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Crankshaft, 6/14/20

Ha ha! It’s funny because Crankshaft is an old man who has to pee a bunch in the middle of the night!

Blondie, 6/14/20

Ha ha! It’s funny because … Cookie has more than one ex-boyfriend? Or maybe because a teen is trying to reach another teen by calling a landline number? Is that the joke?

Panel from The Lockhorns, 6/14/20

How can that car be such an uncomfortable fit for you two, neither of you is more than three feet tall

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The Lockhorns, 6/12/20

One thing I never get tired of reminding my fellow Olds who have become accustomed to using “millennial” as a synonym for “teen” is that the youngest millennials are adults in their mid-20s at this point and the oldest ones are middle-aged fogies in their late 30s. And while it’s never clear exactly how old Leroy and Loretta are supposed to be, it’s fully possible that they are, in fact, millennials. Today’s joke, then, was clearly inevitable.

Six Chix, 6/12/20

Honestly, how long have you been a cat owner that you haven’t already viewed cat food as pre-poop?

Dennis the Menace, 6/12/20

Dennis is so solipsistic that he believes that everyone is either trying to communicate with him or waiting for him to communicate with them, with no other options. Extremely menacing.

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The Lockhorns, 6/6/20

Probably most people reading this blog know that syndicated newspaper strips have to be submitted some time in advance of publication; generally the minimum is four weeks but some prefer to work months in advance. And so it can be a fun game to play: how long ago was this drawn? That especially applies in These Troubled Times, with history happening so quickly. Can you imagine that just a few short months ago, we thought that we’d be enjoying ourselves this summer by heading down to the cineplex to enjoy Scoob! (which was released straight to streaming) or the live-action Little Mermaid (the filming of which was delayed)? I guess in the Lockhornsverse, the COVID-19 pandemic never broke out, possibly because Leroy and Loretta’s powerful rage-radiation has antiviral effects that scientists don’t yet fully understand.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/6/20

Longtime Funkyverse trufans know about Frankie, Darrin’s biological father, who in the original long-ago storyline had a consensual sexual relationship with Lisa that got later retconned to sexual assault. Frankie makes occasional appearances for no real obvious reason beyond causing misery, and Les seemed to think that he had come back and was stalking him, but it turns out it was [comical BOI-OI-OI-OING sound] Mason??? As yet it’s unclear whether he was trying to “go method” by observing Les in his natural habitat so he could really bring Les’s brand of depressing unpleasantness to the screen, or whether he was just planning to murder Les before Les decided to once again tank the movie project that Mason has inexplicably become extremely passionate about.