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Dennis the Menace, 4/30/15

I was going to make some kind of joke along the lines of “the divide between rewarded and unrewarded work under capitalism is still gendered and that’s the TRUE menace” here but then I noticed that Henry doesn’t even have a keyboard for his computer, just a mouse. What does he do for a living, like … click on things? Jesus, I hope he isn’t getting paid much for this.

Hi and Lois, 4/30/15

“How can a box ring a doorbell?” asks Dot, watching the Amazon drone buzz off. “How can we call a company a job creator when it works harder and harder to replace all its employees with robots? What good will my inefficient fleshy body be in the post-human future?”

Pluggers, 4/30/15

Pluggers know that chickens can perceive a much broader range of colors than dogs can, and divide fashion responsibilities accordingly. Do you think those pants look blue, with your human eyes? The dog knows better. The dog knows chickens see what we can’t.

Marvin, 4/30/15

Look, it’s not like King Features wants to publish a comic where every punchline is about a baby shitting himself, OK? It’s just … it’s Marvin. He can’t be stopped. He can’t help himself. Look, he’s seized control of the comic and is now penning his own “diaper diary.” “Today I had a conflict with my mother,” he writes. “And I got revenge by shitting myself.” Presumably this same joke-form will be repeated daily for years, for decades, while the civilized world begs for some kind of sanity to no avail, until the Earth is a burnt-out cinder.

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Pluggers, 4/14/15

This panel isn’t quite as in-your-face as all-time Depressing Pluggers Classics like “Rhino Man Hocks His TV” and “Kangaroo Woman Is At The Emotional Breaking Point”, but in its own low-key way it’s pretty fantastic. We used to build things in this country, you see; we used to work on loud factory floors where we could talk and whistle and laugh over the sounds of the machines, and nobody would complain. Now we tuck our polo shirts into our khakis and work in cube farms that are quiet as the grave, where we stare silently at our screens all day and when we’re done with that, we just look at the screens on our damn phones, and we put little jokey jokes up on Twitter, as if that means anything to anybody, anywhere.

Crankshaft, 4/14/15

I love how genuinely and innocently surprised Ralph looks in the second panel. “Wait, I could do that? Why, that would be much easier!”

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Apartment 3-G, 3/28/15

I guess I’ve sort of resigned myself to the notion that Apartment 3-G is now a perpetually vague dreamscape where odd things blandly happen for no particular reason and subject to no human logic. Anyway, is Margo’s ex-boyfriend Greg still James Bond? Is Eon Productions starting production of the next Bond film without announcing the lead actor, even to his co-stars? Will Bond just be inserted into the movie in post-production, via the same advanced green-screen technology that allowed the Owen Wilson-voiced Marmaduke to hit William H. Macy in the nuts, twice? Has Skyler just answered a Craigslist ad for a “Bond movie” that will turn out to be a porn shoot? Stay tuned!

Pluggers, 3/28/15

Wait, is a wrinkle mustache just when your upper lip gets so wrinkly it looks mustache-y? Does this only happen to pluggers? Or do only plugger grandchildren dare to be so rude to their elders?

Mark Trail, 3/28/15

Oh wow so you think big government is going to take care of our beetle problem, huh? NO THANKS LIB!!!!!!!!