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Spider-Man, 3/17/18

This Spider-Man storyline hasn’t exactly been covering itself with glory when it comes to even vague gestures towards scientific plausibility, what with the limb regrowth and the blood transfusion musical chairs. And this is of course a strip that routinely refers to spiders — the species at the core of its whole shtick — as insects. Even so, I’m particularly appalled by today’s installment, which appears to imply that Bruce Banner is a reptile. Why, just because the Hulk is green? First of all, not all green life forms are reptiles, or vice versa, and second, Bruce isn’t even green right now, jeez.

Pluggers, 3/17/18

Ha ha, remember that old guy who always refused to buy a cell phone and said “Why would I need to spend the money on one of those things? I’ve got two dimes in my wallet!” Anyway, he’s dead now. He ran out of gas and he died of exposure on the side of the highway.

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Dennis the Menace, 3/10/18

“Who would’ve guessed we’d get to spend the afternoon burying a dead guy, just because Mr. Wilson says we’re too young to go to ‘grown-up jail’?”

Pluggers, 3/10/18

This is hoarding. It’s real diagnosable condition and pluggers have it! They’re literally hoarding things!

Beetle Bailey, 3/10/18

YOU HEAR THAT YOU MILLENNIAL PUNKS? YOU LIKE TEXTING, DO YA? WELL YOU’RE GONNA FUCKIN DIE!!!!!

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Pluggers, 3/4/18

A plugger knows he’s on a restricted diet when his dog’s food starts to look appetizing, when he looks at his dog’s food and thinks, “This is how I’m supposed to eat, not with a fork and knife, not off of a plate, not wearing clothes, not living in a house.” A plugger knows the restrictions come from a decision he made long ago, when he had to choose to remain as he was or to become something different, something that was supposed to be better. A plugger doesn’t think about that decision very much any more. But sometimes he can’t help it.

Blondie, 3/4/18

Today’s Blondie, in which two icons of 20th century American pop-culture masculinity aggressively urge the protagonist to stuff himself with food until he can’t eat another bite, gives me a horrifying glimpse of who this strip is actually “for.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/4/18

Justin’s regurgatory cycle is the most interesting thing to happen in Rex Morgan, M.D., in months, so I guess I’ll just settle in and enjoy it for as long as it keeps happening. Can’t wait to see all the variations! “That’s our Justin!” [audience laughter] [everyone is splattered with vomit]