Post Content

Funky Winkerbean, 8/1/17

OK, fine, I’m still not gonna dwell on the time-jump details, but here, here’s what Jeff and Pam and Max from Crankshaft look like ten years into their future, in Funky Winkerbean. Mostly I’m featuring today’s strip because it looks like, after a decade of pouring his youth and his passion into running the Valentine, Max might finally go out of business and be forced into an uncertain job market, only to have his dad say “Gee, that’s a shame! This is where I saw my favorite movie as a kid!”

Beetle Bailey, 8/1/17

Ha ha, yes, it’s definitely funny when a disgruntled army NCO, raging against the rules that restrain his behavior, pulls his sidearm and threatens to “fight bureaucracy!” The best-case scenario here is an awful on-base spree shooting; the worst is that Orville Snorkel emulates Liberia’s Samuel Doe, becoming the second sergeant in world history to lead a successful coup.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/1/17

Grampy’s deflection of the parson’s obvious come-on is as charming as it is subtle.

The Lockhorns, 8/1/17

Leroy … is drunk here, right? Very drunk at 8:30 am and heading to the office?

Family Circus, 8/1/17

“Then I said, ‘That’s some inspiring shit, mom, but if you don’t buy me that costume I’m gonna have a meltdown right here in Party City the likes of which you’ve never seen.’”

Post Content

Gil Thorp, 7/24/17

It’s pretty clear what’s happened here: our hapless colorist, befuddled by Mudlarkian banter and unable to tell Trey Davis and Jaquan Case apart when Trey’s mohawk isn’t in view, and made the fateful mistake of emblackening Trey’s partially visible profile in the third panel. Still, it’d be a lot more interesting of Jaquan didn’t just have minor knee surgery, but also a dissociative personality disorder that results in multiple identities jockeying for control. “Maybe I’ll return to the NBA–” [much deeper voice] “IGNORE HIM” “No, I’m just–” “HE’S HAVING AN EARLY MIDLIFE CRISIS” “I can’t let this happen aga–” “KILL! KILL! KILL!”

Lockhorns, 7/24/17

I’ve always been comfortable actually having very little idea about how old the Lockhorns are supposed to be, but I’ve also always been sure that they’ve been somewhere in the 35 to 50 range. Today’s panel seems to undermine everything I thought I knew, though. Unless Leroy has made himself a fake ID so he can get senior discounts? That’s why he loves it. He’s proud to show off his handiwork!

Six Chix, 7/24/17

Ahh, yes, it’s the classic cartoon trope, where you do a riff on the stereotypical adultery discovery where someone blurts out “My wife … and my best friend!” after walking in on them in bed together. Lotta variations have already been done, though! So why not do one where a lady comes into the bedroom and apparently sees a dog having sex with a giant, nightmarish arachnid, a scene that apparently makes her smile slightly and flutter her lashes while the dog looks at her sheepishly and the tick writhes on its back under the covers? Why not do that? Why not print it in newspapers across the country? Why not let everyone know that you thought about it, and drew it, and think it’s funny?

Post Content

Crankshaft, 5/18/17

I admit despite myself that I’m weirdly fascinated by this Bubba Watson cameo in Crankshaft this week, which has mostly served as a variation on one of the strip’s running “jokes,” which is that the guys are cruel to and dismissive of Lena, who has never been show to be anything but a nice person. Anyway, one thing that’s really jumped out at me is that Watson’s caricature hasn’t had any actual dialogue, as if he’s in this strip because he actually lost a real-life bet, but has negotiated some concessions to retain a smidgen of dignity.

The Lockhorns, 5/18/17

I guess Leroy’s diagonal lean is supposed to represent the fact that he’s getting down from the barstool and heading home to spend time with his hated wife, but I prefer to believe that he’s just about to teeter over into drunken unconsciousness, and “unhappy hour” is his little nickname for being face-down blackout drunk on the filthy floor of a bar.

Family Circus, 5/18/17

Yes, Kittycat does pray before meals. She prays to Bast, the cat goddess of the Egyptians, a much more ancient god than the one her cruel, melon-headed captors worship. She prays … for vengeance.