, and decided to rip it from the headlines but also massage it into something as inoffensive as possible until it becomes this: Rick Soto’s Uncle Gary is putting together an astroturfing campaign to try to trick the school into letting Rick sing the anthem before the next home game, in an attempt to get him to “go viral.” No matter what our political beliefs, I think we can all agree that Uncle Gary should get off Rick’s back, jeez.

Family Circus, 10/27/17

That’s right, Dolly knows the truth: The government makes you get vaccines full of chemicals that keep you docile so you don’t question their authority, WAKE UP SHEEPLE

Six Chix, 10/27/17

Soooooo, are Dracula and Frankenstein gonna … eat those ghosts or what

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Gil Thorp, 10/23/17

THE GIL THORP FOOTBALL SEASON STORY SO FAR: The football team is not great, and quarterback “can do some things well,” so Gil’s gonna resort to some classic Milford trickeration, like “the veer,” which I assume is some dumb weirdo formation from the leather helmet era like the wing-T, and which they’ll practice for weeks only to see it work for exactly three plays until their opponents figure out how to stop it, and also it’ll result in the whole offensive line getting concussed, somehow. Anyhoo, I’m a little in love with panel two here, in which Gil attempts to wow his mediocre quarterback with an expansive gesture in the direction of a 2009-vintage netbook where he’s managed to figure out how to make the file folders on his desktop different colors.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/23/17

Oh, right, that’s what happened to Buck’s abusive ex: she went to jail! Briefly, and none of the safeguards that were supposedly put in place actually worked. This continues to be a depressingly accurate depiction of how domestic abusers operate.

Mary Worth, 10/23/17

I think it’s a fantastic touch that Iris imagines Wilbur’s girlfriend as being the same height as him, and with greying hair. Like she’s hung up on on him and even she can’t get her head around this.

Crankshaft, 10/23/17

OH YEAH IT’S FALL AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS: CRANKSHAFT IS MAKING JOKES ABOUT PUMPKIN SPICE COFFEE! Anyway, anything that makes Ed Crankshaft so furious can’t possibly be bad, so it’s official: pumpkin spice is extremely good now.

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Mark Trail, 10/20/17

Oh, hey, I’ve been neglecting the antics in Mark Trail, haven’t I? Well, Mark and the robbers ran out of the old saloon out into eye of the tornado [is this an actual thing??? check before publishing] and Johnny and Sheriff Violent McMustache have emerged from the bear cave at the same time, and now gunplay’s afoot! Blonde Bank Robber Lady Whose Name I’m Not Sure We Ever Learned And I Definitely Don’t Feel Like Looking Up probably thinks that running away from the gunfight is a good way to not get shot, but she hasn’t reckoned with the frontier’s casual attitude about officer-involved shootings, or even random-dude-an-officer-gave-a-couple-of-guns-to-involved-shootings. Presumably everyone will just testify at the cursory police investigation that the tornado blew the bullets into her, and then head out to lunch.

Gil Thorp, 10/20/17

Jeez, Uncle Gary, will you lighten up? Maybe head injuries are gonna cause a little light damage to Rick Soto’s brain sometime down the line. But that’s years away, and as we can all see in the final panel, the mysterious glowing space-barrier is tightening its grip around the Earth now. Only a tiny slice of sky beyond it is still visible, and who knows what will happen when it completely encases our world in its energy field? Live for the moment, I say!